To be annoyed that I've batched cooked for postpartum and DP is eating all of the food now?

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We've been gaslighted into thinking our hormones are the problem

@mathanxiety I agree. It's sexist/dismissive.

I see this claptrap about women's hormones running wild during pregnancy all the time.

We've been gaslighted into thinking our hormones are the problem, but the only hormone running wild most of the time is testosterone, and it's responsible for most of the problems besetting our homes and our world today.

Yes! Hormones do run wild during pregnancy, which throws our emotions out of sync. As someone has already said, I honestly think that you are seeing into your future as well. I know that you said that you can't stay full time at your partner’s house, as you have to work and can't babysit, I can understand that. I also totally understand you preparing meals for after your baby is born, and you have also prepared meals in the past for your partner’s young child. Young children will rarely eat all their food regardless of how much effort you put into it. Your partner probably can't cook or can't be bothered. I think you really need to think about what you want, and what you want your future to look like. Remember you will have your own biological child, but when you start a relationship with someone who already has a child, you become their parent as well. You need to think about if you are prepared to share the responsibility of looking after your partner’s child. Our hormones do run wild, especially when we are ‘nesting’ just before we give birth. But having said that, what do you really want? That is what you need to think about. I wish you good health with the remainder of your pregnancy, the birth of your child, and post partum

The very worst of MN is out and proud in this thread.

OP - please please look after yourself. And please talk to some trusted friends/family about what you are experiencing.

And please, do not give up your job if you decide to stay.

Others have probably said this, but as the OP has had anorexia then of course it's better for her to plan/arrange meals as she has, rather than cook on the hoof.

They have to eat certain amounts (probably at certain times) it's part of what they're advised to do as part of their recovery, including used at inpatient units.

If the person cooks as required/desired without a plan, they find it easier to fall back into bad habits- this applies to those who overeat so I imagine it applies to those that undereat, too.
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Her partner is kind of evil/arseholey though and I don't think she should be with him.

He sounds rude and ignorant. Haven't read many of these updates just your OP so sorry if you've updated lots.

You have gone through the effort of making food to make all your lives easier after baby arrives and he has disregarded it.

If his child needs to eat he could make a meal for them could he not? Why does he need to be using you. You aren't his chef or the designated cook for his child. That is his responsibility.

I think it's going to be potentially tough going when baby is here OP, he has given you a glimpse into how inconsiderate he can be. You are pissed off now with this behaviour, consider how you will feel after weeks of no sleep and a small demanding and draining human to care for?! Hard words with 'D'P now or future planning for you is the best course I think.

@stayignorant she had this misfortune to mention the her DP has another child from the first family. Also she doesn't belong to the golden uterus crew which means she needs to be nailed to the wall.

The hand wringing and subtle and not so subtle digs are just how second families and SM are treated on here.

It's sad actually because she was clear about how vulnerable she is, what's she's struggling with aka DH being a hideous person, and somehow it got turned into a kick the SM and solely focused on SC eating habits.

Betting some of these people post on social media "my inbox is open if your ever struggling with MH issues" 🤮and "be kind" when they aren't actually able to practice what they preach. Virtue signally at its finest.

why would someone who gets pain from standing too long spend hours batch cooking food for a house they don’t even live in when her DP is more than capable of cooking once the baby is here and she will be able to cook without being in pain.

@WonderfulYou The reason why she's cooking now is that she's heard how knackered etc people are when they have a new baby and she thinks it will be harder after the birth than it is now, and this saves her a job after the birth. Of course it might well be harder to cook with a new LO. Makes sense to me.

She’s also brought herself a massive new grudge fridge freezer even though she moving any day now.

You pick on OP for storing stuff in her partner's freezer and then you criticize her for buying a freezer. She can't win.

Oh I missed where he said the op has to pay for the baby on her own. Op, what you really should do is PULL OUT of the house purchase and find somewhere to live immediately, where you can cook your own food without twatface eating it, you will still be paying for yourself but you can also claim cms so he will actually contribute something, and you only have one baby to look after not one baby plus one adult baby but his child. Seriously, you will be well rid of him.

He has even said to me that I will have to take all the financial responsibility for baby as he has to pay for DSS, is this normal?

Bearing in mind OP's 'partner' recently said this, people might want to reconsider their position that she is treating DSS poorly.

OP - your partner is a prick. The sheer arrogance of him saying your joint baby is solely your financial responsibility, not his, is ridiculous.

He's saying his existing son should get the support of both parents (true) but your soon to be baby should get the financial support of one parent (ridiculous).

He's an arsehole, the batch cooking is a red herring in a way as you've got much bigger issues at hand. This is indicative though of him viewing the fact your lives will soon change as your problem to deal with.

I'm actually on the floor on some of these comments.

I have the right to be completely vile to a vulnerable person on MN as is my right and stop trying to police my rights to be vile 🤯 report me knowing I haven't used any foul language so my comments remain yes yes we know what your up to 🙄 some of the op of have been sniffing glue and clearly think bullying is ok because the poor Op mentioned she has a SC.
Your not actually being helpful by derailing the thread with helpful comments such as "you clearly hate your SC" and it says more about you as a person than it does the OP.

OP it sounds like your trying to manage a ED which is truly horrific when pregnant at best of times, and trying to look after yourself and the baby. That's to be commended.

Your DH is a 🔔 end and should be replacing the food he's eaten and I would be having a stern word with him. Your not being unreasonable.

I give up. OP has asked for opinions. They differ. Some people seem to have a huge problem with that.

If the opinions had been confined to the ones asked for I don't think anyone would have an issue but the responses have detoured away from the original question.

Why was the food in DP's freezer?
Why don't you live with DP, is it to avoid his child?
Why are you begrudging a child food?
Why have you bought a big fridge freezer?
You're unreasonable to think DP wouldn't eat the food you prepared.
Your selfishness means the relationship is doomed to fail unless you take greater (than the father) parenting responsibility for a child you don't live with and isn't yours?
This doesn't add up, the child is now eating the food you said they didn't like.

And on and on and on...

Not sure why you're so invested in characterising this as some people just having different opinions. Most who seem to have strong opinions have clearly not even read the thread. Its bullying nothing more.

Perhaps one day women won't feel the need to leap to the defence of shit father's.

The bigger problem is I can’t see where the op is being looked after here. She’s pregnant, and regularly cooking for her dp, and the efforts she’s made to have healthy food for herself after birth have just been sabotaged. Why is he a good guy? When is he going to take care of the woman having his baby? Why wasn’t he hugely apologetic? Will he be cooking fresh healthy food for you when baby is born? You’re not hormonal. It wouldn’t be hormonal to cook some more and put it in the freezer with a big sign on it saying if you’re thinking of stealing food from the pregnant woman who was in pain to stand while cooking this to try and prepare for when OUR baby is born then FUCK OFF.

The OP asked Urgh please someone tell me if I'm being a hormonal monster or if you get where I'm coming from! not “please critique my stepson’s diet, give me advice on meal timings and family meal plans for a four-year-old, tell me how many portions to make to ensure my stepson is adequately fed when I’m not there, and nitpick at whose freezer I’m daring to use”. Reading is everything!

I think people are trying to prevent a pile-on a woman who has struggled with anorexia in the past and who is actively trying to prevent falling back into it.

I give up. OP has asked for opinions. They differ. Some people seem to have a huge problem with that.

The thing is @Viviennemary no one’s breaking talk guidelines so there’s nothing to report, no name calling or trolling; the key posters know exactly what they’re doing (and it’s the same old names) with their faux-concern, head-tilty confusion over which freezer, pretend “I mean this gently” advice on feeding her stepson, etc etc. It’s a velvet-gloved attack designed to elude moderation.

And no one here is policing (aside from perhaps you, telling us not to police): we’re counter-arguing against the Evil Stepmonster Begrudging Her Child Food storyline, debating against the But Children Can Eat Spicy Food derails and Why Are You Buying a New Freezer? distractions, and generally focusing on the key point: the DP is a twat.