To be so upset I’ve been denied leave to attend a funeral

[Purplehighlighters]

I’m quite shocked about this and really upset … not even sure why I’m posting but a bit stunned.

That's horrible. Did they say why? Are you in an industry that busy right now like retail or restaurants?

So sorry for your loss

I am so sorry. Is it an employment policy? Could you take a day's annual leave?

I'm sorry. Whose funeral? Is it a short notice date for the ceremony? Are your work usually good or bad for things like this? I'm thinking you could look to see whether there's a HR policy that might help you if it's a close family member.

Depends. Whose funeral and what is your job?

Sorry for your loss if it's anyone close.

Claim you've had a positive Covid test so can't go to work, then go to the funeral anyway. Yes it is dishonest but if your employer treats you this way, they deserve to be treated like crap too.

Claim you've had a positive Covid test so can't go to work, then go to the funeral anyway. Yes it is dishonest but if your employer treats you this way, they deserve to be treated like crap too

Not the best advice other employer will make her stay home for 10 days abs not pay her, especially bad if she relies on tips.

Most companies only provide bereavement leave for immediate family members and in laws. So you might just have to book a holiday in for the day.

Yes cant you take annual leave OP?

Impossible to say without more information!

I’m sorry for your loss.

How close were you to the person? Can’t you take annual leave or unpaid?

Are you a teacher? I know they're strict about funerals and only a limited list of who is considered close enough.

I guess it depends whose funeral it is? Can't you take a day off?

Whose funeral is it?

As others have said... depends who it is for. I'm only allowed time off for immediate family (which if they died I would prob end up on the sick with stress) Otherwise I have to put a holiday in, swap shifts, take unpaid leave etc.

Depends whose funeral it is.

I agree, entirely depends upon whose funeral it is

Depends whose funeral it is and what sort of leave they offer, and what you expect.

I mean the replies would be very different if hou are the poster who keeps posting in Bereavement about your dog. Unlikely anyone would get paid leave for a dogs funeral.

I would say it depends entirely on the job, not whose funeral it is. If it's a job like being a theatre nurse and the whole list for the day would have to be cancelled if you're not there, yes, you are being unreasonable, unless it's the funeral of somebody incredibly close. But if you work in an office and the work you miss on the day of the funeral can happily wait till the next day, no, you're not being unreasonable, regardless of whose funeral it is.

I'm sorry for your loss. If you feel you want to go to the funeral, it must be somebody you were close to, or you're close to someone like the child or partner of the deceased.

@Metallicalover

As others have said... depends who it is for. I'm only allowed time off for immediate family (which if they died I would prob end up on the sick with stress) Otherwise I have to put a holiday in, swap shifts, take unpaid leave etc.

She said she's been denied leave, not just that she's been denied compassionate leave.

OP that's really shit. Unless there was a very very good reason it would make me see my employer in a different light.

Sorry for your loss.

Most companies have a policy of leave only for immediate family (parents, siblings, child and some do grandparents too). Otherwise people could take the absolute piss and be at "funerals" every week. Every HR person has had "that" employee who has lost upward of 9 grandparents.

Can you tell us the circumstances and why you are so shocked. Did you read the conditions/policy for things like this when you took the job initially and it seems they are not following them?

This depends on a lot of things, did you want to take it as part of your holiday entitlement, did you want it as compassionate leave, how busy is your work, how vital is your work, are they usually accommodating, was it short notice?

I am sorry for your loss.

The correct course of action in this case is to phone in sick on the day of the funeral and say that you are too upset to function at work. You are emotionally devastated and can not stop crying etc.

You say you will take a day‘s leave if necessary.

You then go to the funeral.

One workplace I was at only permitted time off for a very close relative's funeral. I was refused permission for my great aunt, even though we had been a close family and my DM wanted me to go with her.

Depends entirely on the context and so without more information I have said YABU

There's a massive difference between your mother's funeral next week and great aunt Doris' who was always mean to you and who you haven't spoken to for 7 years funeral at 9am tomorrow.

Have they refused you compassionate leave, or annual leave? Because that makes a big difference. Also, what was the reason for the refusal?