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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
Fomofo · 13/12/2021 22:20

Jobsndrama, haha, that's rich coming from some one suggesting the poster shouldn't have kids

DRA145 · 13/12/2021 22:24

@Fomofo
Honestly your posts don't make any sense. You should really consult a dictionary and look up the word "ad-hominem".
I love how I am living rent-free in your head.
Have a great day, love!

Original poster
Cheesefiend36 · 13/12/2021 22:25

@Fomofo

Jobsndrama, haha, that's rich coming from some one suggesting the poster shouldn't have kids
I just find it odd that people accuse parents of being entitled because they care about their kids welfare, but don't acknowledge that by the same token, caring about their car makes them superficial and materialistic
OP posts:
Fomofo · 13/12/2021 22:29

Dra145, I kinda thought the same about your posts, love!

Original poster
Cheesefiend36 · 13/12/2021 22:32

[quote DRA145]@Fomofo
Honestly your posts don't make any sense. You should really consult a dictionary and look up the word "ad-hominem".
I love how I am living rent-free in your head.
Have a great day, love![/quote]
Nice name change fail there @DRA145

OP posts:
rooftoplights · 13/12/2021 22:34

@Fomofo Lol you sound butt-hurt.
Channel your inner Elsa...

rooftoplights · 13/12/2021 22:36

@Fomofo Lol you sound butt-hurt.
Channel your inner Elsa...

DRA145 · 13/12/2021 22:38

@CheeseFiend36 @Cheesefiend36
Name change fail --> Same to you, my friend.
"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".
Have a great night!
I can't argue with stupid.

Drivingslowtosavefuel · 13/12/2021 22:46

I sympathise OP; this happens to me often. I have a toddler and am 7 months pregnant so no I can’t clamber through to put her in from the other side in a Mini! I always check I am in the middle of the space before I leave my car parked and don’t know why others can’t do the same

NoraEphronsNeck · 13/12/2021 23:02

You're getting a lot of nonsense about touching someone else's car but ignore it. Getting your DC safely into their car seats is more important than any perceived damage to a car.

Theremoresefulday · 13/12/2021 23:04

I don’t park on the middle in a normal space as I’m disabled and need to leave myself room to open the door as wide as possible.

sue20 · 14/12/2021 00:32

OMG it’s a car not a glass chariot. They are a vehicle to transport you around different terrains. What is it with this car preciousness? My car has a few scratches which are years old. Nothing terrible has happened no costs needed no car police pulling me over. On the other hand a child’s finger could be taken off if a door closes on it whilst struggling to get child in. The pathetic twat didn’t apparently register the space he was not allowing for a child seat. Yeah far more important there isn’t a minuscule mark (unlikely at all by sounds of it) than a child hurt. He parked second his responsibility to do so considerately. Not doing so is where entitlement shows. This preciousness about car paint drives me mad as you can tell. YANBU at all!!!

Mamanyt · 14/12/2021 00:38

I have said it before, and will say it again (many times, I'm sure), "You know, if you can't park that thing, you really shouldn't drive it."

Miisty · 14/12/2021 03:50

In a Bristol hospital car park on a hill and a lady came up to me and asked could I get in her car and drive it out of the space. I had to climb in via passenger side to do it She was not a large lady but the room for her ti open her door was size 6

SD1978 · 14/12/2021 03:58

Sorry- both unreasonable- he should have left more room, but presumably was parked (just) within the bay. You've opened the door and then leant the door against his car, and then also pushed it into his car- since there was so little space. There is a risk you dinted the or would dint the car. I'm afraid I would have done the wrangle from the other side, cursing his arseholiness the whole time, but would t have risked being had up for dinting the paintwork of his car.

Itsnotover · 14/12/2021 04:01

YANBU. I'll bet he wouldn't have squared up to you if you were a man!

DBI78 · 14/12/2021 04:06

I have done same in past it's a nightmare when people don't leave enough room. Also think parking spaces are too small tho. I drive a big car and there's often barely any room either side.

Gretaburley · 14/12/2021 04:49

Disgraceful the pp’s on here who would prioritise their car over 2 small dc’s safety.

EezyOozy · 14/12/2021 09:23

To those saying "just reverse out then put the kids in" - you haven't thought this through have you. Two toddlers cannot stand in a car park while a mum moves her car.

EezyOozy · 14/12/2021 09:28

Why wouldn’t you just chuck the kids into the back, back out a bit, and then strap them in? I’ve done it a million times

Because it's illegal ? One of the kids could have been a baby ?

Billandben444 · 14/12/2021 09:43

I love the noodle suggestion upthread! Moving on from that image, could you have draped a coat/blanket over your door when it opened so it protected his paintwork? Yes, he parked like a total idiot and no, you shouldn't mess with your children's safety but I wouldn't have wanted a set-to with him either with young kids to worry about. If the gap was that tight then the door wouldn't have just leant on his as eventually you'd have knocked into it. My new car was dinked in Sainsbury's car park 4 days after I got it and I was irrationally incensed - I pick my parking spots very carefully now and look for an end one if available. It's a shame that the soft-play place didn't have parent-friendly spaces - it would put me off going again tbh.

endofthelinefinally · 14/12/2021 11:38

If public car parks had herring bone parking like they do in USA we wouldn't have this problem. British car parks are usually badly designed.

vickyc90 · 14/12/2021 12:24

I used to open the door chuck the kid in, then get in the front and lean through the middle as we had a wide car. I would be annoyed if someone opened their car door on my car when I have an 8 year old and always managed without damaging someone else's

MabelsApron · 14/12/2021 12:40

I live near a school and watch parents, every day, parking on others' drives, parking over grass and ruining flower displays and what have you. Just so that the kids don't have to walk a short distance.

Expecting them to care about bashing another car door when it's about safety rather than simply inconvenience seems to me to be wildly optimistic.

HardbackWriter · 14/12/2021 12:53

@vickyc90

I used to open the door chuck the kid in, then get in the front and lean through the middle as we had a wide car. I would be annoyed if someone opened their car door on my car when I have an 8 year old and always managed without damaging someone else's
I don't know whether it's because we have a different car, because we have two children or a combination of both, but I don't understand how I could do this. I can't fasten the straps of either of the children in their (rear-facing) seats from the front - it isn't physically possible - and while the 3 year old can climb into his own seat if it was the 10 month old's side that I couldn't open what I am supposed to do - literally throw him into his car seat from the other side, across his brother's seat?! I'm not sure my aim is up to it...