Do you think 22 is too young to get married?

[SleepingNWeeping]

Do you?

Like the type of marriage that lasts past 45/50 (when I’ve heard other couples start getting divorced).

Is it better to have multiple relationships throughout your life for each stage of your life instead of banking on the same relationship with the same person for 40+ years?

No it's not TOO young. It's young by average age in this country, but that's different.

DH was 22 when we were married. I was 24.
We've been married for 27 years. In some ways marrying young can be easier has there is less likely to be baggage like kids and ex partners to complicate things

For me, yes. I got married at 22 and was divorced by 30.

For my parents no, they were 22 and 18 when they married 52 years ago.

I don't know. I've been with my DH since we were both 17, we're now 29. We've been married for 2 years now so actually got married at 27. So the relationship is fine but the marriage part we didn't do until 10 years in because we weren't ready for marriage much before that. We finished college, went to university and got on the career ladder. Then we moved in together and made sure that we were compatible to live together, share money and chores etc. Then 2 children in less than 2 years got in the way of the wedding!
So I'd say it's not the age but the fact that you've got to make sure you are compatible to live together first and to do that you might need to be older than 22, depending on your life choices in terms of uni, career, housing etc. It's not that you need to tick off x number of previous partners or x number of countries visited or something before you marry

At the risk of sounding cheesy - it's not exactly the same person you spend those 30+ years with.

That person evolves, thier personality changes as they grow, they enter new phases of thier life and the evolution continues.

Just talking from experience - married at 21, and it's been 15 years so far!!

It depends on the person.

I got married at 21, still very happy together 30 years later.

My parents were even younger than that, still very happy together over 50 years later.

We've been fortunate that we have grown together. Some people grow apart and I'm not sure if it's possible to know which it'll be.

My best friend from school got married at 21. At the time I thought it was too young but I was proved wrong. They are still together 20 years later.

@JuicySatsuma85 I married at 22 after university, got a mortgage at 27...and I am in London. I agree that kids would make getting a job or mortgage more difficult but I don't see how getting married makes it harder.

I married aged 21, we dated since I was 17, he died in 2011. we were married for 37 years and I miss him every day.

Not if you have children. People will pretend you can, but you can't

You can. I did. I just didn’t do those things in the usual order. 🤷‍♀️

I certainly didn't have the maturity to sustain a long term marriage at 22.

By that time I had left home, finished college, was working, was financially independent and living on mainland Europe in my own home.

I certainly didn't feel mature enough for marriage.

I think living your 20's somewhat independently are invaluable for maturity.

My advice would be to live with someone for at least two years before getting married. Don't have kids in the period though. Age is less relevant than really knowing what that person is like after the honeymoon period has worn off.

I think it would be better to get married late twenties or early thirties to be honest (but have to think about fertility too!) Which isn’t to say some people who married at 22 aren’t very happy. But there is a lot of change and maturing that happens in your twenties I think especially these days.

Now yes, back in the 60's or 70's no.

My mother had just turned 20 and my father was about to when they got married in 1970. My grandmother and grandfather were 17 when they got married in 1939, she was pg with my aunt and they were married for 64 years.

To be honest, I would never get married at all now, bearing in mind that the idea of "if it doesnt work then leave" is a thing. There is no idea of working through problems.

However if you had asked "is 22 too young to be blinded by love and then make a stupid mistake" I would say no.....it happens at all ages!

@Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco I would probably have more than 10 years of marriage with my DH by the time I have my baby. I think that is good in some ways as statistically people tend to get divorced in the first 10 years if the marriage doesn't work out.

Married at 20, husband 19, been happily married nearly 38 years.
People are different.

Married at 20. Still very happily married 23 years later.

Although of all of our friends/relatives that married around the same time, we are the only couple still together!

My mother married at 22 but those were other times. And yes, marriages lasted because the stigma of divorce was or is more stronger for that generation.

Young women these days are more likely to identify a bad relationship, talk about it and have the financial resources to leave (at least before kids are born) as they are women are more likely to be and continue to be in gainful employment.

Marrying at 22 is too young, so many experiences and opportunities missed for settling down too young as most of the people your age would be living a very different life to yours for at least another 10 years.

Depends on the individuals.
Me and DH got together when we were both 16, married at 23 and still happily together now at 62.

@GrandmasCat I married at 22 and have lived in 3 different countries. I also live in London and my life isn't that dissimilar to that of other 20 somrhtings, except that I own my flat rather than living in a flat share and I go out with my husband rather than a list of tinder dates.

Life experiences? I feel so lucky I am not in my early 20s- younger people now can't travel easily, are now WFH (so can't meet colleagues they can date), would probably go through another lockdown where they can't meet others.
I am not sure how many life experiences they are missing out on - my single friends all seem really sad throughout the pandemic hence the need to form single person bubbles.

If I hadn't married and the pandemic lasted for another 5 years with yearly lockdowns and variants, I think I would be a very sad person without my husband. Any relationships I would have formed between lockdowns would be cut short unless I wanted to move in with him. It would have made dating so hard. I actually think the pandemic popularized monogamy!

@GrandmasCat but now because I am a married woman, I think I would be able to accept 5 more years of on and off lockdowns..my parents are overseas but hopefully I can fly out in the summer to see them when restrictions are lifted. I have my husband's family in London who feel like my family. It's a better situation to be in.

I got with DH at 23 and we wanted to get married by about 6 months later and spent the next year persuading my people it wasn’t too soon (v unusual in our families/social circle). Married at 25. 1st 2 years were really tough and felt at points that would want to split. Things got better, had kids late 20s/early 30s v happy.

I would counsel my kids to be aware of the pitfalls - some people change in their 20s. But it works for other people.

@hellobunny right? Haha 20s are the best times

Me and my Husband married at 22 , still going at almost 30 yrs later .
Grew together shared lots of firsts with each other . First baby etc .
I think it's nice to grow together .