To be annoyed that I've batched cooked for postpartum and DP is eating all of the food now?

404

He’s an arse and need to cook and replace by cooking or order from somewhere like Cook.
But not cooking for his current child?? How’s that going to work when you’re all living together.
‘ it's DPs responsibility to feed his son’
That’s what you said. When your child is older will deign to cook for the step child too or will he still be treated separately

Also think it's idiotic to call the OP out saying she's 'begrudging' his kid.. how ridiculous.. she's not saying the kid should starve is she.. he just shouldn't be eating the meals she lovingly prepared for a time when she'll need them.. of course not his fault, your DP should have made him something else to eat. How does mumsnet always go from 0 to 100 especially where there's stepchildren involved?!

People are getting at the fact he wasn’t included in the Batch cooking plan. OP cooked for 2, not 3. How is that ok?

Maybe he’s sending you a message it’s shit to cook for two out of the three of you then store it at his house and not yout own.
Do you run the OP’s posts through Google Translate and back several times to reach your bizarre conclusions and hot takes, or is it all your own work? Because this is… odd.

This is stupid, his son is not her child, why should she cook for them both?

Who is this mean? Seriously? You’re cooking a lasagne snd you can’t just assume a child who lives there will eat it too?

Considering they both share a dad, perhaps he can cook.

Christ. I thought Mumsnet was feminist

Sure but on the nights she is cooking then what?! Stepchild gets a different meal?

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
"Isn't that exactly why she's NOT discussing it Infront of anyone?"

Not the way I read it. She specifically said she'll have to be around him until she gets her office, is how I took it. But I could be wrong. But I thought why mention that he wants to sit playing games? If he's not in the room overhearing things why would it matter? Anyway I was just pointing it out. I doubt anyone doing this would act on my comment and stop doing it. Hopefully someone would take on board that even family hearing is more than inappropriate, but not legally allowed or fair on the person who's data it is.

OP cooked for 2, not 3. How is that ok?
Plenty of people eat after their kid has gone to bed. Not everyone wants to eat at 6pm. And with a newborn most people I know found it easier to feed their toddler, pack them off to bed, then tag team eating/jiggling the baby, rather than trying to sit down and eat a family meal.

Having read some of your other posts on MN OP I’m actually quite concerned for you. You are very vulnerable in this relationship.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

It’s a shitty thing to do to exclude a member of the household from a meal when they are able to eat the meal. Can’t imagine doing my washing and not washing for everyone else. Or cooking a meal snd not cooking for everyone. Shitty shitty

He is in the wrong but it sort of depends on circumstances how far in the wrong he is.

If he pulls his weight cooking and is planning to do almost all the cooking for the first few weeks when the baby arrives, then he's mildly in the wrong but I'd let it go.

If he never cooks and you do it all, then he has serious entitlement issues and this feels like a big 'fuck you' to all your preparations.

[quote westofnormal]@Getyourarseofffthequattro
"Isn't that exactly why she's NOT discussing it Infront of anyone?"

Not the way I read it. She specifically said she'll have to be around him until she gets her office, is how I took it. But I could be wrong. But I thought why mention that he wants to sit playing games? If he's not in the room overhearing things why would it matter? Anyway I was just pointing it out. I doubt anyone doing this would act on my comment and stop doing it. Hopefully someone would take on board that even family hearing is more than inappropriate, but not legally allowed or fair on the person who's data it is.[/quote]
She specifically said that's why she's working from her house until she gets her office. Go and read it again.

Then I'm sure she will cook, or perhaps they will eat when the kids are in bed (normal) But this is not that scenario is it?

It’s exactly the scenario. She is cooking meals to eat when the baby arrives. Stepchild will be there and also need food. Why is not included in the food planning?

[quote Justheretoaskaquestion91]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

It’s a shitty thing to do to exclude a member of the household from a meal when they are able to eat the meal. Can’t imagine doing my washing and not washing for everyone else. Or cooking a meal snd not cooking for everyone. Shitty shitty[/quote]
She's not excluding anyone?

I am annoyed because I told my DP that this food is for PP and he has fresh food in for him and his DS, we even spoke about what he is going to eat from the fridge this week when I wasn't there! I'm more annoyed food will be wasted tbh.

OK, but have you asked him why he ate the food, and what his plan is to replace it?

Can’t imagine doing my washing and not washing for everyone else. Or cooking a meal snd not cooking for everyone. Shitty shitty
But it’s not shitty shitty to eat meals specifically cooked for postpartum, and exclude the person who cooked those meals?

Plenty of people eat after their kid has gone to bed. Not everyone wants to eat at 6pm. And with a newborn most people I know found it easier to feed their toddler, pack them off to bed, then tag team eating/jiggling the baby, rather than trying to sit down and eat a family meal

But even then he can eat the same food ffs at a different time. And what if some of the meals are eaten at the weekend at lunch time?

He sounds like a thoughtless knob; that’s probably why his ex broke up with him

But it’s not shitty shitty to eat meals specifically cooked for postpartum, and exclude the person who cooked those meals?

Of course it is. He needs to replace them ASAP. But that’s not what I’m talking about