To think father should pay csa even if he doesn't want the baby

[Bear45]

As title says!
He wanted me to have an abortion and I've not heard off him for 3 weeks now. I'm 13 weeks, obviously it's a way off but just wondering what peoples opinions are

[quote GrannytoaUnicorn]@thatstheloveiwantiwantlove What?!?! The mother cannot 'refuse to leave the father's name off the birth certificate!' Mothers CANNOT by LAW add a father's name or anybody's name onto a birth certificate without them present to sign it! Give your head a shake[/quote]
She can if they're married

@NynaeveSedai

Why do women advocate for men being able to spunk at will then relinquish responsibility for babies they create? I literally cannot understand why any women would advocate for something so wholely bad for women and children and society in general, where the only benefit is allowing men to have risk free sex with whoever they want. What on Earth?

I wouldn't assume that everyone in the thread is a woman.

Women shouldn’t have sex if they don’t want to become pregnant/have a termination/raise a child alone without support.

Just the same for men if they don’t want to be fathers.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4372507-pregnant-with-ex-s-baby-help

I don't know if you are a troll but you already have 2 older kids whose father don't have anything to do with them? Why hadn't you talked about what you would do if you became pregnant accidentally? It wasn't exactly a ONS.

You've said your ex isn't in a good place mentally. Obviously it's going to get worse with a baby he doesn't want. Do you really think your kid is going to have the best life possible?

Yanbu.men shiuld pay.

Men can choose sex with varying levels of risk. Their choice is deciding the level of risk they accept. No condom, condom, vasectomy, vasectomy and condom, abstinence.

Women can choose what contraception they accept men using and any opt for anything further. No obligation to have an abortion.

@FriendWoes111

I dont believe the "a man agrees to a potential pregnancy when he has sex" line. It's so simplistic. It belongs in the same category as "a woman agrees to have sex when she undresses".

Why should a man have a vasectomy? Maybe he would like kids one day, just not now and not with you.

In most cases as women we have ample opportunity to stop a pregnancy if we choose. Going ahead with it when the man doesnt want it is selfish towards the kid, the man and society. I see it as the ultimate capitalistic act, in which your own wants take precedence over just about everybody else's. The man doesnt want to be a father. The child would want a father. Society doesn't want to pay for your wilfully poor financial decisions.

Some women on here seem to confuse empowerment with selfishness.

This 👍🏼

If a man gives his seed, then he knows he could have made a baby,
Guess what, condoms mostly protect men from this problem,

I think the problem is a lot of you give men too much credit, so many men sleep with multiple women and expect them to sort out their own contraception because their bodies don't bear the consequences.

My cheating ex was sleeping with me (I was on the pill) and at least one other woman with no protection. She got pregnant and I had a scare, which is when he told me about her. Does anyone seriously think it would be right for me and the however many women to be forced to have abortions while he simply walks away with no consequence?

Another question is where do you draw the line on "giving up rights"? At 6 weeks? Many women don't know yet. At 10 weeks, you're already looking at a surgical abortion. How many pregnancies can a man do this for? What about abusive men who say they want kids then reverse the decision at the last minute?

And what if she wants him on the certificate and he refuses?

I can see both sides of the argument here.
Seeing a lot of 'if the man doesn't want a baby he shouldn't have sex' .. I wonder what people think about if the circumstances were that the man was raped and the woman fell pregnant. Should he be liable for child maintenance to his rapist?

Women can't, under UK law, rape a man.

@HugeAckmansWife

tractor its not an equation ffs. If you think that a woman chooses an abortion solely on grounds of comparable pain or discomfort you havent the faintest fucking clue what you're talking about and should not be commenting. Those on this thread who see the woman's choice to abort as a simple 'she can just' are failing to factor in a whole raft of arguments and factors about what some people (not me by the way) think about ending a foetus life. In the case of a split condom, I do think both parties should be proactive about getting hold of the MAP, however so the 'problem' never really gets started.

I do know, because that was my own choice. But then again I came from a country where abortion wasn’t a choice so was very glad to have been in the U.K. where my life wouldn’t have been ruined. I’d never have had sex in my home country.

I’d also spent thousands of pounds studying in the U.K., would have to leave the country. I reckoned that the emotional fallout from throwing my whole future away would probably have been much much worse than getting rid of a bunch of cells.

As pp have said whoever thinks foetus = precious life really shouldn’t have sex. Even if a man pays CSA it’s a measly sum.

I think he should pay, yes. However, (and my knowledge may be slightly out of date, as my DS is older now) I remember having “the conversation“ with him about how, even if birth control is used, there is a small chance of a pregnancy, and how a pregnancy would effectively mean at least 18 years of his life caring for the resultant baby/child/teenager.
He didn’t believe me at first, because School PSHE lessons had given his 14-year old self the impression that all contraception was 100% reliable.
Luckily, I was able to show him studies that backed me up, but remember thinking at the time that if parents were too squeamish to talk about these issues and left them to the School, then a whole generation of boys were being misled…

@AntiEverythingToday

I can see both sides of the argument here. Seeing a lot of 'if the man doesn't want a baby he shouldn't have sex' .. I wonder what people think about if the circumstances were that the man was raped and the woman fell pregnant. Should he be liable for child maintenance to his rapist?

I am prepared to concede that if a man is restrained and his sperm is removed by force that he shouldn’t have to pay for that. However it’s in the same vain as men saying oh we can’t even say hello any more to women, I’d refer them to the YouTube video of difference between a cup of tea and consent and I think they’ll conclude that most of them actually consented to having their sperm withdrawn from them.