To hate working with women

[HousethatChunkbuilt]

I am a feminist and I think women are incredible. I am proud at all we achieve, having babies, periods, going through the menopause, the constant harassment, fear of violence, discrimination, sexism... the list goes on.
HOWEVER I find it incredibly difficult to work in all female teams. I have nearly always worked in all female environments in entry level jobs.
The bitchiness is unreal. Everyday comments lead to tears, meltdowns, refusal to come in. This has happened in every single workplace. The only place I haven't had this is in a shop where it was mostly men and other (quite mature) women. Oh and one place where we were all different nationalities, is cattiness a British thing?
It just takes so much time and effort navigating the various rifts, arguments, feuds and rivalries. I honestly think we'd rule the world if we could get rid of this shit.
I'm quite matter of fact and get frustrated that this taking up so much time!

YABU . I work with professional women so not the same environment as yours. No one has the time to indulge in such behaviours! However you do mention that it was different when the women were mature. So perhaps this is an issue about very young people just entering the workforce and learning to cope with the challenges?

I absolutely love working with women. Find women hard working, easy to deal with, passionate and good at just getting on with the job

I am a feminist and I think women are incredible.

Women aren't 'incredible'. Well, OK, a few are, but most of us are just normal people getting on with life, like men. Some women are great, some are awful, most are somewhere in between.

If you have a repeated problem with 50% of the human population, then I'd suggest that you look closer to home for the source of the problem. Because it might just be you.

@IcedPurple

I am a feminist and I think women are incredible.

Women aren't 'incredible'. Well, OK, a few are, but most of us are just normal people getting on with life, like men. Some women are great, some are awful, most are somewhere in between.

If you have a repeated problem with 50% of the human population, then I'd suggest that you look closer to home for the source of the problem. Because it might just be you.

It’s not 50% though. I think people are deliberately overlooking that the op has admitted she also doesn’t like men. She dislikes working with women and working with men but has somehow deduced that other women are problematic in the workplace and not that the issue is that she struggles to work with others.

I have no idea where you work but have never experienced this in the work place - and if you keep on experiencing it then maybe it’s not them, it’s you.

I don’t like working with a lot of women either. I much prefer to work with men, which in my line of work is perfect.

I absolutely adore my current almost-all-female work environment, and I (slightly) dread my (possible) move into a sector where I'll likely be one of few women around. Currently, everyone asks after each other, remembers birthdays/ deaths in family/ generally supports one another/ mucks in when it's time to set up or clear up after tea and coffee in a meeting or whatever. I know it will be different elsewhere.

Also we have a few young and gorgeous colleagues (not an observation I would have made but I'm addressing a comment above) and I'm happy they're in a lovely time of their lives? I'm not aware of any cattiness towards them.

I've mostly worked in all-female teams and I've generally found them to be great.

The award list. In my experience...

Biggest All-Round Cunt: Male.
Laziest Fucker: Male.
Nastiest Sniper: two (both female) equal first.
Biggest Bully: Male.
Most Manipulative Toerag: Male.
Most Venal, Shallow Twat: Male.
Most Incompetent: a few, all female.
Most Unnecessarily Fragile: various female.
Worst Sexist: male.
Biggest Perve: various male.
Most Annoyingly Right-on: female.

And the stars list:
Best All-Round Star and Force for Good: equal one female and one male.
Hardest Worker: female (also NS above)
Most Competent: male.
All Round Decent: female.
Nicest: various female.
Kindest: various female.

I doubt that proves anything much, but it was interesting to reminisce. Although most of the winners in the positive categories are female and the negative ones male (and the latter from my very short working life in the UK).

@HousethatChunkbuilt

Is there any other subject where women would be told that there experiences are not valid and that they're lying?

What? Yes, of course. Literally hundreds. Sexual assault, domestic violence, and street safety leap to mind as the most obvious daily ones.

Absolutely. All male teams (except me) are way to go! Honest, always have your back even if on the surface it’s competitive.

Eh? I can't relate to this experience

I work in a female orientated profession and have never experienced this.

I also worked in retail for years in an all female team and never experienced this and these are totally different cities and careers.

What industry are you in?

The point is not that their experiences are not valid or that they are lying, rather that (obviously) they are not representative of workplaces in general. As this thread shows, many other factors apply such as the industry, the age of colleagues, type of work, strength of managers and so on. Even the OP acknowledged that they really don't like working with people in general regardless of their sex.

Working with men is no picnic either

Absolutely. All male teams (except me) are way to go! Honest, always have your back even if on the surface it’s competitive

I worked with an all male team. It scarred me for life. They were horrible. I’ve always loved all my female colleagues.

@Thegreencup

I've worked in mainly male and mainly female environments. My experience is that the bitching, moaning and complaining is universal and confined to one specific gender. If its not Sandra complaining that Barbara's top offends her eyes, Liam is complaining that Kevin's used the last of the milk and making a spreadsheet to determine who eats most biscuits.

And yes that actually did happen.

Aah, the biscuit wars. I have experienced a few and all male troops involved, fwiw. I work in a female dominated field (not literally). Some hold professional qualifications in the area and some don't. I would say it is overwhelmingly a friendly, supportive environment. Of course there are disagreements and personality clashes on occasion, but most seem happy to work for the organisation. So YABU, but that is based on your experience, so i also understand why you would ask. I wonder if you have just been unlucky? I hope hearing so many positive reports of predominantly female work forces helps. There is hope.

I can’t say I’ve found this. I currently work in an all female team - ages range from 20 to 60. Yes, there is the occasional moan that someone isn’t pulling their weight, but I wouldn’t call it bitching. Generally everyone is hugely supportive of each other.

For the PP who felt that some women were jealous of someone who was younger and better looking than them, I’ve only come across this once. EXCEPT although she would have said this was the reason, it wasn’t at all. I’m older, only work v part time and don’t get involved in office politics (seen it all before), but I did observe her two-faced back stabbing and undermining of her close colleagues to management. She claimed she’d been bullied. She hadn’t. They didn’t like her because she never missed a chance to put the boot in. She was always very nice to me, but I’d seen that kind of behaviour before (by a man) and I don’t like it at all.

I do, however, think bitchiness in the workplace can be infectious. It’s v easy for someone who has less self-confidence to get sucked into supporting that kind of toxic culture. Not so different to the playground really.

@HousethatChunkbuilt Worked in all female environments for 14 years, my experience hasnt been anything like that. But prior to that I worked in mixed teams and regularly experienced sexual harrassment, bullying, manipulation, controlling, dismissive and aggressive behaviour. I know which I prefer.

[quote CallmeBadJanet]@HousethatChunkbuilt Worked in all female environments for 14 years, my experience hasnt been anything like that. But prior to that I worked in mixed teams and regularly experienced sexual harrassment, bullying, manipulation, controlling, dismissive and aggressive behaviour. I know which I prefer.[/quote]
Quite. Being "bitchy" is a far worse crime, though, according to some.

I’ve I’ve never ever ever felt jealous of someone who was younger than me ever. Mainly because l didn’t want to be that age again.

As for prettier. I was really attractive when younger. I’m glad I don’t have to keep up the maintenance anymore.

So the thought I’d being jealous of someone has just never been on my radar. We all have our times to shove.

Shine not shove!

Is pretty incredible so many people saying that never came across this.
I always felt that I couldn’t stand working alongside too much women as they are always bitching or bad mouthing everyone’s else, is a very toxic environment and I prefer to work with men 100%.
Might be because of bad past experiences that brought me to this conclusion, and it always reflect on the current ones.
But it is a true fact that woman bitch a lot.
Some just keep themselves to themselves that’s true, but there’s many places that the level of bitchiness is unbearable.
I’m with you ! 😉

@TomPinch

Couldn't agree more, however i have just met the most jealous, bitchy, lying shit of my working life and it is male! Cost me my job. I work predominantly with women. OK so far!

I always felt that I couldn’t stand working alongside too much women

Strange.,..
I’ve never felt like that. I’ve always loved my female colleagues to bits. I’ve always looked forward to working with women.

Wonder if it’s about attitudes

Am dealing with this now, and not happy about it. Actually worked with an all female team for 10 years and they were (mostly) lovely.

Not the case at this firm, have one nasty little piece of work who has never had a job before but got hired due to her parents being prominent in the industry. She is great about acting over the top kind in front of management, and then a rude little sh*t when it's just us. I used to try to be friendly but now completely ignore her unless it's work related conversation. I notice it makes her squirm a bit to have me no longer make any effort to engage. Not the response she was hoping for, I guess.