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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This isn't enough for Christmas....

290 replies

bridgeovertroubledwatrr · 13/12/2021 17:11

Strangely this is my first proper boyfriend at 29Confused
Anyway been together 7 months and I'm not sure if I have enough for him for Christmas
So far
Adidas tee
Vans tee
Adidas jogging bottoms
Backback
Pjs
Socks

Spent around £120
Do I get more bits or am I okay with that?
Don't want to come across stingy but then don't want to be ott
Is this okay ?

OP posts:
lastqueenofscotland · 13/12/2021 18:20

More than I’ve spent on my long term DP and we’ve been together yonks.
We are putting money aside for a really elaborate holiday when we are ever allowed instead

Hairwizard · 13/12/2021 18:20

Id have maybe bought tickets for something for you to do as a couple or his fave aftershave if he uses it. If i really liked him.

Hemingwayscatz · 13/12/2021 18:21

That’s more than I’d spend on my DH personally Grin. You’ve spent too much imo.

espressomartiniweeny · 13/12/2021 18:22

I think that's fine to spend at the start when you're trying to impress each other.

I'm surprised he gave you a list of things that early on but if you asked because you wanted ideas then that's fine, at least you'll know he'll like it.

This year me and DH will spend £100-200 on each other. We've had a couple of non present giving years with a house move and a couple of maternity leaves. I give DH a list whereas he likes a surprise. It works for us!

Helpstopthepain · 13/12/2021 18:23

It’s fine op. If you can afford it I don’t see the problem.
You know it’s stuff he likes and you don’t seem to mind spending it.
Don’t get any more.

Puddington · 13/12/2021 18:23

I think that's fine, if he complained about it not being enough or something definitely LTB! My DP and I agreed to spend around £100 on each other but as we just snap things up as and when we see them it's probably a bit more than that sometimes. I wouldn't buy things for the sake of it though, just when I see things that really remind me of him/I know that he'll really like. I don't think there's really any right or wrong amount to spend (unless you're on a tight budget generally and are bankrupting yourself for Xmas), but I think you've got him a lot and I hope he will appreciate it!

Original poster
bridgeovertroubledwatrr · 13/12/2021 18:23

He doesn't like after shave and we are already going to a concert in June together and there's nothing else we fancy seeing.
He won't tell me what he got me
It's a surprise apparently

OP posts:
QueenofLouisiana · 13/12/2021 18:23

I’ve spent about that on my husband of 22 years!

thamesriviera · 13/12/2021 18:23

STOP !! more than enough.

Ellen888 · 13/12/2021 18:24

A bit much after 7 months but your choice...

XmasElf10 · 13/12/2021 18:26

That’s quite a lot unless you have lots of disposable income.

IgneousRock · 13/12/2021 18:28

I think that sounds fine OP.

OnlyonemoresleeptilChristmas · 13/12/2021 18:30

@QueenofLouisiana

I’ve spent about that on my husband of 22 years!
I’ve been married 25 and we’ve said no more than £25 this year Grin

We aren’t skint, it just all seems such a waste and lots of ‘stuff’.

bridgeovertroubledwatrr
I asked him what he wanted and he said he would like those things (obviously not exact colours etc )
But he gave me a rough idea

What have you asked for? I’d be a bit Hmm about a boyfriend expecting more than £100 spent on him (Unless you’re really rich.)

I agree with this . It’s a bit much for him to have asked^ you to buy all this.

Plantsandpuddlesuits · 13/12/2021 18:30

@WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia

Do you know how much he’s going to spend on you? It’s going to be a bit awkward if he’s sitting there unwrapping half of Jd sports and all you get is a box of Quality Street.
Half of JD sports 😂😂😂
phoenixrosehere · 13/12/2021 18:31

I asked him what he wanted and he said he would like those things (obviously not exact colours etc )
But he gave me a rough idea

Then if that’s what he asked for I don’t really see the issue. You know what you and him can afford.

Who knew giving people what they asked for for Christmas would be an issue. I also don’t think OP asked whether or not the gifts he chose were boring or not and why cares if they are, they’re not for you.

Nancydrawn · 13/12/2021 18:31

As others have said, it's less the total amount and more the kind of random smallness of it all. I think what you're reflecting on isn't that it cost £120 but that none of it feels special.

What are his interests? His hobbies? Does he like particular things to eat or drink? A piece of signed sport or music memorabilia; a nice bottle of whiskey; some hiking/football/photography/ biking/astronomy/gaming gear; a nice watch -- all of these could be purchased for £100, and you'd have £20 on the side for a tshirt or backpack.

Socks and pjs and jogging bottoms are lovely but very domestic and not particularly personal.

Cocomarine · 13/12/2021 18:31

I would never by a partner socks on a point of principe. Socks! You’re 29 not 79.

You’ve spent plenty. You know it’s fine to discuss a budget together?

peboh · 13/12/2021 18:32

My first christmas with dh (we'd been together 10 months) I only spent probably £30. Now we've been together coming up 7 years, and married for 4 and this year I think I've spent a whopping £70 on him 😅

That's more than enough!

PPCD · 13/12/2021 18:33

That's seems like way too much to me. One or two of those would be fine.

tallduckandhandsome · 13/12/2021 18:33

I think this is early in it’s better to agree how much you will spend on each other, or it could be awkward.

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 13/12/2021 18:34

Give him his presents one at a time when you can assess what he got you Grin

But why are you buying an adult clothes like his mother would?

Spottyspotladybird · 13/12/2021 18:34

Another saying that’s more than I’ve spent on my husband!

twilightermummy · 13/12/2021 18:35

Far too much. He’s not a child.

toolazytothinkofausername · 13/12/2021 18:36

@bridgeovertroubledwatrr

He doesn't like after shave and we are already going to a concert in June together and there's nothing else we fancy seeing. He won't tell me what he got me It's a surprise apparently
The surprise will be he bought you a £5 necklace from Amazon.
RachelTheRedNosedReindeer · 13/12/2021 18:37

I'd say that's a lot, but a colleague of mine was recently saying that her relatively new bf and she are spending hundreds on each other! So think it depends on what he's buying for you.