NRTFT
Aside from the marriage stuff you do sound very naive about being a single parent. Babysitting other people kids is nothing like having your own.
What will happen when your child/children get sick, nursery’s and schools have strict rules on allowing sick children in, they won’t be allowed in from anything from 48/72 hours after they vomit or had diarrhoea. You will have to keep them off when they get checking pox, every-time they get fevers (especially in the current climate) Do you have any idea how many times children get sick? Nursery’s are a breading ground for sickness and it’s not only the children who get sick the parents do too. Have you any idea what it’s like when an entire house gets a vomiting bug? There have been times when I’ve literally used every bedsheet and towel in the house and had to camp out on sofas because all the beds have been hit.
Then there is the number of times you get called to pick them up half way through the day. Taking time off for Drs and hospital appointments. Some nursery’s and schools won’t administer medication, can you take time off if your child needs meds during the day? School holidays, the school year is about 175 days, give or take a few days so you need to ensure you have child care for 190 days a year.
You would need to make sure that you have a very understanding employer and very good sick/family leave policy. Having support from a father is very different to family as a father has no choice but to be there to help (well in most cases) family and friends may not want to be exposed to illnesses or drop everything just to help you out.
I lost a job because I had to take time off when one of my children was sick, she’d had a bad fever, then vomiting bug, then a throat infection all one after the other. Even with DH and I splitting time off I was told I was taking too much time off to look after her (she was 3) In the end they told me to get my priorities right, work or my child, I choose my child, something I would not have been able to do as a single parent.
Then who is going to look after any children while your in hospital having more? What if there are complications and you need to stay in? What happened if you get sick or need hospital care, whose going to look after your child/children?
And worse case scenario, what happens to your child/children if you die? They will literally be orphans. If your well educated you will understand that can happen to anyone at anytime.
What if you loose your job? Being “well educated” is no guarantee you can walk from one job into another.
What about when they start school, dose your salary cover breakfast and after school clubs as well as any other costs? School uniforms are ridiculously expensive, then there are extra curricular activities.
Most single mums have a father around somewhere and they have custody arrangements in place, allowing the mum a break what the child/children are with the father or fathers family. Plus they get financial help. Granted it’s not always the case, but a lot of the time it is.
Maybe what you need to do is ask for the pros and cons of single parenting from people who have done it.