To be annoyed that I've batched cooked for postpartum and DP is eating all of the food now?

[catmum789]

So me and DP are in the process of buying a house and cause of circumstances I cannot stay round his current house every night because he has a son and I need to work and can't work and be a babysitter. The new house will have an office on the third floor. I stay over only 2/3 nights a week. This weekend I have stood for hours and batch cooked lots of freezer meals for when our baby comes (I am 33 weeks pregnant, no judgement we are buying a house and will have a house by the time baby is here, there are problems with our sellers that are holding the sale up) so on the days I'm not at his he has been telling me that he and his son have been eating the food I prepared for when baby is here so most things have gone!!! Im annoyed cause I portioned the meals out for 2 so we can put them in the oven when baby is here and I don't have to stress. But he has been eating them with his son who already has a hot hearty meal at nursery. He's ate the food I spent hours preparing bare in mind I stood for hours with sciatica and an iron deficiency so constant heart palpitations when I was doing it and he was watching the football!!! Urgh please someone tell me if I'm being a hormonal monster or if you get where I'm coming from!

Simple. Tell him to batch cook and replace everything he’s eaten. Have you asked/told him to do this yet?

If his son is at nursery, how is he then at home with you when wfh? Does he live with your partner full time?

So what has he said when you have brought this up and reminded him that you went to a great effort to batch-cook these meals and he has demolished them already?
What is he planning to do about it?

And if the kids eating rhe food then he doesn’t just want a perpperami when he comes home or the occasional chicken nuggets. He clearly likes all the stuff you’re making.

@user1471541711

Hot and hearty lol! I doubt it. You need to cook for 3 regardless. Plus a 3 year old doesn’t eat that much so the portions sound tight as well. But he can replace them

I don't think she needs to cook for three. How about the actual parent?

@FourTeaFallOut

So, did the kid eat your food or did your dp eat it all? Is he aware that he is sabotaging your plan to eat food during a time your have identified as being more vulnerable to starving yourself? How come he went from chicken nugget Dad to fresh food dad in two pages?

Also, children can and should eat a proper at dinnertime. The body is perfectly capable of processing this even if bedtime follows shortly after.

Hello,

So eg I made a chilli with chillis in so what he does is make himself a massive portion and gives DSS some but with things like garlic bread and some pasta etc (we always keep garlic bread in the freezer) I'm worried cause I put salt and spice in the food and I don't want my cooking to make him ill and then I be blamed.

He has fresh food in and he has freezer food like chips and nuggets in, nuggets are a last resort option like a quick meal you don't have to think about, we have chicken nuggets and that crap when I am there cause we will end up finishing work around 7:30pm and it just gets too late to cook things properly.

Re the last point, I didn't know that! I have always been told children shouldn't go bed on a heavy stomach and I've been told when they eat a lot before bed it can cause problems.

You have made a mistake having a child with this bloke OP, this is a little peak into your future. You will be planning, prepping and general dogs body, he will be watching the football. He fed himself and his DC the prepped meals because he's too lazy to feed his own child, and he expects you to just suck it up and do it all again this weekend like a good little kitchen appliance.

Op YANBU. He’s a selfish lazy fucking idiot. I’d buy a load of nice ready mess for one from M&S and leave him to sort himself.
Also ignore anyone trying to paint you as the wicked stepmom 🙄 that isn’t coming across from your posts at all, some people on MN are just desperate to hate stepmoms and let men off the hook.

This is basically stealing IMO.

And if the kids eating rhe food then he doesn’t just want a perpperami when he comes home or the occasional chicken nuggets. He clearly likes all the stuff you’re making.
That’s OK, then, problem solved! The issue clearly isn’t whether the kid likes the food or not, is it? Why are you focusing on that, or the fact OP is – heaven forfend! – cooking in her DP’s kitchen rather than her own? Versus the part where her DP is using all the freezer food she’s prepared for the newborn months.

@UnbeatenMum

This is basically stealing IMO.

What?!

Right so he can cook with fresh food. Great. He can replace all the meals and he can cook for the first two weeks after the birth. Have you told him he is replacing the meals?

@SpikeDearheart

Er, then he needs to batch cook to replace it then. Twat.

Quite.

Clearly your partner needs to get batch cooking to replace the meals for PP and because his son clearly likes these meals so that’s something he should focus on!

PS. What are you batch cooking? I’m 32 weeks and think my partner and I need to start 🙈

What's the obsession with why the food was stored in the partners freezer. The OP had the opportunity to cook at the weekend, presumably because she was not working, why would she take it home if there was space in her partners freezer.

It's absolute nonsense that the OP is denying her partner or his child food, the partner should be cooking for them but is choosing to make life easy for himself by capitalising on the OP's effort. If OP's partner isn't cooking now then he sure as hell isn't going to be cooking for her when the baby arrives. The OP has multiple pregnancy related problems which made the cooking an extra effort for her but posters are more sympathetic to her partner, what a fucking message to send to other women.

She has cooked in advance of giving birth because she does not know how pressed for time she will be when the baby arrives, it's really no different than anyone preparing and storing food ahead of Christmas.

OP, please can you say whether you've told him yet that he needs to cook and replace the meals?

I'm worried cause I put salt and spice in the food and I don't want my cooking to make him ill and then I be blamed.

One pepparami stick has 15% of the rda for an adult, and adults rda is 6g. A child of 3 rda is 2g. I don't know how much salt you put in your food but you'd have to be going some to be worse than a pepparami stick.

A few things:

I batch cooked for me and DP for PP because I have had anorexia and I know food won't be my priority

If you’re a family of 3 (and currently you are) and you cook a meal, you cook for 3. Maybe your DSS wants it, maybe he doesn’t. But you cook for him regardless. Batch cooking is the same. He might be there and he might want some, so he needs to have the option. He’s not some second class citizen who has to eat something else.

I am more comfortable making him separate meals with less salt and spice etc

As you will see when your own child grows as well (although hopefully beforehand with your DSS) - generally it’s easier to I just eat all together and reduce the amount of salt/spice you use.

I was not asked to make any meals for him as DP has fresh food for him

But if he often gets chicken nuggets as it’s too late this system doesn’t work

He finishes nursery at 5pm and goes sleep at 7pm, I don't think he should be having big meals just before bed he needs time for stuff like that to go down

THIS IS WRONG. Please do NOT follow this advice. Same with him having had a hot meal at nursery. In the nicest way, it sounds like your own food issues may be clouding your judgment. Children need several (ideally) warm and filling meals a day. Doesn’t matter if it’s just before bed!

Hang on. He's at nursery till 5, then bed at 7.

But you can't stay, because of your babysitting concerns for 2 hours of the evening, when DP is there with him anyway. With your flexible hours, youou are too restricted by only being able to work child free, the 8 hours prior, or the 3 hours after. Those 2 hours, outside of 9-5 (you might work odd hours at your choice, but others don't), when most sit down to eat anyway, mean you must stay somewhere else.

There's more to this.

So his son doesn't eat it when you cook it - but he does now you have cooked it and his Dad gave it to him?

Don't do any more batch cooking. Give him the recipes, and tell him to get on with replacing it.

I’m pregnant at the moment and planning on batch cooking meals for when the baby’s born, because with my first we were too busy trying to get him to stop screaming all day and all night to cook. I hardly ate anything in the first few months and got really depressed. I’d be furious if I went to the trouble of batch cooking a load of meals while heavily pregnant for someone to go and eat them all! I can’t understand why the OP is getting such a hard time over this!

When my children came home from day care, I made a picnic type healthy supper - simple wholemeal sandwiches, cherry tomatoes, grapes, yoghurt. Children are tired after a long day at day nursery. Easy nutritional food is the answer.

As fo your partner, he has behaved appallingly. I assume your freezer isn't big enough to hold lots of food? I feel your annoyance

Yes.

There’s a VERY good reason why I’m Oldtiredandfedup

Indeed @MollysDolly

I wonder if any of the OP's recipes involve Swiss cheese...