Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude school Dad. AIBU to say something?

600 replies

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 17:52

When I'm picking DS up from reception, parents queue up down a narrow space between the school building and a fence and the teacher stands in the doorway calling each child out in order of parents in the queue. It's a long queue, 30 kids to be collected. You have to wait a while if you're at the back. I'm usually one of the last in the queue as I collect older DD first from another playground, so I've never noticed this before but today she had a playdate so I was maybe number six in the queue waiting before the classroom door opened.

Shortly before the door opened, one Dad just strolled past everyone and stood at the front of the queue. Right past about 20 other people and collected his kid third or fourth. Proceeded to also have lengthy "bants" with the teacher, delaying everyone else's child getting called and signalling he is in no hurry.

I was quite astonished and said to the mum behind me "I'm assuming he has a good reason for pushing past everyone else who's waiting". She just rolled her eyes and shook her head and said "every night".

Now I have encountered this man before on a couple of occasions and I took against him then. Spidey senses signalled the twat-horn. When a few parents took our children to the park across from school and I was part of a group standing chatting which included his wife who seems lovely, he barged in and took over the conversation. I learned they have older kids, so it's not like he has to dash off and collect other kids. He announced he is now retired (would guess he is late 40s early 50s) and his wife works part time and apparently he's a self-made business man who likes to boast about his money . So not rushing back after school to start work again (like me and lots of other parents). There was also a streak of sexism too, man barges into group of women and takes over.

So clearly I am being petty to let this piss me off enough to write a Mumsnet thread about it. But what would you do? I should just get over it I know. But ... So. Annoying. (His self proclaimed cheeky chappy persona gives me rage.) And our kids are likely to have another 14 years of school together.

Or shall I make sure I start getting to school early so I can address it with him if he does his entitled push-in job again? What do I say? He is an arrogant fucker clearly so would need to be well considered. Hence asking you wise people.
Do I even email school in a PA fashion to ask that they send out an email to all re queueing etiquette? I feel lovely teachers have enough to deal with, especially as I noticed CF dad being told by teacher at parents evening he was "cheeky". Didn't hear the comment he made but know the teacher and her tone suggested "back the fuck off".
Yes yabu - move on, get a life
No yanbu - take him down, or try to and get egg on face

OP posts:
BlackSwan · 18/12/2021 09:33

is this just the queue for people with a penis then?
Grin

That he shouted at you just shows how badly he needed this dressing down.

I hope he becomes a social pariah now. Twat.

lottiegarbanzo · 18/12/2021 09:34

The old 'there's nothing stopping anyone else doing this too' excuse. I've met that one. Disdaining everyone else for being silly, conformist sheep. Total lack of awareness that other people are actively choosing to follow the rules, because that's what works for everyone.

The obvious response would be for everyone else to do it, so you're in a big messy throng in the playground. Or get five or six people to march forward randomly, one at a time, Spartacus style. You'll never persuade them though.

I would be emailing the school at this point. What you need is for the head to come out and 'have a word' (publicly, on the playground, holding him up). What you'll probably get is a line in the newsletter, remining everyone to queue nicely.

Thehop · 18/12/2021 09:39

You’re brilliant Op

Oblomov21 · 18/12/2021 09:51

Good update OP. Well done you.

WeeHaggisFace · 18/12/2021 09:54

This thread has brightened up my morning

MajorCarolDanvers · 18/12/2021 10:02

BRAVO OP - we will need to hear the sequel though - did he learn his lesson?

HunterGatherer · 18/12/2021 10:18

Well done OP, I like to think I'd have done the same. The teachers are utterly weak though.
No way would I tolerate his behaviour if I was managing that queue.
Lol at self made business man.......bet he's a drug dealer. Hmm

RosiePosieDozy · 18/12/2021 15:28

Well done OP. I am proud of you!

You should always stick up for what's right. I can't abide rudeness.

If he does continue to skip the queue, I wouldn't let it lie. I wouldn't speak to him again about it but I would speak to the teacher/send a message to them and tell them what's he's doing and how rude it is. The school shouldn't be accepting this behaviour either.

Hertsgirl10 · 18/12/2021 15:49

Glad you said something he will be worried all holidays!

On another note.. do mums & dads take their kids to the pubs on the last day of term at pick up?
Have I missed a truck here cos been doing school runs for years and never had an invite 😆

lottiegarbanzo · 18/12/2021 16:24

Of course he won't be worried all holidays - why would someone like him give what a silly woman says, a second thought?!

nomoneytree · 18/12/2021 16:26

Do the kids actually come out in parents queue order? Teachers scan the queue and the kids come out in the order they are ready at my school.

MadeForThis · 18/12/2021 16:54

I would get the others all together and agree not to queue any more. All stand in a group at the top so he is stuck behind.

Bastard.

TinselTroels · 18/12/2021 17:01

Get all the people picking up organised, chat at him, Back of the line, Back of the line. Block his way through. You could have a lot of fun with this. Walk down the line of people before he gets there and let them know what will be happening, ask them to join in.

Bassetlover · 18/12/2021 17:55

Fabulous! Well done!

Murdoch1949 · 18/12/2021 19:18

Next time he does it, say LOUDLY, excuse me, you may not have realised but there is a queue.

BobbieT1999 · 18/12/2021 19:31

@Murdoch1949

Next time he does it, say LOUDLY, excuse me, you may not have realised but there is a queue.
...and "hands up all those who agree with me"
Notremotelycalm · 18/12/2021 19:40

@PuntasticUsername

Fuck the cunt up. Stale lemon drizzle cake to the back of the head should do it.
I just spat my tea out at this response!

In all seriousness to OP I'd first have a word with any one else at pick up you are close enough to speak to it about. See if it's not just you. Then maybe send an email to school to say that people aren't happy.

You never know, there might be some legit reason he does this. (From his other behaviour I doubt it and he's just a twat)

Then if if continues after this, call the bastard out. With the previously suggested lemon drizzle cake. Although it's a shame to waste the cake

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 18/12/2021 19:53

The teacher needs to ask him to stop pushing to the front. There's a CF mother at my DGD's school who does similar, the teacher stands no nonsense and tells her to wait her turn. On one occasion CF said, 'But I'm parked on the zigzags!' 😳

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 18/12/2021 21:01

@NadjaofAntipaxos

I didn't email school in the end, had a super busy day at work and wasn't thinking on it. I decided to just ask him if there was a reason. For anyone concerned he may have a reason like child's SEN, friend is good friends with his wife and assures me no issues there. Also, as someone pointed out, if there were, he should arrive early. He doesn't work. He could also have said yes. I was quite prepared to be told to mind my own business. Fair enough.
If he thinks anyone can go to the front of the queue, next time just walk up and straight right in front of him. Let him know anyone can push in, as he said.

Then loudly ask the teacher if it's a free for all or if they expect parents to queue, given Covid and everything. She'll say queue, you turn around and say "see, John (or whatever) the teacher says we SHOULD queue, not push in. It's for Health and Safety so presumably is a must". Back to teacher "thanks for clarifying, MOST of us do queue". Smile.

What. A. Prick.

Workinghardeveryday · 18/12/2021 21:38

Just been reading this thread.

Sooooo pleased you told the cock. I am angry for you!!!

Americano75 · 18/12/2021 21:59

You did really well but I'm a bit annoyed that no one else joined in to back you up, especially as they're all as pissed off as you. Also, why are the staff allowing this?

JacquelineCarlyle · 18/12/2021 22:01

Well done Op - he sounds like a complete dickhead. Please keep standing up to him (& I hope others back you up next time).

Emberino · 18/12/2021 23:23

He does sound annoying, however life is too short to stress about him. There is always one parent who will be really annoying and rude. Just ignore him.

backtolifebacktoreality · 18/12/2021 23:29

@JacquelineCarlyle

Well done Op - he sounds like a complete dickhead. Please keep standing up to him (& I hope others back you up next time).

This

TheBestofTimesTheWorstofTimes · 18/12/2021 23:29

@Emberino

He does sound annoying, however life is too short to stress about him. There is always one parent who will be really annoying and rude. Just ignore him.
Rubbish advice which just lets the ignorant make things more difficult for the rest of us.

Would you just let a kid push to the front every time they wanted to - and tell the polite kids "ah leave them alone, life is too short"? Not a great way to teach kids manners. So why let a grown man?