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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:

5thnonblonde · 12/12/2021 15:08

@yaldyy that’s ok with bigger kids but my youngest is still rear facing and I don’t have mr tickle arms

SexyNeckbeard · 12/12/2021 15:09

@Shade17

I’d go absolutely nuclear if I caught someone “resting” their car door on mine. There was a massive twat there alright, and it wasn’t the guy.

Then you need to mellow out its just a car

5thnonblonde · 12/12/2021 15:10

Tbh it’s softplay. He should anticipate multiple car seats. If he couldn’t find a space that allowed a car door to be opened about half a metre each side he should have kept driving if it was such a problem for him.

yaldyy · 12/12/2021 15:11

@5thnonblonde good point extremely well made

Faevern · 12/12/2021 15:12

@SoupDragon

Get a grip ffs. How do you cope when something genuinely bad happens?

Says the person who says they would slam their door into another car.

erm no I didn't, where did I say I was going to slam it? You arrived at that conclusion all by yourself. But yes, I would be less considerate when opening my door if he refused to move.

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 15:13

How can you reverse a car when you need to put kids in the car? Get them into the boot?? Ridiculous suggestion.

It's not ridiculous at all.

OP could have popped the children in the front or opened the other side and put them in the back unbelted for a few seconds. What do you think would have happened to them?

Daisyv2 · 12/12/2021 15:14

With these idiots I purposefully DON'T open the car door gently.

Etherealhedgehog · 12/12/2021 15:15

Sorry, but are all the YABU you should have moved your car people seriously suggesting she leave her toddler standing unsupervised in a carpark while she manoeuvres her car around them, so she can then get the kid in the car seat?! Love Mumsnet sometimes - it's like a little window into another batshit crazy world

Elodeastar · 12/12/2021 15:15

@fabulousathome

I think I would have gone into the soft play place and asked them to make a annoucement.

He was definitely at fault.

What would you have expected them to announce though - 'can the person who is parked within a parking space, albeit slightly to one side, please go and park exactly in the middle of the space, so that someone who is in the next space can open her door a bit wider?' I doubt that's going to go down well, seeing as you are both paying customers and you have no right to any space not within the bay you parked in!

icedcoffees · 12/12/2021 15:17

@Etherealhedgehog

No, people are saying she could have put her toddler on the front seat for a few seconds while she moved the car.

Elodeastar · 12/12/2021 15:17

@WombatChocolate

Have none of you ever parked close to another car, because the person on the other side has already parked poorly?

When the person returns they will think YOU are the bad and inconsiderate parker.

Don t assume everyone who parks close to another car is a useless parker or selfish or deserves to have their car damaged. It’s often a knock-on consequence of OTHER people parking g poorly or badly designed car parks which dont allow people to park and give others lots of room.

This is very valid - I hate if I have to park slightly off centre, but in busy car parks you are sometimes forced to!

limitedperiodonly · 12/12/2021 15:17

@CheeseFiend36 You know when you gently opened your door on his car and he asked you not to do that and you said you had no option because there wasn't enough room for your son to get in and he walked off muttering something sarcastic that he might not have said if your husband was there?

Did anything else happen?

FlaviaAlbiaWantsLangClegBack · 12/12/2021 15:17

YANBU
If you park close to a car with car seat at soft play then you’ve got to expect things like this. No one in their right mind would seriously consider the alternative of leaving toddlers loose in a car park while you reverse so I assume the posters who say they would are being argumentative for the sake of it…

SexyNeckbeard · 12/12/2021 15:17

So the op pops her kids unrestrained in the back and gets out to strap them in - except now her car is blocking the car park because its poking out of the space. Or she leaves a toddler on the pavement while she manoueveres or she grows elastigirl arms to strap them in from the front.

OP could you consider a roof rack for your children so you never have to open any doors and risk touching anyone else's precious car ever again?

I would have done exactly what you did - can't stand people that are so precious about tiny little dings

JetRocket · 12/12/2021 15:18

The entitled p* are those who park right over to the left so they have loads of space to get out of their car but then get irritated when their passenger side gets bumps and scrapes from the drivers they’ve totally blocked off from accessing their vehicles.

How do you expect the person next to you to get Into their car? It might not be ‘right’ but you know it’s going to happen so if you park right over to the left then you fully deserve a massive dent in your passenger door.

It’s always precious w* cars too. Fancy BMW or Audi are the usual culprits. Park in the middle of your space FFS.

minipie · 12/12/2021 15:23

Sorry but no way would I be trying to reverse out of a tight space with an unrestrained toddler and child in the back, that’s a recipe for disaster!

Original poster

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 15:23

[quote limitedperiodonly]@CheeseFiend36 You know when you gently opened your door on his car and he asked you not to do that and you said you had no option because there wasn't enough room for your son to get in and he walked off muttering something sarcastic that he might not have said if your husband was there?

Did anything else happen?[/quote]
No nothing else, he went inside.

OP posts:

JetRocket · 12/12/2021 15:24

Maybe they should have a special parking area for these people.
Parent child
Disabled
T**ts

That way people who need 1m+ to exit their driver side and those who drive massive land rovers/jeeps far to large for normal spaces but almost certainly live in terraced houses can park away from the normal people and stop using the parent child spaces

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 12/12/2021 15:25

Resting your door on someone's car is a big no-no.
Why couldn't you use the other side?

I do agree sometimes people's parking isn't perfect, but damaging the other's car is not the answer.
When I had situations like this I'd open the door slightly, let the kids climb in, then get in and lean back and fasten everyone in.
Luckily they clamber in now and put their own seatbelts on.

Never hit someone's car.

Fomofo · 12/12/2021 15:27

People who get arsey about their cars being touched are arse holes

Flygirl94 · 12/12/2021 15:30

No YANBU I’ve got 2 very young children and would’ve done the same thing
Their safety is more important than absolutely anything and getting them strapped in their car seats on both sides is no small task even when I’ve plenty of room

Ariann · 12/12/2021 15:32

Yes, YABU. You are being bloody minded. You shouldn't have rested your door on his car, no.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 12/12/2021 15:33

just singing the thread title to my self to the tune of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer

SeasonFinale · 12/12/2021 15:34

YABU because if he was doing there you could have asked if he minded pulling it out to allow you access assuming you weren't able ro lave your kids in safety so you could move out kf the space to put them in.

Soontobe60 · 12/12/2021 15:35

@SusieBob

Why didn't you just reverse a bit and give yourself room?

And how exactly was she supposed to do this?

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