To be so upset I’ve been denied leave to attend a funeral

[Purplehighlighters]

I’m quite shocked about this and really upset … not even sure why I’m posting but a bit stunned.

Purplehighlighters sorry to hear what you're going through. I work for a school as well. They will only agree to leave for funerals if it's a husband, child or siblings! To be honest if it was for a close friend, someone I thought a lot or or one of my in-laws (so glad this wasn't in when my MIL passed away), I'd have to tell them I was taking unpaid leave.

Oh, I can have five days off if DH passes away (including funeral) but no one else - my DM isn't the easiest person but for me I'd need a couple of days off as I'd be upset and have a funeral to organise.

Claim you've had a positive Covid test so can't go to work, then go to the funeral anyway. Yes it is dishonest but if your employer treats you this way, they deserve to be treated like crap too.

Do not do this. Employers have to engage with test and trace and will need a code from you, which comes from test and trace.

@Purplehighlighters

It’s one hour I need - it’s made me feel pretty shit and I feel so awful I can’t pay my respects.

You can take leave- it just won't be paid. You can ask for half day off but it will cost you half a day's pay. Read your school policy. Bit late to be asking now for tomorrow.

It sounds mean but the point of a policy is it is clear and consistent to all employees. Where I worked you would have been amazed how some staff didn't think it should apply to them. Ours said you could have paid leave of absence of up to 1 day to attend the funeral of a parent, spouse, child , grandparent, sibling or aunt or uncle. (Bereavement leave of absence was different). We had staff who would apply, not meet the requirement- eg it was a neighbour or their boyfriend's cousin - and get really angry because they were so 'devastated' at the loss and 'not being allowed to go to the funeral'. When I said they could go it just wasn't paid leave they were even more annoyed.We even offered them the leave paid if they wished to pay us back in class covers eg half a day leave to go to friend's funeral could be paid if they wished to do covers or make the time up-very few took us up on- they wanted the time off, paid and that was that, even though the policy made it clear that would not be allowed.
They took it personally but it applied to everyone - the Head when his mother died and then a friend died a couple of weeks later. He took the time for the friend's funeral but, as per policy, was not paid.

@Purplehighlighters

I know that the papers make out the unions are really powerful and militant but the best they do is agree a bland reference for you when you get managed out.

I think you need to leave this school and ignore everyone normalising this shitty behaviour (who probably also work in mental schools)

I can’t think of a SLT team worth working for who wouldn’t step into class themselves for a bloody hour for a funeral cover for a friend, or couldn’t rejig TAs or change the sports coach for then.

I don’t think we can Lulu it has to be approved by the head.

JFC. I bet you work in one of those schools that claims to be 'one big family' as well.

No wonder teachers are leaving in droves.

@Purplehighlighters

They’d just say to come in and to a LFT on site. I’m not going to do anything about it. Just upset.

That's not the official advice so I'm sure you could decline to do that, although it's not advised.

Do you have a TA who'd be able to take your class for the hour? Is that allowed? Can't the headteacher or deputy cover your class?

@Purplehighlighters

I don’t think we can Lulu it has to be approved by the head.

Look at your policy. I have never heard of a school where the policy says different- unless it is a dodgy academy.

No I know it isn’t the official advice!

@Purplehighlighters

I don’t think we can Lulu it has to be approved by the head.

The lack of pay allows them to buy the cover.

And Girlmom I’m sure you want to be helpful but theyve said no. I’m sure if they wanted a TA to cover that could be arranged but they want me teaching hence why they’ve said no.

I just want to say this is not normal for schools. Both my parents are teachers and have worked in a number of schools, never been denied leave for a funeral.

Over their now 30+ year career there have been a few funerals to attend. Fortunately funerals of friends are not regular occurances

This is shitty behaviour, and shitty management. I'm sorry OP.

I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure any leave had to be approved by the head.

Of course they sometimes have to say yes like when DC are unwell but we can’t just say we are going Christmas shopping or to watch a child’s play and have it unpaid.

It's awful and sad, but the reality is, your friend isn't family. And right now schools are on their knees staffing-wise, including ours. We had 3 teachers in for 6 classes one day last week and some of the TAs were off sick as well ... it was awful. There is no supply or cover!

No I know it isn’t normal - I’ve been teaching a long time.

@Purplehighlighters

And Girlmom I’m sure you want to be helpful but theyve said no. I’m sure if they wanted a TA to cover that could be arranged but they want me teaching hence why they’ve said no.

But they'd be more inclined to say yes if you gave them a solution that made perfect sense.

Having seen the madness at my grandson's school yesterday with all the concerts/plays/extra assemblies going on, I can kind of understand why they'd say no to an absence at this time of year. But that doesn't help you, I appreciate.

I'm sorry for your loss

Do you work for a multi academy Trust in the Midlands whose name is a film with Keanu Reeves? If so, leave now. Best thing I ever did. There are decent employers out there. My current employer would cover the lesson personally if no one else was available.

This would unfortunately be the case in my school too. It’s shit.

They'd be allowed at our school.A teacher left 40 mins early to watch her daughters nativity last week.It obviously depends on how nice the Head is.

@AppleKatie

It's sad, but pretty standard for schools.

Not standard at all in my 15 years experience as a teacher. Ime a good school would let you have it, a trickier school would make you take it unpaid but I have never heard of anyone being outright refused leave for a funeral.

Well I've been a teacher for 14 years in 4 different schools and in all of them the policy has been funerals of immediate family only, no exceptions. 'Immediate' usually includes grandparents but not any wider than that.

But they'd be more inclined to say yes if you gave them a solution that made perfect sense.

They know they could ask a TA for an hour. They know what solutions there could be. They've said no.

@ArthurTudor

*But they'd be more inclined to say yes if you gave them a solution that made perfect sense.*

They know they could ask a TA for an hour. They know what solutions there could be. They've said no.

and they'll keep saying no when people just accept it rather than saying "I've spoken with x and she/he is able to cover my lesson - would that be acceptable?"

If they say no to that they'd have to have a really good reason.

Girlmom will you please stop trying to suggest this is my fault because I haven’t come up with a solution? Apart from anything else TAs don’t really cover at secondary. You don’t understand and you might be trying to help but it’s actually not really help I want.