I work longer hours than DH who does a few hours here and there. I’m the main breadwinner. We moved recently and I was concerned re the longer commute and how I could continue to keep family life ticking along (I held the ‘mental load’ back then and was worried I wouldn’t have the energy to do it all still). DH reassured me that he’d take on more responsibility for life stuff as the change meant a drop in hours for him.
We have struggled. I still had the mental load. He didn’t really do the housework. So we now have a system. Bit better with house keeping now.
But recently, on his childcare day, when I’m working, he’s forgotten things like Xmas jumper day, Xmas school lunch for DS and said he’d order the Xmas cards DS designed at school but didn’t.
I just feel gutted for DS because he’s missed out. I don’t want to take over - it feels unfair that I still have the mental load for his days when I am at work and he may be does a couple of hours). But I can’t let this continue to happen to DS.
I feel trapped. If I take over I feel resentful. If I leave him to it this stuff happens a lot. He’s intelligent and has a good memory but he just doesn’t put thought into it and kind of drifts along. He’s great in lots of ways but this feels crap. I feel like crying for DS who is trying to fit into a new class.