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To be annoyed that I've batched cooked for postpartum and DP is eating all of the food now?
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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 18:25

So me and DP are in the process of buying a house and cause of circumstances I cannot stay round his current house every night because he has a son and I need to work and can't work and be a babysitter. The new house will have an office on the third floor. I stay over only 2/3 nights a week. This weekend I have stood for hours and batch cooked lots of freezer meals for when our baby comes (I am 33 weeks pregnant, no judgement we are buying a house and will have a house by the time baby is here, there are problems with our sellers that are holding the sale up) so on the days I'm not at his he has been telling me that he and his son have been eating the food I prepared for when baby is here so most things have gone!!! Im annoyed cause I portioned the meals out for 2 so we can put them in the oven when baby is here and I don't have to stress. But he has been eating them with his son who already has a hot hearty meal at nursery. He's ate the food I spent hours preparing bare in mind I stood for hours with sciatica and an iron deficiency so constant heart palpitations when I was doing it and he was watching the football!!! Urgh please someone tell me if I'm being a hormonal monster or if you get where I'm coming from!

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hotmeatymilk · 07/12/2021 19:27

I can’t understand why the OP is getting such a hard time over this!
Stepmum + AIBU + they don’t live together yet = pile-on. This particular pile-on taking the form of random nitpicking (why his freezer? Chicken nuggets? What strange hours you keep, why?) and deliberately ignoring the actual issue. Drives me bonkers.

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MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 07/12/2021 19:28

@WorraLiberty

Indeed *@MollysDolly*

I wonder if any of the OP's recipes involve Swiss cheese...

Grin
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Deadringer · 07/12/2021 19:29

He is a lazy, selfish arse. Tell him not to fucking touch the stuff you went to the trouble of cooking for after the baby is born, and to replace the stuff he took.

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:29

@Constellationstation

Presumably your batch cooked meals will be for your first child as well?

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WonderHen · 07/12/2021 19:29

Have you specifically told him to stop eating the fucking meals you've stored for when the baby is here?

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flowersforyou · 07/12/2021 19:30

@WorraLiberty

OP, please can you say whether you've told him yet that he needs to cook and replace the meals?

Yes he's been told, he's said he will get the slow cooker out so guess that's a start!
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SunshineCake1 · 07/12/2021 19:30

@gamerchick

You have had a vision into your future life when you move in with this bloke.

Begrudging his kid food doesnt bode well for the future either.

Personally I wouldn't move in with him. I predict shit and misery all round with a baby in the mix and a small child being around a stepmum who doesn't seem to like him much.

That's just going on your post though.

Oh come on. She doesn't begrudge the stepson food. She is pissed off that she has spent hours cooking to make life easier for both new parents and the lazy arse has scoffed it all.

YANBU @catmum789 but stop with all the !!! And hormone queries. Take yourself seriously otherwise others won't.
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Summersnake · 07/12/2021 19:33

Ah op
I’m sorry you have tried hard to plan ahead ,knowing you would find things difficult with your past ED.
I’m sorry your DP ate your food ,that he knew was to sustain you after the birth of his child .
I think that is nasty of him ,knowing you had an ED and knowing you were trying to plan ahead to stop it coming back ,and he’s eaten all that food .that’s despicable
I’m afraid,he’s showing you who he is ,and what he thinks of you .
Basically him and his child will come first and they will do as they please .
I would not move in with him after this ,it’s quite obvious he is not going to put you first .
Unless he cooks and replaces all the food ,and shows he understands why he was in the wrong ….I just see a miserable future for you with him.
I’m sorry x

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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 19:34

@MollysDolly

Hang on. He's at nursery till 5, then bed at 7.

But you can't stay, because of your babysitting concerns for 2 hours of the evening, when DP is there with him anyway. With your flexible hours, youou are too restricted by only being able to work child free, the 8 hours prior, or the 3 hours after. Those 2 hours, outside of 9-5 (you might work odd hours at your choice, but others don't), when most sit down to eat anyway, mean you must stay somewhere else.

There's more to this.

I am in meetings for work on teams, not everybody has a 9-5 I work when I need to and have a reactive job which if there is a problem I have to solve it and go in to meetings where things are discussed that I don't want a child hearing.. I get paid a good salary for doing this and I'm not considering changing jobs, when I have my office it will be fine but at the moment I will have to work from DPs living room which isn't fair on anyone especially when DSS just wants to watch his Spider-Man on tv and I'll be in calls discussing quite frankly cause of my nature of work really disgusting things.
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westofnormal · 07/12/2021 19:35

I hate posts like this. You know that he is in the wrong. So why are you asking and why are you putting up with it? Also not sure what (no judgement) means.

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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 19:36

[quote Justheretoaskaquestion91]@Constellationstation

Presumably your batch cooked meals will be for your first child as well?[/quote]
I'm not sure, baby won't be eating proper food for a while so this was kind of a plan for the first few weeks after birth

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SirensofTitan · 07/12/2021 19:36

@GatoradeMeBitch

Don't do any more batch cooking. Give him the recipes, and tell him to get on with replacing it.

There is no way that he's going to do that imo

I don't want to jump to conclusions on one incident but be wary OP, he amy very well be telling you who he is so do listen out
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MollysDolly · 07/12/2021 19:36

@hotmeatymilk

I can’t understand why the OP is getting such a hard time over this!
Stepmum + AIBU + they don’t live together yet = pile-on. This particular pile-on taking the form of random nitpicking (why his freezer? Chicken nuggets? What strange hours you keep, why?) and deliberately ignoring the actual issue. Drives me bonkers.

Oh trust me. I'm the first to cut the crap on the "evil stepmother" nonsense.

The point about the hours, is that OP is avoiding the house and staying elsewhere, because a child will be around for 2 hours of the evening.

So she doesn't stay there the majority of the time, (2, maybe 3 nights, she says) because of the 2 hours this child is present. But then has spent hours there over the weekend cooking for herself, and filing up his freezer. Why not do it at hers, that's where she is 5 nights a week?

Then uproar because lazy DP who can't cook and grabs nuggets from the freezer every night, is grabbing OPs cooking instead. It's hardly the real problem.

There's more to this.
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westofnormal · 07/12/2021 19:37

Also, I know he is your husband, but it sounds like you are actually breaking the law (DPA/GDPR) by discussing your cases around him. That is actually not okay if you are discussing child welfare or whatever. Or anything health and care related. Obviously with most other jobs you could let it slide. He should not be privy to any of this.

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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 19:38

@westofnormal

I hate posts like this. You know that he is in the wrong. So why are you asking and why are you putting up with it? Also not sure what (no judgement) means.

I get told I'm hormonal all of the time and don't have any friends or family to talk to
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SirensofTitan · 07/12/2021 19:38

[quote Justheretoaskaquestion91]@Constellationstation

Presumably your batch cooked meals will be for your first child as well?[/quote]
How many meals has she made, it will be around 8 months before the yet to be born baby is weaned surely Grin

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JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 07/12/2021 19:38

My DS doesn't eat dinner at home on nursery days, wet picked him up today at 5:15 he'd just finished lasagne, salad and garlic bread (he had seconds) and banana bread and yogurt for pudding, he had porridge and fruit for breakfast, carrot sticks humous and pitta for morning snack at nursery, couscous with chicken and vegetables for lunch, apple peanut butter and cheese for afternoon snack. He's Eastern more than I have today!
OP I think you're getting a tough time and I'm not sure why, your trying to be prepared and rather than helping your DP watched football and then ate your hard work. He's a selfish dick who should cook for himself

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stayignorant · 07/12/2021 19:39

Incredibly disrespectful.. I would be fuming! If he's a decent guy though surely he'd just replace them? Does he feel guilty about it?

Also think it's idiotic to call the OP out saying she's 'begrudging' his kid.. how ridiculous.. she's not saying the kid should starve is she.. he just shouldn't be eating the meals she lovingly prepared for a time when she'll need them.. of course not his fault, your DP should have made him something else to eat. How does mumsnet always go from 0 to 100 especially where there's stepchildren involved?!

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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:39

@westofnormal

Also, I know he is your husband, but it sounds like you are actually breaking the law (DPA/GDPR) by discussing your cases around him. That is actually not okay if you are discussing child welfare or whatever. Or anything health and care related. Obviously with most other jobs you could let it slide. He should not be privy to any of this.

Isn't that exactly why she's NOT discussing it Infront of anyone?
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Bluntness100 · 07/12/2021 19:39

Op do you think he ate the food becayse he’s disgusted that you were cooking food clearly his son enjoys and just making for you and your boyfriend?

I mean now you know the child likes to ear what you cook and his father likes him to eat it too, he doesn’t want to have seperate meals?

Maybe he’s sending you a message it’s shit to cook for two out of the three of you then store it at his house and not yout own.

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westofnormal · 07/12/2021 19:40

Sorry I can't find an edit button, I don't know why I called him your husband, but even moreso if he's not even your husband. Partners still shouldn't be hearing about the children you are working with/for.

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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:41

@Bluntness100

Op do you think he ate the food becayse he’s disgusted that you were cooking food clearly his son enjoys and just making for you and your boyfriend?

I mean now you know the child likes to ear what you cook and his father likes him to eat it too, he doesn’t want to have seperate meals?

Maybe he’s sending you a message it’s shit to cook for two out of the three of you then store it at his house and not yout own.

She should send him the message back that it's shit to expect your partner to cook for YOUR child when you're such a lazy bastard you don't do it yourself. How should she communicate that?
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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:41

Justheretoaskaquestion91
@Constellationstation

Presumably your batch cooked meals will be for your first child as well?
How many meals has she made, it will be around 8 months before the yet to be born baby is weaned surely grin


THIS IS TAGGING A DIFFERENT POSTER NOT THE OP!!!! The poster is saying she is pregnant snd also batch cooking and I’m trying to highlight the fact that it’s usual to batch cook for everyone who eats in the house. If I batch cooked now for PP I would be cooking for DH, me and our two children too! I wouldn’t just cook for DH and me and give our children something else. That’s odd

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Lockheart · 07/12/2021 19:41

I still don't understand how he's eaten "most" of them given it's only been 48 hours since you made them. Those were some very small batches.

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WorriedGiraffe · 07/12/2021 19:41

@Bluntness100

Op do you think he ate the food becayse he’s disgusted that you were cooking food clearly his son enjoys and just making for you and your boyfriend?

I mean now you know the child likes to ear what you cook and his father likes him to eat it too, he doesn’t want to have seperate meals?

Maybe he’s sending you a message it’s shit to cook for two out of the three of you then store it at his house and not yout own.

This is stupid, his son is not her child, why should she cook for them both? He can cook for his own child. It’s quite normal for adults to eat a main meal after a 4 year old has gone to bed.
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