Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This isn't enough for Christmas....

290 replies

bridgeovertroubledwatrr · 13/12/2021 17:11

Strangely this is my first proper boyfriend at 29Confused
Anyway been together 7 months and I'm not sure if I have enough for him for Christmas
So far
Adidas tee
Vans tee
Adidas jogging bottoms
Backback
Pjs
Socks

Spent around £120
Do I get more bits or am I okay with that?
Don't want to come across stingy but then don't want to be ott
Is this okay ?

OP posts:
actiongirl1978 · 13/12/2021 17:36

My first Xmas with DH when we'd known each other 3 months, I bought him a luxury wool jumper, plus some manly luxury soap and something jokey.

He bought be a gift which far outweighed this plus luxury soap etc.

We moved in together 2 months later and this was 19 yrs ago.

Only you know if the relationship has the requisite distancw.

backtolifebacktoreality · 13/12/2021 17:38

It's difficult to judge.

It depends on your financial position and what you earn etc.

If you are a multi millionaire then it could be seen as stingy.

If you are unemployed it's very generous.

It's all relative!

SpaceOp · 13/12/2021 17:40

It's impossible to judge without knowing your financial situation, his financial situation and the way your relationship is developing. Having said that, it's all a bit samey-samey to me and suggests you haven't really though about it. I'd personally think that spending the same or less on more personalised items would be better.

Justwhy123 · 13/12/2021 17:41

I’ve been with my DH for over 20 years and don’t spend that much 🤣 I think as long as you are spending an equal amount on each other and it suits you, then that’s fine!

Keepitonthedownlow · 13/12/2021 17:42

Throw in a Toblerone

scarpa · 13/12/2021 17:45

That's more than enough, he's a lucky man :)

TheChosenTwo · 13/12/2021 17:47

Well 19 years ago dh and I had been going out for less than 2 weeks and he bought me a coat for £150 😂
I bought him 2 DVD’s 😂😂

Original poster
bridgeovertroubledwatrr · 13/12/2021 17:47

I asked him what he wanted and he said he would like those things (obviously not exact colours etc )
But he gave me a rough idea

OP posts:
seome1984 · 13/12/2021 17:50

What's he getting you?

NotAshamedToFancyTheGrinch · 13/12/2021 17:56

@bridgeovertroubledwatrr

I asked him what he wanted and he said he would like those things (obviously not exact colours etc ) But he gave me a rough idea
What have you asked for? I’d be a bit Hmm about a boyfriend expecting more than £100 spent on him (Unless you’re really rich.)
OhRexy · 13/12/2021 17:56

@percythewitch

I would consider all those to be "bits"

My OH does this - drives me mad.

If someone is going to spend that amount of money (which is insane in the first place IMO) then buy one nice thing within budget and a few minor extras such as chocolates/scratch cards/whatever.

I always ask which is the main present to open and my heart sinks every single time he says "it doesn't really matter what order you open them"

When someone asks what did MrWitch get you for Christmas/birthday I would love to be able to say "a lovely necklace/a beautiful book/a coveted handbag" instead of "some CDs, socks, a notebook and stuff" (the total cost of which would have bought one nice thing that I actually want).

But I am having a very bad day so just ignore my rant Xmas Blush

Why don't you tell him that you'd like one special gift you really want. I'd hope he wouldn't be offended. It might be too late for this year though.

I hate getting stuff I need for Christmas and have got sick of my husband just asking for pants and socks. We are financially ok and can buy those things when we need them!

Blossom64265 · 13/12/2021 17:59

That is more than I bought for my DH.

StoneofDestiny · 13/12/2021 18:02

I'd take some back for a refund - perhaps he meant one or two of these items - not a full re-kit!

PigeonPigPie · 13/12/2021 18:02

Too much! At 7 months I would be getting something like a thoughtful choice of book and some chocs. Even now I don't spend that much on DH!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/12/2021 18:05

That’s loads! He’d better be grateful!

Notonthenewrug · 13/12/2021 18:05

I don't spend that much on my partner of 5 years. However, as others have said- it depends on your earnings.
I told my partner last year not to buy anything. I don't want to bother this year wither, however he wants to get me something 🙄

Woosers · 13/12/2021 18:05

@PinkWaferBiscuit

£120 is a huge sum in my opinion. I honestly don't know anyone who spends that much on their significant other for Christmas, most people I know myself included just do a few small bits. Did you set a budget?
Wwle spend about 500 each
PickElaine · 13/12/2021 18:07

I agree with everyone else. Too much and much too dull.

That's stuff a Mam gets a 19 year old, not what someone gets a seven month boyfriend. Jogging bottoms!

Just because he's asked for those things doesn't mean you have to buy them. The point of buying presents is thinking about what they would like.

whitewashing · 13/12/2021 18:08

Was it a list of things where he would expect to pick only one or two things? Did he really mean you buy all of them???

Somebodylikeyew · 13/12/2021 18:08

@WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia

Do you know how much he’s going to spend on you? It’s going to be a bit awkward if he’s sitting there unwrapping half of Jd sports and all you get is a box of Quality Street.
This Grin
Funnylittlefloozie · 13/12/2021 18:08

Socks and pants are an awful present for a boyfriend, especially at this stage of the relationship where it should still be light and fun. Doesn't he have any actual interests or hobbies?

For future reference, £120 is a TON of money to spend on a boyfriend of less than a year. Did you ask him for anything in particular?

RickJames · 13/12/2021 18:08

That's the kind of things I buy my 11yr old DS! And he loves them (no school uniform here and he likes to look nice at school). Actually though, when I think about it, it's the sort of thing I buy my DH too, except I'd probably get him one or two things for the money.

I think you sound kind and sensible. It's maybe on the generous side moneywise but, from personal experience, there's nothing worse than being presented with an unexpected item of jewellery or sentimental gift that aren't to one's taste.

SunshineCake1 · 13/12/2021 18:14

I think too much for a seven month relationship too. I spent max of £150 on my dh and we've been together 26 years.

percythewitch · 13/12/2021 18:17

@OhRexy

Well TBF we don't really do big gifts anymore. £20 max Xmas Grin

...but I might still be seething about my milestone birthday this year which would have been spent on a lovely break with the kids and the grandkids and was cancelled due to covid. Ah well, there's always Christmas we said and we have just cancelled that as we all live in different countries hence the extreme grumpiness!!!!!

@bridgeovertroubledwatrr, your choices are fine - especially if he has said that is what he wants. Didn't mean to piss on your chips, just having a hard day.

toolazytothinkofausername · 13/12/2021 18:18

Make sure he isn't going to dump you after Christmas and keep the gifts.