Would you put up with this from friends on your 40th???

[mila0]

I have a certain group of about 6 girlfriends and we all go back to uni / early 20s. We lived together (pre- husbands etc obviously). Most of us still live in London, but two have moved out some years ago.

Anyway, I am the last to turn 40, but we’ve all turned 40 in the last year. None of them did anything for their 40th. My husband did send us on a break to Italy some months ago, which was lovely, but also some aspects of that annoyed me (but that’s another thread).

Anyway, for my birthday I didn’t want a massive party so I thought I’d see different groups of people and either have them over or take them out over the next few months. Two of them were ringing and ringing me for weeks about my birthday - “What are you planning? When do I pencil you in? Can’t wait!!!” All this kind of thing. So in the end, I booked and we went out for dinner somewhere really nice. However, these are my issues -

1. Of the 5 of them, only 2 brought a gift. Bearing in mind, I got them all (what I think) were really lovely things on their birthdays. One friend actually showed up, made a big drama about how she’d left my gift in her car but it was miles away, and then proceeded to give me a bottle of Prosecco in an M&S carrier bag she must have just bought in the tube! Another said the post hadn’t come. Another said some other waffle.

2. One of them made a toast - but essentially, she made it all about her! Also they all were making out that this was a celebration of “our birthday year.” Which it kind of was, but if it is that, why am I footing the whole bill then?

3. One in particular, kept saying TK
   Me whenever the water was lurking, “I’ll have anothec one if you are” - i.e. champagne at £22 per glass and I hasn’t even intimated I was having another anyway. Then, when the waiter said, “any more ladies” she said, “probably easier to get a bottle.” She did this twice and it was just under £200, just for that. No intention of paying - (fair enough it was my invite) - but I personally would just never do that! Not after giving Prosecco in a carrier bag to one of your oldest friends on her 40th! This is what annoys me.

AIBU to be rethinking some of these people? I don’t want anything from them, but it’s the attitude of one or two that has got me upset. AIBU?

I think your age is relevant. Pisstakey friends were irritating in my 30's, and then unbearable in my 40's. I am now 50 and my friendship group has changed a lot in the last 10 years. I have very little spare time or energy, and I refuse to spend any of it on cheeky fuckers anymore, or friends who were a habit rather than a genuine pleasure to be with.
I have fewer friends, but they are amazing. The fake ones are not missed.

Yes of course I would go to any restaurant or whatever they organised. I’m really not bothered at all about the type of place as long as there is veggie food. To be honest, it was my husband who suggested this place. He gets out and about more than I do due to his work. I didn’t fully realise how expensive the champagne would be. There was wine on the table anyway when she was ordering more champagne. I had already ordered champagne when they were arriving.

Anyway, I’m over it now. Thankyou very much for all the thoughtful comments on here. Much appreciated. I guess you live and learn!

@nonevernotever no I don't think she should have to pay because she's rich, I'm just thinking she may have made a rod for her own back here.
I have a rich friend, but when we go out for meals I wouldn't dream of accepting his invitation if I couldn't afford to pay my way and always offer to pay - it's always declined but I'd never assume he would always pay or take the mick by ordering something expensive!

Tap the twat on the shoulders and point to the back of the queue. No way could I let this go. Or get one of the mums with a park to block the narrow path.

Pram

Ha sorry wrong threat.