@CSJobseeker
He spends a lot on me, as do his parents, but they give him the money. They all always tell me it’s too much. I spend Christmas with them (my parents live over 7 hours from his and I prefer his family to my dad who is not nice) and I don’t want to look like I’m using them. I grew up in a 2 bedroom house for 6 of us whilst his house has more bedrooms than people who live there on the south coast.
If I told his parents he owed me money I’d get it back within the hour from them and he’d be ripped to shreds by them for letting me pay his way. They genuinely are very good and he and his parents provide a lot of support. They would cover it before it hit the point of me having to pay interest. I appreciate this is a very privileged position to be in but I’m only in the position due to him in the first place. It wasn’t really his fault, probably more mine. I just covered full rent and expenses for 4 months and what he owed mounted up. I should have something at the start, even if I just dropped his parents a text myself. The presents budget was set aside before the debt also as gift giving is important to me and in my mind I’m technically not in debt as it’s his.. but I do know it’s legally mine.
He’s working now after being badly depressed due to lockdown (hence the shame and embarrassment aspect) and I’ve received some money each month (Well, we actually have a joint account since we rent a house and have other joint expenses which he is paid into but I add a portion each month to my personal account). He also isn’t doing a medical based degree and should have graduated (he’s younger but same year as me) now but has taken a year out. Hopefully by 2023 he’ll have a graduate job and will have paid off what he owes me whilst I finish my final year.
Also if the worst comes I have enough in my help to buy ISA to transfer it out to cover it but I’d absolutely hate to do that as it was mostly saved from birthday money (from friends, aunts, sometimes parents). I actually wasn’t terrible with money until the last few months when he’s been ill. I am young and I’m aware posters think I’m stupid and we won’t last another 4 years but I genuinely think this is just a blip (although no promises we will last, I'm absolutely aware of that). It’s been difficult seeing someone you love lose themselves when they’ve done their bit by getting medication and it just wasn’t helping despite increasing dosage etc. I didn’t want to be another source of pressure when I was already worried I’d come back from placement to find him dead. It sounds dramatic but the pandemic has taken a huge toll on pretty much everyone I know mentally.
I’m hoping by next Christmas it will have been cleared. I’ve considered ‘accidentally’ saying something at Christmas in front of his parents (e.g. “thanks for sending that across, you now owe X”). It might take the pressure off both of us.
But anyway, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t derail the thread..