AIBU to have requested single sex rape crisis therapy?

[IamSarah]

My local rape crisis centre offers a dedicated support group for trans and non-binary survivors and a women's group open to anyone who identifies as a woman.

After a male (presenting as male) turned up in the women's group I requested an additional group for women who were born women. This request was turned down and I was told that group support isn't for me. AIBU?

YABU: You shouldn't need an additional, exclusive group for biological women

YANBU: Under these circumstances, a single sex group just for biological women was a reasonable request

I am so sorry that you are going through this. If you feel strong enough you might want to point out that as they have separate groups for other protected characteristic and are refusing to have a single sex group they are discriminating against you on the basis of sex and/or religion/belief

YANBU.

I've followed the previous thread you posted on. I completely agree with you and feel very strongly about this.

YANBU - I’m sorry you’re going through this and your request for a biological women group is both normal and reasonable considering the circumstances. Best wishes.

YANBU that doesn't sound inclusive. Inclusivity is about catering to different needs and opening access to all. Sorry about it.

Who the fuck is voting YABU? At least comment and explain why.

As the groups are segregated then you should definitely be able to have single sex. Then the man can sit on his own in the womxns group.

A male presenting as a male should not have been allowed in, so maybe that is the issue to raise? That is quite different from a trans woman attending a women's group, which I think is fine.

@Stompythedinosaur how is it fine? Women have a right to single sex groups. A transwoman has no capacity to understand what a woman experiences physically or emotionally when she is raped.
Also how do I tell the difference between a Transwoman and a man? Please answer this.

A biological male, no matter how he presents himself, should not be in a women’s rape crisis group. Single sex exemptions apply for this exact reason.

Stompy if a transwoman joins the group then it is a mixed sex group. There is already a trans group. So the transwoman should have gone to that

@Stompythedinosaur

A male presenting as a male should not have been allowed in, so maybe that is the issue to raise? That is quite different from a trans woman attending a women's group, which I think is fine.

So you think that a woman who has been traumatised by a person with a penis should be ok to talk about that in a support group that includes a person with a penis? And you think it's ok because they are wearing a dress??? Really??

@Stompythedinosaur

A male presenting as a male should not have been allowed in, so maybe that is the issue to raise? That is quite different from a trans woman attending a women's group, which I think is fine.

Why would you regard it as fair that a transwoman has the choice of two groups, whereas natal women only have the choice of one, and that one can be mixed sex?

@Stompythedinosaur

A male presenting as a male should not have been allowed in, so maybe that is the issue to raise? That is quite different from a trans woman attending a women's group, which I think is fine.

You think that a male bodied person should be able to access a group for female victims of sexual violence?

@stompythedinosaur do you not believe that women who have been raped by a man should be given a women only therapeutic space if they need it? A transwoman is still a man, however they identify, and in this case they clearly did not ‘pass’ as a woman,

OP, of course YANBU, I am so sorry this happened to you, and thank you for speaking up about it. None of us know when it may be us who needs a womuen only space, you are speaking up for all of us.

YANBU of course. It's great that you highlight this issue to make us more aware. I hope you find the support group and sessions very helpful

@Stompythedinosaur

A male presenting as a male should not have been allowed in, so maybe that is the issue to raise? That is quite different from a trans woman attending a women's group, which I think is fine.

The question is about provision based on single sex provision and/or mixed sex provision. So the providers would need written policy and procedures.

Can you please expand on what elements you would use to differentiate between
•a male presenting as a male who was sexually assaulted
and
• a male presenting as a woman who was sexually assaulted
when it comes to including or excluding them from groups providing support for people who were sexually assaulted?

Thanks

You already have a thread on this. Why have you started a second?

A male presenting as a male, female or as a fucking teapot should not be in a women’s rape therapy group

@AnyFucker

A male presenting as a male, female or as a fucking teapot should not be in a women’s rape therapy group

Fucking right.

How is it fine for a transwoman (a male bodied person) to attend a female only trauma/rape support group, when it is proven that males/male voices/male bodies frequently trigger and exacerbate their trauma?

There is a “non-binary” support group offered, and a “who-ever wants to say they are a woman” group - why is it not acceptable to cater for the natal female population and their wishes, too?

I cannot believe how atrociously callous it is to force survivors of rape and sexual assault to relive their trauma alongside a triggering male-bodied person.

Sarah - you are so incredibly brave, and you deserve the female centred and given support you require.

It actually is almost vomit inducing how wilfully blind people are being to this shit. Telling a rape survivor that they can’t access female only support services is fucking abhorrent.

@Stompythedinosaur

A male presenting as a male should not have been allowed in, so maybe that is the issue to raise? That is quite different from a trans woman attending a women's group, which I think is fine.

How is this different ? Please explain the difference without resorting to stereotypes such as makeup.

@AnyFucker

A male presenting as a male, female or as a fucking teapot should not be in a women’s rape therapy group

This. With massive great bells on.

I apologise if this comes out wrong but I don't have direct experience of rape crisis centres so maybe missing something, but who exactly runs them? Usually you'd only be able to claim discrimination against a business (which this might not be) for being excluded from something, rather than others being included.

What I mean is, is there a legal obligation to provide a new service (exclusively for women born as women who still identify as being women)? Usually there's a right for them to provide a service such as this where it is appropriate - but that's not the same as them being obliged to.

You already have a thread on this. Why have you started a second?
Are you really going to pick holes with a rape survivor, who’s been driven out of her therapy group, for starting two threads about it? Is that who you want to be today?

Are you honestly policing a thread posted by a victim of rape?