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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you think 22 is too young to get married?

211 replies

SleepingNWeeping · 10/12/2021 21:32

Do you?

Like the type of marriage that lasts past 45/50 (when I’ve heard other couples start getting divorced).

Is it better to have multiple relationships throughout your life for each stage of your life instead of banking on the same relationship with the same person for 40+ years?

OP posts:
shouldistop · 10/12/2021 21:46

Do people start getting divorced after 50 years? Confused

Goneback2school · 10/12/2021 21:47

My parents were 20 and 22 when they got married over 41 years ago. They are still going strong. It was the norm back then, nowadays there are more choices

Marvellousmadness · 10/12/2021 21:47

"Is it better to have multiple relationships throughout your life for each stage of your life"
Heck yes 😁
You date the fun one, the player, the sweet one, the selfish price, the mister right now, the lovely one. Etc etc.

Imagine going through life and only have tasted one flavour of icecream (aka menBlush)

It might be yummy... but boy are there better flavours out there Grin!!!

Your 20s is the most fun time to be alive. For very obvious reasons

You dont wanna find yourself at 40 wondering: is this it?

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 10/12/2021 21:48

@shouldistop

Do people start getting divorced after 50 years? Confused
It's becoming more common. Silver splicers I believe they're referred to.
HelloBunny · 10/12/2021 21:53

Mum met Dad at 16, married at 20. Had me at 22, sister at 23. Together more than 50 years now. Mum said that she was born to marry, very happy at how her life has turned out.

I wasn’t like that, myself. Had loads of boyfriends, casual fun, plenty of heartache too... Always enjoyed being single! Married at 40. So, it depends on the person, I suppose.

MynameisWa · 10/12/2021 21:54

No. Get married whilst you’re still full of romance and idealism and while you still fancy the pants off your significant other.

Have kids whilst you still have energy and are still relevant.

When they leave and your late 40s spend the rest of your life as you wish.

You still have 20 years to nurture your career whilst you’re experienced and wise and know more about yourself.

If I had my time again this is what I’d do instead of wasting time boozing and sleeping around.

Oneforthemoneytwo · 10/12/2021 21:54

Whilst I appreciate it can work I wouldn’t be happy if any of my children wanted to marry at 22.

HelloBunny · 10/12/2021 21:55

Marvellousmadness, ha ha... That was my life! I had a great time in my 20s... (and my 30s!)

HangingDitch · 10/12/2021 21:56

Too young for me and my general advice would be not to think seriously about marriage and settling down until you’re 30. However, each to their own, there’s no right and wrong if everyone is happy. My parents got married at 19 and 21 nearly 50 years ago and unless they’re filled with secret burning resentment seem perfectly happy.

WOTW · 10/12/2021 21:56

I got married at just turned 19.
DH and I are still happily married 12 years later!

It really does depend on the person though.

Nomorefuckstogive · 10/12/2021 21:57

Way too young.

EmpressSuiko · 10/12/2021 21:57

I’m 32, married at 22 but we’ve been together 14 years now and still going strong :)

JuicySatsuma85 · 10/12/2021 21:57

I see a lot of replies here from people saying they married in their early twenties and have been together now for 20/30/40 years.

The thing is…times have changed so much. Having a stable job and a mortgage by 22 wasn’t difficult 20/30/40 years ago. It’s nearly impossible now! It’s not so much that 22 is too young to get married. It’s just that your focus as a couple should likely be elsewhere.

SW1amp · 10/12/2021 21:57

I don’t think it’s automatically too young

But I can’t think of a single decision I made aged 22 that I stand by now (40) so I’m not sure my relationship-picking ability was at its peak then either

But for someone who has a ‘that’ll do’ sort of approach to work, career, house, relationships, it’s not always going to be a bad idea

deste · 10/12/2021 21:58

I got married at 21 and just celebrated my Golden wedding. I wouldn't want anyone else.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 10/12/2021 21:58

I married Dh in 1997 ar the age of 20 and we are still together.

Bil got married at the same age the year after and is still married.

Dsis married at 20 and it lasted 18 months. She is twice divorced.

BarryTheKestrel · 10/12/2021 21:59

I got married at 22. About to celebrate our 10th anniversary.

Yes in hindsight we were probably too young to settle down with marriage, house, kids and should have used our youth more wisely. However I think we'd still have done it all together, travelling, living more frivolously.

PaperMonster · 10/12/2021 22:01

I got married at 22. I didn’t feel it was too young. Divorced three years later as the relationship had run its course. But, to be fair, here I am 30 years later realising that, actually, I’ve always been unsuited to long term relationships. And I’d hazard a guess that there’s many in them who are in the wrong one or feel as I do. My three year marriage was no less successful than my current 14 year relationship.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/12/2021 22:01

I was married at 21 and separated 2 years later so I would not encourage anyone to do it. Statistically most people who get married at that age do not stay together, those that do are the exception rather than the norm.

And people saying they got married at that age 20/30 years ago, times change, the world is not the same now as it was then and the average age for marriage is a lot older than it was 30 years ago. It isn't comparable.

WeAllHaveWings · 10/12/2021 22:01

At 22 a young person is not fully mature so there is an element of risk that although they may genuinely both feel fully committed they could grow apart or want different things from life within a few years.

At the end of the day though, their choice and I would wish them the best.

Barton10 · 10/12/2021 22:03

I married at 22 and got divorced at 30. I changed a lot in my 20s and he didn’t

Nevertime · 10/12/2021 22:04

I got married at 22 and was married for 30 years, until DH died.

Getting married young and staying married meant we were financially stable in our late 30s/early 40s when many of our friends were just "settling down".

RosesAndHellebores · 10/12/2021 22:04

DH and I married in our early 30s. My upbringing was wholly dysfunctional.

Our DC have had absolute stability. DS is almost 27 and his engagement will be announced in the NY. DD is 23, bf is 25. I would not be surprised if they are engaged in the next 12 months.

Funny old world.

lanthanum · 10/12/2021 22:05

My parents were 22, still going 52 years on. We were 22, still going 28 years on. They had their first child within 18 months, we waited 13 years, so differences there.

careerchangeperhaps · 10/12/2021 22:07

I'm mid-forties and have been with DH since we were 18. We got married at 30 but can't see that our relationship would be any different had we married in our early 20s (we've lived together since we were 19).

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