To ask how those who financially struggle manage at Christmas

[Crystalcrazy]

I’m a single person living on my own with grown up children who now live with their partners. I work full time on a low wage with no chance of overtime or a pay rise, I’ve asked multiple times. I can’t take on a second job due to other commitments.

I’m really struggling financially, every morning the first thing I do is check my balance on my online banking app. I don’t drink, smoke, go out or spend any money on myself on clothes, treats etc. My heating doesn’t get turned on above 15 degrees celsius and on the cold nights I get into bed after work with a hot water bottle.

I only now buy Christmas gifts for my children and their partners but even that is now becoming difficult. For Christmas dinner I’ll be putting something in the slow cooker to last me a few days.

How do those of you with little money manage at such an expensive time of the year. It’s really getting me down

Sadly no qualifications, just secondary school, no further education.

OP have your circumstances changed?

On your income, you'd only qualify for a small mortgage, so your basic bills shouldn't be £1k pm incl mortgage.

You also haven't answered about whether there's scope to downsize, or when your mortgage ends.

Have you tried doing the benefits checker 'Entitled To' in case you can receive even a small amount of benefits?

So can you downsize? You're not answering a lot about your home. Do you have room for a lodger?

@Crystalcrazy

Sadly no qualifications, just secondary school, no further education.

Ok … And I’m guessing you’re approaching or in middle age?

It would be impertinent to ask if you’ve never thought of getting some qualifications - I’m sure you have. Perhaps you were prevented when you were younger?

You write well - you’re clearly clever enough to have gone further academically. And you must know that secondary school exams alone are unlikely to provide a lush lifestyle without huge amounts of drive, talent and luck - and self-employment.

There is an enormous amount of support available to help people gain qualifications post-school. One year’s study could open your life out in a million ways.

But I suspect you’ve persuaded yourself this route is not for you …

Have you considered an apprenticeship? Some aren't age restricted, and you can earn a good salary while getting a degree.

I saw one my DS may consider - £20,050 per annum PLUS a BSc in engineering. 37 hours per week. (Though I think this is an age restricted example)

I buy presents throughout the year to help spread the cost.
Agree I've bought new items from charity shops , car boot sales & craft fares

If you are not fussy what you eat, try the app "Too Good to go" you pay a cheap price & collect locally a random assortment of food. You eat it same or next day. I freeze all the food I cannot eat immediately. I've had some really good deals.

I buy presents all year round.

I buy everything via TopCashback but I do a lot of work travel for my job and have made £8k in three years using it.

Also I look at where does points and how I can collect them.

She needs life insurance
Exhorbitant to take out when older and do you should never cancel a policy . But they pay out when terminally ill and that money can make a massive difference to end of life care
You don’t want to die terminally ill with only the nhs

A critical illness policy will pay out a lump sum if you get an illness.
Income protection will pay out a monthly sum in line with what your salary was.
Life insurance is a lump sum, usually to pay off your mortgage….but if you don’t have any dependents you wouldn’t need this.

Round us (south west) cleaners and carers are charging £20/hr since brexit and covid. So even with no formal qualifications you could earn a lot more than min wage.

If the person you care for is living as frugally as you then I can understand why you might help them, but if not then you simply can’t afford to. Do they have 2 hot meals a day and live in a warm house? If the answer is yes, then they either need to be giving you a hot meal or paying for their care. the bottom line is that you simply can’t afford to help them.

You have a car and a home, so have opportunity to change. What hold does this relative have on you that prevents you telling them you can’t be their carer?

Pop over to the Money Saving Expert 'Debt-Free Wannabe' board and input an SOA (state of affairs) form. You will get some helpful advice.

Best of luck .

Thanks once again, you’ve provided me with lots of helpful ideas.

I feel quite positive and am going to look into all suggestions.

I didn’t imagine myself to be in this position but due to unfortunate circumstances this is where I have found myself.

Trying to look onward and upward!

I haven’t read the whole thread but a couple of things stand out

1. If you have such ongoing caring responsibilities for your relative would it be another idea for you to move in with your relative or vice versa?
2. What is your life insurance covering? If it’s a lump sum on death, in the nicest possible way that’s leaving you short to leave money to others. If it’s for illness etc cover for you, is that something you need - if universal credit would pay similar amount should you be made redundant is this cover that you need?
3. Is there any possibility of taking a lodger or moving to a smaller / cheaper house?

Sorry if this is something others have covered, hoping you find some ideas to make things a little easier x

They don’t
Well I’m not I’ve still not bought any major gifts
My husband left and my child severely disabled so I don’t work as he requires night care
I was hoping I’d get my UC early
But it’s due 29th
Which is about my luck
Xx

I think alot of posters are trying to be helpful, the thing about having no spare cash is it gets exhausting after a while. Like I said in my previous post, I have been fortunate over the years that my/my husbands full time work has meant we have always had enough money (never loads, just not on the breadline!). A series of unfortunate events topped off by the pandemic meant this year has been the hardest we have had financially and it's stressful.
I have managed to get a better paid job, I feel sick every day worrying that I'm not good enough and they will get rid of me. Previously I would never have felt like this.
Once you are down getting back up is hard (definitely not impossible, but it takes alot more energy than an upward move from a place of relative comfort).
My advice is still get a better job/stop the caring role but I just wanted to add the above.

I would explain to the person you are caring for that you are struggling and need to work longer hours in order to cover your bills and that you cannot do as much for them as you are currently. They may even decide they can pay you something to help. It’s worth being open and honest with them.

People on mumsnet are actually ridiculous sometimes. Just get a better paying job, like it's so easy.

Op I get it, my mum is in the same position, single, nearly 60 working in aged care. She comes home from work exhausted and could not just get a second job. She doesn't have the skills or education to get a job that is easier on her body. She could earn more working nights in an aged care home but finds that her mental health really suffers. It is bloody rough sometimes.

I would stop buying gifts for your kids and their partners or just get them a box of chocolates. There is no way I would want my mum struggling to buy gifts for me. Take care of yourself as best you can and have a happy Christmas.

Some of the posters on here are in cloud cookoo land if they think increasing your income/decreasing outgoings is as easy as pie.

Obviously they don’t realise how privileged they are and are out of touch with reality by the sounds of it.

It’s a good job there are some more realistic answers

Well it depends @Clumsyvolcano, seeing as the OP has not clarified what she means about a low income, working full time, the size of her home or mortgage, or her age or length of mortgage remaining.

Obviously if she's in a one bed flat, with no equity and a mortgage based on a previous higher salary, she has fewer options than if she's still in the family home in an expensive area and she could move to a smaller property and be mortgage free with money left over, for example.

Plus there's a recruitment crisis right now and plenty of employers are paying well above NMW to try and recruit and retain staff, so many people could get a better paying job quite easily.

You could try Stepchange. They give free debt advice, if you're tied into contracts I know it isn't debt as such but they could still possibly give you ideas, couldn't hurt to ring them. They are very good.

Also citizens advice and/or try the "entitled to" website just to see if there might be any help you can claim.

Caring - you need to somehow get paid for this. Whether that’s directly from them, or they apply for allowance to pay you

House - I assume it’s got at least 2 bedrooms. Get a lodger. You benefit from extra, and they benefit from reasonable rental costs. That will help pay for utilities and mortgage.

Pay - you need to get direct with current employer and say after x amount of years, you are looking for an x % increase which is in line with government recommendations.

OP you started this thread asking about Christmas. I wanted to give a perspective. I was DC2 to a single mum and we were really hard up.

It was hard not having the stuff and experiences my classmates had. But it was fine at Christmas as long as DM could keep her head together.

The Christmas where we had a fancy lunch (tinsel on table etc but inexpensive Tesco value level food etc) and we were allowed to eat chocolate (again inexpensive) and cuddle up watching Xmas tv = great.

The Christmas where mum stormed around the house for a week beforehand shouting that Christmas was f-ing cancelled because we have no f-ing money = the pits. I was only about 6. I hung my stocking anyway saying loudly so 'Santa' (ie my mum) would hear that I didn't mind no presents even if i only get an orange so I know Santa has come. There were oranges in the kitchen. She couldn't even pull herself together to put the orange in the stocking after I went to bed. Worst.

I saw your post saying that the kids don't know about the money trouble. There's no shame in it. It's about how you handle yourself. They will remember the love, not the size or lack of gifts etc.

Hope this helps.

Cancel your TV license, I haven't had one for years and make do with Netflix, that'll save about £160 a year.

Cancel the life insurance, with no dependants you don't need it.

OP, go see the lovely people at the Old Style Money Saving board at Money Saving Expert. There are a lot of people in similar situations and they know how to manage on very little. I have learnt a lot from them.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/categories/old-style-moneysaving

Have you checked you're not entitled to universal credit OP? I'm sure you'd be able to claim something

I'm sure she wouldn't. There's pretty much zero support for homeowners without dependants.