Why does it take men so long to take a dump?

[Justheretoaskaquestion91]

Went to run an errand. Came back and standing in the rain knocking on door as I didn’t take my key. DH messages me “sorry, on the loo”. Can hear the children crying and running amok. Have been standing here for 10 mins now, raging. If you need to shit, surely you just do it, wipe, flush, wash your hands?!?! Women never seem to take this long - it seems utterly self indulgent and drives me mad 🤬💩 (should be an angry poo emoji)

This is a weird one. Women and men clearly poo in very different ways. I think for most women it's much the same experience as doing a wee.
I think the reasons might all have been covered here: different muscles that lead to a different "technique" which leads to different toilet behaviour, involving phones and newspapers etc.
The interesting thing though is how this difference isn't widely recognised. I remember Gillian McKeith used to send people into the loo to produce a stool sample. I don't think women can magic up a poo on demand whereas men will just sit there and eventually perform.
I reckon it's not referred to because as usual men's habits are treated as the default. We live in a world where people only take a couple of minutes to poo. But 49% of people are crap (pun intended) at defecating in a reasonable manner. They get away with acting like this is normal and reasonable just because they're men.

And what's the story with men announcing that they're going for a shit and then commenting on the experience afterwards? I think it has some kind of physical and psychological impact on them, maybe something to do with the prostate and worrying that they are gay if it feels good to poo .
If women behaved like this about a bodily functions it would be categorised with hysteria, immaturity, sexual hangups and all kinds of perjorative explanations. So how do men get away with this weird behaviour, sometimes multiple times a day? It's a real illustration of how men's experience are the standard and women's experiences are irrelevant deviations.

Now I really need to get back to sleep and stop fretting about men's bowel habits

Men admit in here it’s so they can check out if parenting/family life.

Be nice if they could return the favour

www.livescience.com/amp/why-men-take-longer-to-poop.html

This thread makes
Me very glad I'm a lesbian 😂😂😂

Men have a G-spot on their prostrate gland, and poo rubs against it on its way out. This is why taking a dump is a much more pleasurable exercise for men than for women, and they enjoy taking time at it. Some men, especially when slightly constipated, can even experience an orgasm during defecation. Some of my male friends were astounded that women didn't find pooing "pleasurable".

Do you actually believe this?

Also before any family outing. Kids dogs car packed he goes in for a long toilet.

Or that thing where women can kneel and lean over forwards without losing their balance whereas men usually can't.

🤯

My husband is like this! We lived with a (male) friend for a bit who used to joke about starting a YouTube channel of things he could achieve while my husband took his daily shit. Obviously can't speak for everyone but it can't just be to escape from family life for everyone as my husband has always been like this, even when it was just the two of us and we had a big house and I would be busy doing other things in other rooms from him. Also for people who seem to spend time hanging about public places waiting for their partner to get out the toilet, I know not always possible but don't hang about for them. Really irks me how people can be inconsiderate of others time like that (even if this is a genuine problem I wouldn't expect my husband to forever hang out outside a toilet for me). If my husband ever does this I carry on with my day, going home if I want because my time is valuable, he can catch up. Or like others say he could eat more fibre, drink more water, take a look at his weird habit!

@justasking111

I love that idea

My husband, before embarking on every journey long or short, looks at me with a sort of haunted look and wonders aloud that he ‘thinks he might have to go’ while en route, as if the poo might just fall out his arse on the 15minute walk to Waitrose.

"I find the theory that women push and men use gravity, an interesting one."

Both my husband & son reckon that they don't push.

I go when I feel the need to, but usually need to offer some assistance!

Perhaps I should leave it until I'm desperate & see if it just falls out!

I'm sure I read somewhere that if you sit down& nothing happens in 5(?) mins, leave it & try again later!

I do wonder if some men go by time rather than an actual feeling of needing to go!

he's never been aware of me "taking a shit" and I told him that is because I treat it like the bodily function it is and not as a luxury mini break

I honestly don't know what the answer is, but my experience has been a physiological change with age. I didn't take long when I was younger. I can still be quick sometimes, but more often I have to sit there for an extended period, knowing I'm still uncomfortable and there's more to come, but unable to force the pace.

In my case the poo actually quite often does fall out on the 15 minute walk back from Waitrose, anyway. It's a pain in the proverbial. I need to plan better.

I find taking a poo pleasurable too. It just feels good and natural and like our body is working the way it is meant to.

Also clearing out waste from our body is going to feel good isn't it? We are getting rid of a waste product. It is a good thing.

It definitely feels good to me to poo. That is why I like to take my time doing it and to create the right atmosphere to do it aswell. So I like the door locked, to be totally alone, to have slippers on, and to have something to read.

It is a natural part of life and it should be enjoyed

@Mufasa1118

Do you have children?

I thought this was only my DH- he even goes prepared with the iPad watching at least 2 eps of Castle (the TV show). I often tell him the wrong time for events so we can allow for the 1hr poo fest

Cos they take their phones and they can scroll away in a locked room and “switch off” for however TF long

Men are happy anywhere women and children ant get to them in my experience - so they can do things we don't approve of, and dodge their responsibilities - he shouldn't be in there if there are small children in the house

All I can say to all you sufferers is LTBs now because, believe me, as they get older it gets worse. Wherever we go, he needs the loo. It can be five minutes after leaving a cafe where I could have sat waiting in comfort. Instead, I'm left standing outside some grotty public toilets wondering, after 15 minutes, whether I should ask someone to check he's OK. When he finally emerges with a satisfied smile on his face he can't understand why I'm complaining.

I'm male.

Using the lavatory is a form of meditation for us men. It is a moment of calm, uninterrupted quiet in an otherwise hectic world.

I (and my friends who I have consulted in the past about it) use it as a period of reflection and thought, and would thank everyone not to interrupt me on it.

That, and reading the latest sports results.

I've just read the attached article and seen "the need to use fingers to evacuate".

Do some people need to reach in there and help? This has raised more questions than answers

This is a real problem in our single loo household 😡 DH takes on average, about 30 mins, each time. Sometimes twice a day at weekends. He swears he has to concentrate on it. I'm sure a phone goes into his bathroom with him 🤔 I admit, being a part time constipated ibs sufferer (hormonal issues) that I'm quite jealous of his 'good clear outs'. My daughter will end up knocking the bathroom door down, if he's hogging the loo.

Omg my stepdad used to do this when I was a kid.
Take the paper, his fags and a cup of tea in the toilet. Literally hours he’d be in there having a dump

Women push a poo out, men wait for it to fall.