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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
minipie · 12/12/2021 14:13

Anyone who parks right up close against another car takes the risk of this happening

He parked after you and could’ve parked further away

YANBU

DeliriaSkibbly · 12/12/2021 14:14

Why should the other driver accommodate you and not you accommodate them ?

You sound as entitled as each other. I'd have just moved my car - it's hardly a chore, is it ?

HardbackWriter · 12/12/2021 14:14

I am always surprised by how completely mental people are about cars. I think you were absolutely fine, OP, but there are lots of people who would have reacted like that man.

Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 14:14

@tallduckandhandsome

YANBU, he was an entitled dickhead, well done for answering back.

They rely on women not responding.

Yeah it did cross my mind that if it was my burly stocky DH, he wouldn't have said anything
OP posts:
HardbackWriter · 12/12/2021 14:15

@DeliriaSkibbly

Why should the other driver accommodate you and not you accommodate them ?

You sound as entitled as each other. I'd have just moved my car - it's hardly a chore, is it ?

How could she possibly have moved her car when on her own with two small children?
HugeAckmansWife · 12/12/2021 14:15

As he was right there you could have asked him to move his car a bit too. General communication better than PA twatty Ness from everyone.

EvilPea · 12/12/2021 14:15

@HardbackWriter

I am always surprised by how completely mental people are about cars. I think you were absolutely fine, OP, but there are lots of people who would have reacted like that man.
Oh well, just let me in your house and start marking something you give a shit about that will devalue it.
gagababy · 12/12/2021 14:16

What he should have done, when he saw you struggle is say:

' hold on, I can see I'm a bit close to you there. Let me reverse out and park again to give you some more space to put your child in. Sorry I didn't notice, do you mind just stepping aside while I do that. '

Although I have to say that most spaces just aren't big enough nowadays, even if you park properly! I hate it.

RussianSpy101 · 12/12/2021 14:16

@CheeseFiend36 why wouldn’t he of said anything to your husband? Just because he is stocky he has the right to put his car door on someone else’s door? Or are people so terrified of your stocky husband they would allow it 😂😂😂😂
What a bizarre comment :/

Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 14:16

The clothes thing is a good idea, thank you

OP posts:
Whammyyammy · 12/12/2021 14:17

YABVU and entitled

Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 14:18

[quote RussianSpy101]@CheeseFiend36 why wouldn’t he of said anything to your husband? Just because he is stocky he has the right to put his car door on someone else’s door? Or are people so terrified of your stocky husband they would allow it 😂😂😂😂
What a bizarre comment :/[/quote]
You must be new to Mumsnet if you don't know by now that some men aim their opinions at lone women

OP posts:
kittensinthekitchen · 12/12/2021 14:18

So was there marked bays or not?

Lalliella · 12/12/2021 14:18

YANBU. People who park like that really piss me off. Deliberately making things difficult for others. He was a dick. I’d have been tempted to whack his car with your door after he was out of sight.

kowari · 12/12/2021 14:19

And that’s what causes issues for other cars who park in the middle of the space like your supposed to!
As long as you are within your lines it's fine. If someone else needs extra space they can park theirs to one side too. If a small space is left it can just be used by someone with a small car like me.

Clevs · 12/12/2021 14:19

To be honest I would speak to someone that opened their car door onto my car as well!

WorriedGiraffe · 12/12/2021 14:19

Maybe he was about to offer to move his car when he spotted you resting your door on his car. YABU, he could have been more considerate but you were no better.

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 14:20

YABU for putting your door on his car.

I would have bundled both DC in the other side and driven back/forward a few inches, then sorted them into their seats.

Scrabblecrabapple · 12/12/2021 14:22

YABU, you sound entitled

People who park with no consideration or care of those around them are the entitled ones. They feel they can do what they want and are shocked when there is consequences to THEIR actions. I bet this is the way you behave.

endofthelinefinally · 12/12/2021 14:22

What was OP supposed to do with her 2 small children when reversing? Leave them standing in the car park and hope they stand still/don't get run over? Chuck them into the back seat unrestrained?
Parking tight up against a car with a car seat clearly visible is very selfish.

Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 14:22

@kittensinthekitchen

So was there marked bays or not?
Yes. I was in the middle of mine, I checked. He wasnt. After I had seated the kids, I went round to his right side and checked
OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 12/12/2021 14:23

@SusieBob

Why didn't you just reverse a bit and give yourself room?
What does she do with the toddler.
CovidMakesThingsHarder · 12/12/2021 14:23

@EvilPea

Sorry. Yes you are. I had a car damaged when someone did that and the getting in and out made the car go up and down so wobbled the door up and down so put specked marks that didn’t polish out.

When my cars been close I either clamber in another way or drive the car out the space and then load up.

OP YABU. This is why you don’t rest you car door on someone else’s. Ask him to move or you reverse out.
WowIlikereallyhateyou · 12/12/2021 14:23

Yabu

HardbackWriter · 12/12/2021 14:25

@Abraxan

It’s just a bloody but of painted metal.

Which will cost the owner of a car money to have fixed if it gets marked.

It currently irks me that I am having to pay money to have my paintwork touched up, caused by someone too close to me (I was def in the right on this occasion) before I can send it back without losing even more money when my new car comes this week.

Well, the problem is that you're not actually 'the owner', you're paying a load of money to rent a car that you can't actually afford. If people didn't do that with cars, if they didn't treat them as huge movable status symbols rather than practical objects, then they wouldn't have to be so paranoid about them, and the world - and car parks in particular - would be a much nicer place!