Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
fortifiedwithtea · 12/12/2021 14:00

YANBU I don’t think you done any wrong

No way would I have compromised child safety for the sake of a neighbouring car’s paint work. People who are suggesting you leave children unsupervised to move your own car are bonkers.

blueluce85 · 12/12/2021 14:01

100% you should have just asked him to move his car given that he was still there!

Dilbertian · 12/12/2021 14:02

You were the twat, OP. Of course you should not lean your door on another car! However gentle you are you may scratch the other car. Use the other door if you can't get in by the most convenient one.

How entitled.

Whataday21 · 12/12/2021 14:03

I used to keep some clothes in the car to put between the car doors when I had 2 dc under 2.

QuestionableMouse · 12/12/2021 14:03

My car has a mark on the door from someone doing exactly that. It bugs me every time I see it. (It was parked at work and the spaces aren't very big) I think you were in the wrong for the door thing.

Bazinga007 · 12/12/2021 14:04

Yabu

Howeverdoyouneedme · 12/12/2021 14:05

I’m always leaning my car door against other cars, it doesn’t leave a mark, why would it? If someone parks their massive SUV right up against me, what am I meant to do?

MolkosTeenageAngst · 12/12/2021 14:05

Assuming you were centrally parked in your bay YANBU. Resting the door carefully on another car doesn’t cause damage. At worst I suppose it could cause a cosmetic mark but nothing that would effect the running of the car. He should have parked centrally in the bay, if he wasn’t central then it’s his own fault if others need to touch his car to enter/ exit their own sensibly parked vehicles.

LaBellina · 12/12/2021 14:07

YABU.
Potentially damaging others car whilst there are other solutions is not on.

FatBettyintheCoop · 12/12/2021 14:09

He sounds like a right twat.
It’s just a bloody but of painted metal.
Of course you weren’t being unreasonable, especially as you were parked there first.

Sirzy · 12/12/2021 14:09

@kowari

I would park close to one line in future, so you have more space on the side you have to get the toddler in. If he was within the lines then he had done nothing wrong and you shouldn't have touched his car.
And that’s what causes issues for other cars who park in the middle of the space like your supposed to!
Original poster
CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 14:09

@QuestionableMouse

My car has a mark on the door from someone doing exactly that. It bugs me every time I see it. (It was parked at work and the spaces aren't very big) I think you were in the wrong for the door thing.
So what did you expect that person to have done? Wait until you returned? Taken down the reg and gone inside to find who it belonged to?;I presume the other side would have been tight also.
OP posts:
kittensinthekitchen · 12/12/2021 14:09

His kids were already out of the car and standing with their mum

So why didn't you just wait? Confused

Are there marked bays in the car park? If so, were you both within your bays?

EvilPea · 12/12/2021 14:09

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

Make sure you bang it on the way back. Hard.
And damage your own car?
tallduckandhandsome · 12/12/2021 14:10

YANBU, he was an entitled dickhead, well done for answering back.

They rely on women not responding.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 12/12/2021 14:10

YBVU

No you can't "gently rest" your door on another persons car

AllyBama · 12/12/2021 14:10

Nah, he parked like a dick so what did he expect. If he was so concerned he could have offered to move his car. I would have done the same OP.

Onelongnight · 12/12/2021 14:10

YABU - you are at fault for using other cars as a door rest.
Sometimes contact happens but don’t do it on purpose.

tallduckandhandsome · 12/12/2021 14:10

@mumsiedarlingrevolta

YBVU

No you can't "gently rest" your door on another persons car

What else sh supposed to do?

Wait 2 hours for them to come back?

RussianSpy101 · 12/12/2021 14:10

I think YA both BU but I don’t know why you said “sorry” when you heard him the first time. He probably thought you were a bit of a twat and I would be annoyed if someone rested their car door on my car too.

EvilPea · 12/12/2021 14:10

@MolkosTeenageAngst

Assuming you were centrally parked in your bay YANBU. Resting the door carefully on another car doesn’t cause damage. At worst I suppose it could cause a cosmetic mark but nothing that would effect the running of the car. He should have parked centrally in the bay, if he wasn’t central then it’s his own fault if others need to touch his car to enter/ exit their own sensibly parked vehicles.
It can cause damage. Mines got the marks to prove it. They don’t polish out either.
MissFranKubelik · 12/12/2021 14:12

No, you were not unreasonable to lean your car door against his car - that was the only thing you could do to get your child into the car because of his own poor parking. In any case I do wonder about how people can be so obsessed with their car to the point of wanting to see others struggle.

EvilPea · 12/12/2021 14:12

@Howeverdoyouneedme

I’m always leaning my car door against other cars, it doesn’t leave a mark, why would it? If someone parks their massive SUV right up against me, what am I meant to do?
It can do. As you get in and out the car wobbles up and down so rubs on the paint
EvilPea · 12/12/2021 14:12

@Whataday21

I used to keep some clothes in the car to put between the car doors when I had 2 dc under 2.
^ This. I’d forgotten I’ve done this before
Abraxan · 12/12/2021 14:13

It’s just a bloody but of painted metal.

Which will cost the owner of a car money to have fixed if it gets marked.

It currently irks me that I am having to pay money to have my paintwork touched up, caused by someone too close to me (I was def in the right on this occasion) before I can send it back without losing even more money when my new car comes this week.