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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twat at the softplay car park

413 replies

CheeseFiend36 · 12/12/2021 13:36

Leaving soft play this morning and walking towards our car. A family had parked next to us and were getting ready to go in. Their car was parked really close to my right side which is where toddler DS's car seat is. I opened his door really gently but couldn't open it wide enough to get him in without making some contact with their car, so I rested it on their left side passenger door and I made sure I did it softly, even then it was still tight. Man from the family comes up behind me while I was strapping DS in and says "please can you take your door off my car". I turned around and politely asked "sorry?", He repeated it. I said "I've done it gently", he then started walking off and said sarcastically "oh that makes it ok then", I said loudly back "well if you gave me some space I wouldn't have had to", which he ignored

Was I being unreasonable to have leaned my car door against his so that I had some space to put my child in? I wasn't tutting or being arsey or anything, but I'm not sure what he expected me to do

OP posts:
NigellaSeed · 13/12/2021 20:19

Yanbu. You didn't damage his car, and he's learned how not to park.

RaPumPumPumPum · 13/12/2021 20:19

TBH I’d have made my toddler climb over from the other side and leaned over to strap them in. I wouldn’t ever have ‘leaned’ my car door against someone else’s

GrabbyAbbie · 13/12/2021 20:37

Park like cunts... I'm sure he was in the lines!

Pigeoninthehouse · 13/12/2021 20:47

[quote JobsNDrama]@CheeseFiend36 Honestly your post reeks of entitlement.
Regardless of how he was parking, you have no right to intentionally cause damage to someone else's car. Resting your car door on theirs can lead to paint scratching.

If you (or your stupid burly husband) had done that to my vehicle, all hell would have broken out.

The world does not revolve around you and your offspring.[/quote]
There was no intention to damage the car. The op was trying to load her children ino the car.
Takes a special kind of twat, to notice how badly they have parked, observe someone struggling as a result and have a go.
If you're that bothered about your car, park it with consideration for other people using the car park. Not difficult. (if it is, you should hand your driving licence in)

cherish123 · 13/12/2021 20:56

I would say YABU. I would be annoyed if someone opened their car door (even gently) touching my car. This once happened to me. Car parked on same side as DC's car seat. I had to crawl across and put him in his car seat that way. It's awkward but better than scratching someone else's car.

nannykatherine · 13/12/2021 21:02

@SusieBob

Why didn't you just reverse a bit and give yourself room?
Because she has a baby to put in the car Where do you put the baby while you are reversing 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️
nannykatherine · 13/12/2021 21:02

@SusieBob

Why didn't you just reverse a bit and give yourself room?
Because she has a baby to put in the car Where do you put the baby while you are reversing 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️
Poppedbubbles · 13/12/2021 21:10

If everyone parked ther wheels on one side ie left or right (has to be one or the other) we would all have ample room either side. They should make that a public announcement!!
Not useful to your situation but it is useful for future 😉

Poppedbubbles · 13/12/2021 21:18

Example

Twat at the softplay car park
Maximum71 · 13/12/2021 21:23

@CheeseFiend36
Omg- so many trolls out to get you!
Kids safety come before cars ..!
X

GenerallyVeryUnreasonable · 13/12/2021 21:28

YANBU. He’s a wanker and should know better than to park like that at a place where people are likely to need to get kids in the back.

Can’t stand these men people who think their car is the most precious thing on earth and should be treated as an extension of their penis being.

Littlemissamy · 13/12/2021 21:28

Why wouldn’t you just chuck the kids into the back, back out a bit, and then strap them in? I’ve done it a million times 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fomofo · 13/12/2021 21:36

Jobsndrama, please don't get behind the wheel of a car with that temper

Fomofo · 13/12/2021 21:37

Why are people so precious about cars

TravelDreamLife · 13/12/2021 21:41

A tip: cut a 30-40cm section of a pool noodle and slice it 2/3 of the way through along the length. Place the sliced bit over the edge of your door & rest that gently on the other car. This holds it in place.

You can open your door all the way & not worry about damage. The one time an owner has seen me do it they went from ready to be abusive to telling me how awesome it was & thanking me for the consideration & idea.

I had someone do the open door onto my car while I was in it.... I jumped out & said do you mind? She said 'couldn't be helped' & walked away. It still marked my car. She had an empty park on the other side to get her older, able to crawl across to the other side kids out tho & I was parked in the middle. She just had a huge 4wd.

Original poster
Cheesefiend36 · 13/12/2021 21:52

[quote JobsNDrama]@CheeseFiend36 Honestly your post reeks of entitlement.
Regardless of how he was parking, you have no right to intentionally cause damage to someone else's car. Resting your car door on theirs can lead to paint scratching.

If you (or your stupid burly husband) had done that to my vehicle, all hell would have broken out.

The world does not revolve around you and your offspring.[/quote]
It revolves more around a child then it does a poxy lump of metal with wheels

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheesefiend36 · 13/12/2021 21:53

[quote Maximum71]@CheeseFiend36
Omg- so many trolls out to get you!
Kids safety come before cars ..!
X[/quote]
I thought the thread had died a death yesterday 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheesefiend36 · 13/12/2021 22:04

@Mummabug18

He spoke to you politely, was entitled to make this request and didn't push it, he walked away and ignored you when you made a scene shouting at him.

No, you were NBU to gently lean your door against his but you were definitely BU to to cause a scene. What you should've done was politely point out that it was his own fault when he first asked you to stop. The "I've done it gently" was weak and you only got a backbone when he had turned away because he mocked you. All in all, not a very productive encounter or a great example to kids, is it?

So what in your view would be "having a backbone" - effing and blinding? He was walking off when he made his sarky comment so he was hardly Billy Big Balls himself. So brave
OP posts:
JobsNDrama · 13/12/2021 22:04

@Pigeoninthehouse @CheeseFiend36

Your post is an example of why mothers who drive are often viewed as entitled. I live just across a primary school and the only twats we see around here are mothers parking illegally on people's drives, zig-zag lines, on pavements...

So please excuse me if I actually manage to have some sympathy with the other driver (given that he was parked legally).

The other driver is perfectly entitled to park how he wants as long as he is parked between the white lines.

Yes it’s annoying when people park too close to others, but there may be good reasons why.

I am sorry that you and people like the OP think the world ought to revolve around them and their children.

There is also no indication that the other driver would not have assisted had the OP asked him to do so. She was behaving inappropriately.

I suggest that if you cannot load your offspring safely into a car without damaging other people’s property (e.g. by using the other door) you do us all a favour and stay home.

Otherwise kindly stay childless - such entitlement is often passed onto children.

SirChenjins · 13/12/2021 22:06

🙄

Fomofo · 13/12/2021 22:08

Jobsndrama, please stay away from cars, I find such anger passes on to driving habits

Original poster
Cheesefiend36 · 13/12/2021 22:09

@DramaLlllama

I’m sorry but I think yabu. I had similar done to my car. Dented the door. Cost me £400 to fix it. Difference is I would never knowlingly park close to another car where there was not enough room for the other car to open their doors. I park right over the far side of the car park for this very reason!
That is really unfortunate and there is absolutely no way I would do it intentionally, genuinely didn't think it could cause damage as I controlled the pace at which the door moved and the force to his car - but I do understand that people have had bad experiences of this and I will ensure I use some of the tips I've read on this thread.

To the other pp, there are no mother/baby parking spaces. The soft play is in a converted church, only 12 or so spaces available, but plenty of parking available on the road

OP posts:
JobsNDrama · 13/12/2021 22:12

@Fomofo
Funny how all of your posts are ad-hominem attacks.
Can't argue with stupid I suppose.
Have a great day.

Fomofo · 13/12/2021 22:14

I'd rather have a dent than spend £400,

Original poster
Cheesefiend36 · 13/12/2021 22:16

[quote JobsNDrama]**@Pigeoninthehouse* @CheeseFiend36*

Your post is an example of why mothers who drive are often viewed as entitled. I live just across a primary school and the only twats we see around here are mothers parking illegally on people's drives, zig-zag lines, on pavements...

So please excuse me if I actually manage to have some sympathy with the other driver (given that he was parked legally).

The other driver is perfectly entitled to park how he wants as long as he is parked between the white lines.

Yes it’s annoying when people park too close to others, but there may be good reasons why.

I am sorry that you and people like the OP think the world ought to revolve around them and their children.

There is also no indication that the other driver would not have assisted had the OP asked him to do so. She was behaving inappropriately.

I suggest that if you cannot load your offspring safely into a car without damaging other people’s property (e.g. by using the other door) you do us all a favour and stay home.

Otherwise kindly stay childless - such entitlement is often passed onto children.[/quote]
He was parked legally yes, but I didn't break any laws either. What I did wasn't considerate in your eyes. What he did wasn't considerate in mine. Doesn't make me entitled and it doesn't mean I think the world revolves around my children. Bloody hell, there's been times my kids needs have been down the list because I've tried to accommodate other people. You must have not seen my message where I relayed what thoughts were going through my mind when I saw the lack of space , I didn't think "twat what's he parked so close for the tosser", I actually thought "that's a bit close but it should be ok and he's probably not realised, I won't say anything as I don't want to cause a fuss" - so don't sit there and assume that we all walk around looking for arguments thinking our needs trump somebody else's

OP posts: