To hate working with women

[HousethatChunkbuilt]

I am a feminist and I think women are incredible. I am proud at all we achieve, having babies, periods, going through the menopause, the constant harassment, fear of violence, discrimination, sexism... the list goes on.
HOWEVER I find it incredibly difficult to work in all female teams. I have nearly always worked in all female environments in entry level jobs.
The bitchiness is unreal. Everyday comments lead to tears, meltdowns, refusal to come in. This has happened in every single workplace. The only place I haven't had this is in a shop where it was mostly men and other (quite mature) women. Oh and one place where we were all different nationalities, is cattiness a British thing?
It just takes so much time and effort navigating the various rifts, arguments, feuds and rivalries. I honestly think we'd rule the world if we could get rid of this shit.
I'm quite matter of fact and get frustrated that this taking up so much time!

@maffhew what a load of rubbish.

Oh dear, OP.

@PurpleDaisies

This has happened in every single workplace.

What do those workplaces have in common?

This!

I’ve been working since all round ‘ere were fields. Spent many years in teens and twenties in retail before heading to university.

I’ve been in one ‘bitchy’ or ‘catty’ (fucking hate these expressions) environment. All women but I put it down to the fact I was The Temp and shrugged it off.

That was over 21 years ago. Worked in mixed, predominantly male AND predominantly female teams since. Never experienced any tears (unless justified, for eg a phone call with awful news), meltdowns, refusals to attend, fueds, rivalries or arguments.

What on Earth causes all these issues to arise?!

I work in a very female dominated team. It's brilliant and supportive and a wonderful place to work.

My team is all female apart from 1 man and no problems at all. We are all lovely.

I include everybody if im doing a lunch. Make everybody feel secure. I dont run anybody down. I'm never passive aggressive. Ive been there the longest and it wasnt great when i started, so it wasnt always in my "control" to contribute to the atmosphere

i treated everybody the way i wish id been treated. Good atmos now.

@AFS1

This isn’t representative of my experience working in all-women environments.

Me neither.

@PurpleDaisies

This has happened in every single workplace.

What do those workplaces have in common?

😂

I honestly don’t think it’s to do with the sex of the people you work with.

I have worked in two all female teams and they were fab. I worked in a mixed team but 2/3rds men and they were the bitchiest most back stabbing bunch I’ve worked with!

Think it just depends on the personalities of all involved.

100% agree with you. The drama is exhausting.. I used to work with 50 women and I hated it. Always been a more relaxing and fuss free atmosphere when I've mainly worked with guys

I think you need to have a think about your internalised misogyny.

It is really common for women to value interaction with men more as life experience teaches us that our worth depends on male esteem above female esteem. I hope that feminism gives a way for every woman to challenge that impulse.

I do not recognise the description you've given of female dominated workplaces from reality, but I do recognise it from books, films etc. It is a common narrative given to devalue women. I wonder if you see it because you are expecting to see it?

Always, always remember you are not in competition with other women for male attention.

Not my experience BUT there is going to be an exhibition in a museum in Lancaster in the new year about how this is kind of behaviour is actually inherited due to the historic witch trials hundreds of years ago!

Am getting on now, and worked in wide range of entry level, academic, professional, labouring, expert role, consultant roles, and never...

... experienced anything like you describe.

Had an all-female video call just earlier and we were practically reaching through the screen for hugs and smiles.

Perhaps (and I say this as one of those very strong angry feminists) your frustration that other women are not behaving as you think feminists should (god forbid any stereotypical female behaviour that might show you all up), is making you a bit too sensitive to things you perceive are too feminine and letting the side down?

You're clearly not proud of the women you're around. Reminds me of that Pratchett observation about not having the right type of people to govern.

I don't recognise this at all. I've worked in all female teams by chance (big 4 accountancy) and experienced none of that. Everyone was very professional.

Sounds like Financial Services to me ....

In my experience, it's a mix of people and perspectives.

I am proud at all we achieve, having babies, periods, going through the menopause, the constant harassment, fear of violence, discrimination, sexism... the list goes on.

Erm... you're proud women have achieved periods and the menopause? Was that all you could think of when trying to prove your feminist credentials? Babies and sexism? Lol

I'm with you op. It isn't only you.

The last time I tried to work in an all female team, my female boss called me SkinnyBits on day 2, and by day 7 she called me SkinnyBitch behind my back.

The one before that, the female team director always wore jeans and boots to work. I usually wear skirt and thick tights, or dress and boots. She took the piss constantly until I gave up trying to look tidy, and in the end felt so scruffy and down, that I gave up and left.

I don't comment on other women, I try to keep myself to myself. I hate the way women do that.

I work in a mixed team now, male boss, male and female colleagues. No sniping or cattiness. Just focus on work. Such a relief.

I grew up in an all women environment, worked for years in all women professions
Then worked with all male environments

I prefer the women!

also have 2 sons... they think they are easier but my god the boys think they are rule the world 😬😬 much prefer my friends daughters

I'm literally not made to deal with men and their utter bullshit

Same here, op. The bitchiness is unreal. Men are far easier to work with.

I have worked in mainly female environments, and have never experienced this. It's men who have caused issues for me in workplaces.

I’ve always worked with mostly or all female teams and have never had the OPs experience. My colleagues have often been a great support and become friends. I also have a lovely, supportive and friendly group of mums in my dc school too. Weird I know!

I've noticed that dh and his friends speak in a way to each other where if it was women, they'd fall out and never speak to each other again. I think generally women have higher emotional intelligence and are therefore more sensitive to small things which occur in daily conversation and interactions.

I think you need to have a think about your internalised misogyny.

OP needs to have a think about their externalised misogyny.

I'm a nurse who works with lots of other nurses and midwives . 99% female environment

I don't see this at all
Some people are arses no matter their gender
Most are wonderful

Considering just prior to the pandemic 24% of NHS staff, and around the same % for nurses in particular, reported that they had been bullied or harassed by colleagues or managers during the previous year you've either been very lucky to have never seen this at all or are just blind to it.