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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
Italiandreams · 13/12/2021 18:17

I've never seen parent and child parking at soft play because everyone would need them! I've also taken the car seat out before and been unable to get it in on either side and I don't have a big car!

I would never drive with a baby and toddler not strapped in, not even a few metres ( which would then surely leave you pretty vulnerable in the car park too !) There is no ideal solution, but I'm afraid my children's safety would come out top ( I have said that I would have asked the man to move first- but the fact that he commented suggested he knew the OP was struggling, not sure why he wouldn't have offered to help rather than make a comment) .

Lokdok · 13/12/2021 18:18

YABU!!!

Insertcreativenamehere · 13/12/2021 18:28

You shouldn’t ‘rest’ your door on his car!! Even a small movement of your child struggling or you secure straps would cause damage. I would have been annoyed too.

SirChenjins · 13/12/2021 18:32

So move your car - job done.

Hertsgirl10 · 13/12/2021 18:46

[quote tallduckandhandsome]@Hertsgirl10

Why do people ask if they was being unreasonable then snap at people that day yes 😂

Where has OP snapped at anyone?

And OP is not being unreasonable.[/quote]
@tallduckandhandsome

In her replies to anyone that says she’s being unreasonable, why ask if she’s so certain she’s not?

And yes she was and so was he, but she had a lot of options other than resting the car door on his car, she didn’t want to though.

FontSnob · 13/12/2021 18:48

Yanbu.

MarmitesMyMate · 13/12/2021 18:49

Yanbu.

No you shouldn't move your car leaving 2 young dcs in the car park. They could run behind you! Or elsewhere.

I've had it before when I'm within a space. And some dick has parked over the line into mine. Bearing in mind this was a parent bay so they were also over the hatched lines that are next to the bays. I've struggled to get the carry car seat in. Couldn't go via other door as another car seat and I was the end bay against a low wall. .. I opened the door against their car. And had to put a fair amount of pressure against it to squeeze the car seat through.
I would have loved for the driver to come out at that moment as I'd of torn him/her a new Asshole.
And before anyone says I could have waited for the driver to return. No I couldn't. Because it could have been 10 min or 3 hours!

DramaLlllama · 13/12/2021 18:50

I’m sorry but I think yabu. I had similar done to my car. Dented the door. Cost me £400 to fix it. Difference is I would never knowlingly park close to another car where there was not enough room for the other car to open their doors. I park right over the far side of the car park for this very reason!

Tigger1895 · 13/12/2021 18:55

@SusieBob

Why didn't you just reverse a bit and give yourself room?
What, and leave the toddler standing there whilst she did?
MarmeladeKing · 13/12/2021 19:08

Wow!! The responses on this thread are amazing...there's some incredibly entitled people around! If I parked too close to another car I would fully expect to come back and find my car scratched or dented. If you park too close to me then don't expect me to faff around excessively trying to protect your car from your idiocy / incompetence / wankiness.

ChubbyMoomin · 13/12/2021 19:09

YANBU!!
People get so bloody precious about their cars. He could have offered to help rather than having a go, twat.

PurpleIndigoViolet · 13/12/2021 19:14

I think you were being extremely reasonable! I just don’t get this preciousness some people have over their cars. Cars are made to be out and about and occasionally this means someone or their car comes into contact with your car.

He needs to get over himself, and maybe consider getting a cheaper car if he gets so anxious when his car is touched. Or at the very least rethink how close he parks to other cars.

Genzymoo · 13/12/2021 19:15

Absolutely not being unreasonable. He parked like a d1ck..

I've had similar problems and had to work out whether I leave my two young children outside the car whilst I pull forward, or rest my door on the other person's car. Toddlers standing next to moving vehicles is always a terrible idea, so I have always rested my door on their car.

If they can't be bothered to think about others when they park their cars (especially at places like soft play when they should expect people needing to get children in and out of the car) they risk getting bashed.

eastegg · 13/12/2021 19:17

@mumsiedarlingrevolta

YBVU

No you can't "gently rest" your door on another persons car

Why not? This sort of contact causes no damage. And I imagine happens all the time in tight car parks with the ‘victim’ being none the wiser because there is absolutely no harm done.
eastegg · 13/12/2021 19:23

@Insertcreativenamehere

You shouldn’t ‘rest’ your door on his car!! Even a small movement of your child struggling or you secure straps would cause damage. I would have been annoyed too.
But by the same token you could say that opening her door in a way that didn’t touch the other car would be just as bad, because the unexpected jiggle you mention would be just as likely to happen and cause her door to make contact, given that the other car was parked too close.
Mummabug18 · 13/12/2021 19:51

He spoke to you politely, was entitled to make this request and didn't push it, he walked away and ignored you when you made a scene shouting at him.

No, you were NBU to gently lean your door against his but you were definitely BU to to cause a scene. What you should've done was politely point out that it was his own fault when he first asked you to stop. The "I've done it gently" was weak and you only got a backbone when he had turned away because he mocked you. All in all, not a very productive encounter or a great example to kids, is it?

GrabbyAbbie · 13/12/2021 19:57

Why shouldn't people value their cars... bizarre thing to say!

PurpleIndigoViolet · 13/12/2021 20:02

@GrabbyAbbie To me a car is there to be used, and is in the same category as a pair of shoes or handbag. While I obviously wouldn’t set out to damage mine or someone else’s shoes or bag, wear and tear is an inevitable part of life. Expecting a car to remain pristine seems odd to me.

Mumofsons87 · 13/12/2021 20:09

And what leave the toddler in the carpark to get mowed down or in hysterics as they think mum drives away.

Mumofsons87 · 13/12/2021 20:12

Absolutely. I'd have walloped it after he said that.

GucciM · 13/12/2021 20:13

YANBU
Can't stand when people do this, how are you supposed to move your car whilst leaving 2 children on the side, anything can happen. If you don't want someone to rest their door on your car then move over! People think they are so entitled... er it's just a car FFS get over yourself.

GrabbyAbbie · 13/12/2021 20:15

What about people that lease and it needs to go back in a pristine state or you pay hefty charges, some people look after their cars and they are their pride and joy.
I must admit I am not one of those people but if people value their expensive possessions there isn't anything wrong with that.

tallduckandhandsome · 13/12/2021 20:16

@Hertsgirl10

In her replies to anyone that says she’s being unreasonable, why ask if she’s so certain she’s not?

This doesn't make any sense. You have zero examples of OP 'snapping' at anyone. On the contrary she has told people who have disagreed with her that she respects their opinion.

And yes she was and so was he, but she had a lot of options other than resting the car door on his car, she didn’t want to though.

What options did she have that didn't involve compromising her own kids' safety for the sake of a badly parked dickhead's car?

tallduckandhandsome · 13/12/2021 20:16

@GrabbyAbbie

What about people that lease and it needs to go back in a pristine state or you pay hefty charges, some people look after their cars and they are their pride and joy. I must admit I am not one of those people but if people value their expensive possessions there isn't anything wrong with that.
Then they need to not park like cunts.
JobsNDrama · 13/12/2021 20:18

@CheeseFiend36 Honestly your post reeks of entitlement.
Regardless of how he was parking, you have no right to intentionally cause damage to someone else's car. Resting your car door on theirs can lead to paint scratching.

If you (or your stupid burly husband) had done that to my vehicle, all hell would have broken out.

The world does not revolve around you and your offspring.