Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
Shade17 · 12/12/2021 14:25

I’d go absolutely nuclear if I caught someone “resting” their car door on mine. There was a massive twat there alright, and it wasn’t the guy.

WombatChocolate · 12/12/2021 14:26

People park close to other cars for all kinds of reasons….they are crap at parking, someone on the other side has parked too close to them, incomsiderateness etc etc. It happens and you have to deal with it…..without damaging your own or the other persons car.

So, I think in this situation you get in the other side. It might not be comfy or easy and it might be tricky with a child, but you just do it. You don’t risk damaging the other persons car.

If I saw someone with their door open and touching my car, I too would comment. And I would probably take a photo…in case I later spot damage.

You had the door on the other side and chose not to use it, but to touch someone else’s car.

Who knows why he was parked close to you. Perhaps when he arrived, another car had parked badly on the other side and forced him to do it. That car might have since left, leaving him looking like an inconsiderate person. Who knows really. All you do know if you don’t let your car touch someone else’s.

Having a child doesn’t make it okay. People seem to justify everything with ‘my small child justifies it’ comments.

I would have been cross. I would have been cross with your reply. I would have taken a phot in case I needed to claim on your insurance later. You could have avoided it by getting in the other side.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 12/12/2021 14:26

Park like a twat and there are natural consequences..

QuestionableMouse · 12/12/2021 14:26

@endofthelinefinally

What was OP supposed to do with her 2 small children when reversing? Leave them standing in the car park and hope they stand still/don't get run over? Chuck them into the back seat unrestrained? Parking tight up against a car with a car seat clearly visible is very selfish.
Sit them in the car and pull out of the space. Much better than struggling with car doors and tiny gaps.
Rosebel · 12/12/2021 14:26

Why were you so bothered about being proved right that you went to check his parking?

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 14:27

What does she do with the toddler.

Pop them in the drivers seat or in the back unbelted for two seconds while she reverses.

QuestionableMouse · 12/12/2021 14:27

I own my car and still don't want it damaged! It's not a status symbol but marks in the paint can cause rust and I'd like it to last as long as possible.

HardbackWriter · 12/12/2021 14:28

I can't believe that multiple people have suggested that OP should have started moving her car about with the children unrestrained in it - it's a car park, there's always a chance of being hit by another car - in order to avoid a tiny chance of cosmetic damage to a bit of metal.

Prescottdanni123 · 12/12/2021 14:29

He was being unreasonable, but in that situation, when he was still there, I would have asked him to move, not leant by door against his car.

I don't think that you are entitled for expecting drivers to park in a way that takes other people into consideration though.

Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 14:29

@Rosebel

Why were you so bothered about being proved right that you went to check his parking?
Because how else am I supposed to establish if he was parked centrally?
OP posts:
Hollywolly1 · 12/12/2021 14:31

He was a major twat to park so close to you,he very easily could have moved his pile of you know what to give you some space,op be glad he's not your DH

Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 14:31

My DS would have squirmed straight off the seat in those 10 seconds I'd take to reverse my car. I appreciate that the easier and sensible thing to have done was ask him to move it given he was standing right there. Noted for next time

OP posts:
WorriedGiraffe · 12/12/2021 14:32

Because how else am I supposed to establish if he was parked centrally?

If he was parked centrally would that have made a difference to anything? You’d already done it before you checked anyway. Sounds like you did it because you were annoyed and didn’t care if his car got damaged.

Mittenmob · 12/12/2021 14:32

Next time sling your coat over the door so its not metal on metal.

Capricopia · 12/12/2021 14:34

You were both unreasonable. Him for parking like a twat and you for resting your door on his car instead of asking him to give you a bit more room.

Offcumden · 12/12/2021 14:35

YANBU.
Your post title hits the nail on the head.

Prescottdanni123 · 12/12/2021 14:35

@WombatChocolate

People park close to other cars for all kinds of reasons….they are crap at parking, someone on the other side has parked too close to them, incomsiderateness etc etc. It happens and you have to deal with it…..without damaging your own or the other persons car.

So, I think in this situation you get in the other side. It might not be comfy or easy and it might be tricky with a child, but you just do it. You don’t risk damaging the other persons car.

If I saw someone with their door open and touching my car, I too would comment. And I would probably take a photo…in case I later spot damage.

You had the door on the other side and chose not to use it, but to touch someone else’s car.

Who knows why he was parked close to you. Perhaps when he arrived, another car had parked badly on the other side and forced him to do it. That car might have since left, leaving him looking like an inconsiderate person. Who knows really. All you do know if you don’t let your car touch someone else’s.

Having a child doesn’t make it okay. People seem to justify everything with ‘my small child justifies it’ comments.

I would have been cross. I would have been cross with your reply. I would have taken a phot in case I needed to claim on your insurance later. You could have avoided it by getting in the other side.

Maybe another car had parked badly on the other side of him and then left. But he should have still moved. He is a grown man, he should have seen that she was going to struggle to get her kids in and offered to move. It was the easiest and safest option, in order for her to move she would have to either have her kids unrestrained in the backseat or leave them standing in the carpark while she reversed.

I agree, she shouldn't have touched his car with her door, but he could have shown a bit more consideration as well.

OnlyonemoresleeptilChristmas · 12/12/2021 14:35

@Kbyodjs

Well no it doesn’t make it ok. When that happens I use my hand to cushion between the two doors so it doesn’t rest on the other car. Or I climb through the other side, not perfect but I don’t think it’s ok to rest it on the other door as it can still leave a mark
^this. If I have to open my door so close to another car I also use my hand.

YABU to rest your door against another cars paintwork, regardless of how close they have parked to you.

Serendipity79 · 12/12/2021 14:35

I've recently had my door scratched by someone doing this and its so unnecessary! I was parked perfectly between the white lines in my space, a lady driver pulled up next to me, was too close but got out, tried to get her child out of the back door where she clearly didn't have room to open the door properly and I've now got to have my paintwork touched up.

I was met with a barrage of abuse when I got out of the car and asked her very politely if she would mind putting her hand between her door and mine so as not to scratch my car :( I thought most people would do what I do every single time someone is parked too close and use their hand as a barrier to make sure they don't damage someone else's car

mam0918 · 12/12/2021 14:36

was he within the lines of his bay?

If so and you damage his car you don't have a single leg to stand on legally and YOU would be totally at fault.

Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 14:38

@WorriedGiraffe

Because how else am I supposed to establish if he was parked centrally?

If he was parked centrally would that have made a difference to anything? You’d already done it before you checked anyway. Sounds like you did it because you were annoyed and didn’t care if his car got damaged.

No, that's quite vengeful, the thought didn't even come into my head. That's why I've been confused reading some of these responses - I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing to cause minimal fuss, I appreciate now that I was naive to not think that he would have a problem with it. I genuinely wasn't arsey when I approached my car and saw that it was a bit tight, I actually thought "oh that's a bit tight but they haven't done it on purpose, I should be able to squeeze in". My defences only went up when he asked me to move it, because I wasn't the person that parked inconsiderately to create that whole situation.

Thanks for the views, I will definitely bear it in mind in the future and I do appreciate now that resting on their car door is not ok for some people

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 12/12/2021 14:39

Why didn't you ask him to move a bit so you could get the door open easily? Sorry, think ywbu

Bellyups · 12/12/2021 14:41

YABU

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 14:42

@CheeseFiend36

My DS would have squirmed straight off the seat in those 10 seconds I'd take to reverse my car. I appreciate that the easier and sensible thing to have done was ask him to move it given he was standing right there. Noted for next time
And in the nicest way - if he squirmed of the seat, so what? He wouldn't have been in any danger in a locked car moving at about 2mph for 5-10 seconds.

You could then get out and strap both children in safely before driving home. No need to risk damaging anyone's paintwork at all.

brokendark · 12/12/2021 14:42

YANBU. Drivers who can't be bothered to park their cars in the centre of the bay can't complain if people can't get out of their own cars properly and need to make contact with their car.