Page 6 | This isn't enough for Christmas....

bridgeovertroubledwatrr · 2021-12-13T17:11:01+00:00

Strangely this is my first proper boyfriend at 29[confused] Anyway been together 7 months and I'm not sure if I have enough for him for Christmas So far Adidas tee Vans tee Adidas jogging bottoms Backback Pjs Socks Spent around £120 Do I get more bits or am I okay with that? Don't want to come across stingy but then don't want to be ott Is this okay ?

Benjispruce5 · 13/12/2021 20:16

It’s plenty.

PoshPyjamas · 13/12/2021 20:17

He's not telling you cos its a surprise is definitely code for hasn't bought it yet!

TheVolturi · 13/12/2021 20:22

This reminds me of first Xmas I spent with an ex, he went on and on about how he'd got me something really special and his mum was being weird about it too, then he gave me the present wrapped up, it was a ring box! I nearly actually died I thought he was proposing 🤦‍♀️ I don't know what my face must have looked like when I was given it. Anyway it was some earrings! Diamond ones like but still ffs the shock of almost (not) being proposed to after about 6 months was awful 😂.

Clymene · 13/12/2021 20:24

@NameChange776543

It depends how you are financially. I’m a student but I’ve bought my boyfriend an Apple Watch plus £150ish worth of other gifts. I grew up with nothing and get the full loan now so I use that and any other money I make to spoil others where I can as I couldn’t afford to when I was younger (23 now).

You're basically going into debt to buy your boyfriend presents you can't afford. Bonkers.

Fatgalslim · 13/12/2021 20:27

@NameChange776543

It depends how you are financially. I’m a student but I’ve bought my boyfriend an Apple Watch plus £150ish worth of other gifts. I grew up with nothing and get the full loan now so I use that and any other money I make to spoil others where I can as I couldn’t afford to when I was younger (23 now).

You can't afford to now if you're having to use loan money

Capricopia · 13/12/2021 20:27

That sounds fine OP - generous but not OTT.

Going forward I would agree a budget with him in advance to save yourself any uncertainty.

ConfusedAhhh · 13/12/2021 20:28

This Christmas list reads like a mum buying for her teen ds. This is excessive for a man you have only just met. He might dump you after Christmas or he might get you a shitty thoughtless gift.

ConfusedAhhh · 13/12/2021 20:36

@NameChange776543

It depends how you are financially. I’m a student but I’ve bought my boyfriend an Apple Watch plus £150ish worth of other gifts. I grew up with nothing and get the full loan now so I use that and any other money I make to spoil others where I can as I couldn’t afford to when I was younger (23 now).

Your loan is for living costs whilst you’re at university. You can’t afford these gifts if you’re relying on a loan. It’s really sad that you feel like you have to “prove” yourself by taking out a loan to buy things for your bf. How long have you been with him?

Storminamu · 13/12/2021 20:36

Why don't you give him one of the t-shirts and the back pack? That's not over the top.

ConfusedAhhh · 13/12/2021 20:37

@NameChange776543

It depends how you are financially. I’m a student but I’ve bought my boyfriend an Apple Watch plus £150ish worth of other gifts. I grew up with nothing and get the full loan now so I use that and any other money I make to spoil others where I can as I couldn’t afford to when I was younger (23 now).

Your loan is for living costs whilst you’re at university. You can’t afford these gifts if you’re relying on a loan. It’s really sad that you feel like you have to “prove” yourself by taking out a loan to buy things for your bf. How long have you been with him?

MsAgnesDiPesto · 13/12/2021 20:37

The amount of money is something that only you know if you’re comfortable with.

But there are a couple of points I’d make.

Did he really ask you to buy all that, or was it a list to choose from? He might be thinking you’ll decide on one or two items (being charitable). But if he did expect you to buy it all, then he is being very grabby and I’d be suspicious he’s taking advantage of your largesse.

The second thing is that he is a grown man, but is putting the responsibility of buying his clothes on to you. Be careful he doesn’t think of you as a mum substitute. Does he live on his own and do everything for himself? Does he take laundry to his mum’s?

What he buys you for Christmas will tell you a lot. Make sure you listen. At 7 months in, he will still be on his best behaviour, so any hints of assholery at this stage should be sending up red flags for you.

Ragwort · 13/12/2021 20:40

NameChange that's ridiculous - my DS is a student and I would be horrified if he used his student loan ( which has to be paid back ) on lavish gifts. If you don't need your maintenance loan for day-to-day living then don't accept it.

bert3400 · 13/12/2021 20:42

I've been with DH 23 years ...he gets Jack shit from me ....when you have a joint account it's all a bit

Claphands · 13/12/2021 20:44

It’s less about the money more about buy something for your lover, it looks like a list for a teenage boy, I’d return the PJs and socks at least and swap for tickets for a night out, even if you make them yourself for a meal somewhere? Something he can say ‘my GF bought me this.

Iamanicepersonreally · 13/12/2021 20:47

I think it's far too much to be honest. Maybe save half for his birthday

Lovemusic33 · 13/12/2021 20:47

It’s plenty, if anything it’s too much. I remember one of my first relationships, I spent over £100 on several nice gifts and he bought me a really cheap tacky watch 😬, I dumped him a few weeks after Christmas and wished I had saved my money.

Really, it’s only been 7 months. I’ve been casually dating someone for a year and have just spent £12 on a silly gift.

Bootsnshoes · 13/12/2021 21:03

Sounds very kind. To be fair, I've asked my husband for some running tops and socks so seems like a normal present to me. Plus, I would assume they're pj's and socks to leave at yours..

Stopsnowing · 13/12/2021 21:10

Why are you buying him clothes?

Usecoooomonsnse · 13/12/2021 21:12

@bridgeovertroubledwatrr

He doesn't like after shave and we are already going to a concert in June together and there's nothing else we fancy seeing. He won't tell me what he got me It's a surprise apparently

@bridgeovertroubledwatrr

You must come back and update us on 26th as to how got on ! 😀

nitsandwormsdodger · 13/12/2021 21:14

You should have agreed a budget
I hope he ment a couple of those thing not the whole list !
Did he then ask for your list after he gave you yours ?

Usecoooomonsnse · 13/12/2021 21:15

@NameChange776543

It depends how you are financially. I’m a student but I’ve bought my boyfriend an Apple Watch plus £150ish worth of other gifts. I grew up with nothing and get the full loan now so I use that and any other money I make to spoil others where I can as I couldn’t afford to when I was younger (23 now).

@NameChange776543

Really hope you know what you are doing. As others have commented the loan is not for buying extravagant gifts.
Do be mindful

rainyskylight · 13/12/2021 21:16

Uh. I’d have got 2-3 things max. And one of those things would have been consumable. Way overboard. You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak given he’s probably just got you one thing.

Original poster

bridgeovertroubledwatrr · 13/12/2021 21:25

He deffo isn't planning on dumping me.
He has been mentioning marriage recently.
I

OP posts:

KissedintheDark · 13/12/2021 21:27

The gifts sound fine to me, op, I don't know why people are pissing on your bonfire.

lightisnotwhite · 13/12/2021 21:29

It’s too try hard. What are you trying to say? I really love you? Look how generous I am ?
He won’t see that. What he’ll see is someone who’s a bit of a push over and over spends. They are all things that will be in a sale in a month or so.
It’s been 7 months.

I’d give him half the stuff and save the rest for birthday or year anniversary. If you don’t think they’ll be appropriate in 3 months time that tells you what you need to know.