Paying per head for Xmas dinner at sil house

[Michellexxx]

We’re going for a ‘second Xmas’ at sisters house. They have requested that we each pay per head for the meal.. we have hosted about 3 Tim’s before and they have brought a course/bottle/maybe offered 20 quid one year. But if we don’t eat the cheese/drink the wine they brought, they took it home.
It’s been calculated that the family coming will basically pay for the food part and they’re gonna pay for extras..

It’s a relatively far drive and we’ve never charged like this- even when they stayed at ours and had all their meals here!

I have already suggested it’s a bit much for some family who are travelling. The hosts earn reasonably well, so I don’t understand this! We’re having to pay £45 to travel 2 hours and obv most people won’t be able to drink because they’re driving!

Am I over thinking this?

what was their justification.

I hope it wasn't 'well, we're hard up'

because if you are that hard up you do not host and expect people to bring/subsidise the meal.

This year I asked for £12 a head just to cover food costs. I host at my house and do all the decorating, prep, cooking and cleaning up after.

Im 25, the youngest of my family and host my siblings, their kids and partners and my parents. I am an NHS student, can't work and don't have loads of money and my family offer to give me money, just to let them know how much it is this year.

So it depends on circumstances, if your sister can afford it and in the past they haven't paid then yes I'd say it's unfair.

We split the cost per head, but that's because there's usually 20+ people for Christimas Eve, Christmas Day and some Boxing Day too. We're the only ones with enough space so it's always at ours.
Our family wouldn't come every year if they couldn't contribute to the cost because they know how pricey it is and they're not CF'ers.

To announce it this late on without any discussion is a bit random though.

£45 per head just for food is a LOT. What are they making??

Don't go again

I always find it it weird when people invite you and ask you to pay a fee per head. Dont bloody invite people if you can't afford it. I have never charged anyone or ask for food to be brought when I am having a party no matter how many people I have invited.

Can you say that you will give the meal a miss as you will have to feed your dc (stopping on the journey? ) so it makes no sense to have 2 meal times and of course you wont be drinking because you will be travelling back home the same day.

erm...ZOMBIE

If you want to go you'll have to suck it up. Personally I'd just see the various family members between Xmas or New year. I'd have also told my sister she was a CF but then qe have a very open relationship and she'd never do this.

Like others have said, you should host if you can't afford it. We host every year and if guests want to bring a bottle then great but I wouldn't expect it.