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To be annoyed that I've batched cooked for postpartum and DP is eating all of the food now?
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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 18:25

So me and DP are in the process of buying a house and cause of circumstances I cannot stay round his current house every night because he has a son and I need to work and can't work and be a babysitter. The new house will have an office on the third floor. I stay over only 2/3 nights a week. This weekend I have stood for hours and batch cooked lots of freezer meals for when our baby comes (I am 33 weeks pregnant, no judgement we are buying a house and will have a house by the time baby is here, there are problems with our sellers that are holding the sale up) so on the days I'm not at his he has been telling me that he and his son have been eating the food I prepared for when baby is here so most things have gone!!! Im annoyed cause I portioned the meals out for 2 so we can put them in the oven when baby is here and I don't have to stress. But he has been eating them with his son who already has a hot hearty meal at nursery. He's ate the food I spent hours preparing bare in mind I stood for hours with sciatica and an iron deficiency so constant heart palpitations when I was doing it and he was watching the football!!! Urgh please someone tell me if I'm being a hormonal monster or if you get where I'm coming from!

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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 19:42

@westofnormal

Also, I know he is your husband, but it sounds like you are actually breaking the law (DPA/GDPR) by discussing your cases around him. That is actually not okay if you are discussing child welfare or whatever. Or anything health and care related. Obviously with most other jobs you could let it slide. He should not be privy to any of this.

We work in the same department, we met via work.

He has a different role to me, Ive not disclosed where I work for that very reason.

Our relationship is approved in the workplace also.
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logsonlogsoff · 07/12/2021 19:42

He’s an arse and need to cook and replace by cooking or order from somewhere like Cook.
But not cooking for his current child?? How’s that going to work when you’re all living together.
‘ it's DPs responsibility to feed his son’
That’s what you said. When your child is older will deign to cook for the step child too or will he still be treated separately

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:42

Also think it's idiotic to call the OP out saying she's 'begrudging' his kid.. how ridiculous.. she's not saying the kid should starve is she.. he just shouldn't be eating the meals she lovingly prepared for a time when she'll need them.. of course not his fault, your DP should have made him something else to eat. How does mumsnet always go from 0 to 100 especially where there's stepchildren involved?!

People are getting at the fact he wasn’t included in the Batch cooking plan. OP cooked for 2, not 3. How is that ok?

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hotmeatymilk · 07/12/2021 19:43

Maybe he’s sending you a message it’s shit to cook for two out of the three of you then store it at his house and not yout own.
Do you run the OP’s posts through Google Translate and back several times to reach your bizarre conclusions and hot takes, or is it all your own work? Because this is… odd.

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:43

This is stupid, his son is not her child, why should she cook for them both?

Who is this mean? Seriously? You’re cooking a lasagne snd you can’t just assume a child who lives there will eat it too?

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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:43

@logsonlogsoff

He’s an arse and need to cook and replace by cooking or order from somewhere like Cook.
But not cooking for his current child?? How’s that going to work when you’re all living together.
‘ it's DPs responsibility to feed his son’
That’s what you said. When your child is older will deign to cook for the step child too or will he still be treated separately

Considering they both share a dad, perhaps he can cook.

Christ. I thought Mumsnet was feminist.
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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:44

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Also think it's idiotic to call the OP out saying she's 'begrudging' his kid.. how ridiculous.. she's not saying the kid should starve is she.. he just shouldn't be eating the meals she lovingly prepared for a time when she'll need them.. of course not his fault, your DP should have made him something else to eat. How does mumsnet always go from 0 to 100 especially where there's stepchildren involved?!

People are getting at the fact he wasn’t included in the Batch cooking plan. OP cooked for 2, not 3. How is that ok?

How is it not okay?
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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:45

Considering they both share a dad, perhaps he can cook.

Christ. I thought Mumsnet was feminist


Sure but on the nights she is cooking then what?! Stepchild gets a different meal?

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westofnormal · 07/12/2021 19:45

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
"Isn't that exactly why she's NOT discussing it Infront of anyone?"

Not the way I read it. She specifically said she'll have to be around him until she gets her office, is how I took it. But I could be wrong. But I thought why mention that he wants to sit playing games? If he's not in the room overhearing things why would it matter? Anyway I was just pointing it out. I doubt anyone doing this would act on my comment and stop doing it. Hopefully someone would take on board that even family hearing is more than inappropriate, but not legally allowed or fair on the person who's data it is.

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hotmeatymilk · 07/12/2021 19:45

OP cooked for 2, not 3. How is that ok?
Plenty of people eat after their kid has gone to bed. Not everyone wants to eat at 6pm. And with a newborn most people I know found it easier to feed their toddler, pack them off to bed, then tag team eating/jiggling the baby, rather than trying to sit down and eat a family meal.

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MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 07/12/2021 19:45

Having read some of your other posts on MN OP I’m actually quite concerned for you. You are very vulnerable in this relationship.

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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:45

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

*Considering they both share a dad, perhaps he can cook.

Christ. I thought Mumsnet was feminist*

Sure but on the nights she is cooking then what?! Stepchild gets a different meal?

Then I'm sure she will cook, or perhaps they will eat when the kids are in bed (normal) But this is not that scenario is it?
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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:45

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

It’s a shitty thing to do to exclude a member of the household from a meal when they are able to eat the meal. Can’t imagine doing my washing and not washing for everyone else. Or cooking a meal snd not cooking for everyone. Shitty shitty

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Goldbar · 07/12/2021 19:46

He is in the wrong but it sort of depends on circumstances how far in the wrong he is.

If he pulls his weight cooking and is planning to do almost all the cooking for the first few weeks when the baby arrives, then he's mildly in the wrong but I'd let it go.

If he never cooks and you do it all, then he has serious entitlement issues and this feels like a big 'fuck you' to all your preparations.

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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:46

[quote westofnormal]@Getyourarseofffthequattro
"Isn't that exactly why she's NOT discussing it Infront of anyone?"

Not the way I read it. She specifically said she'll have to be around him until she gets her office, is how I took it. But I could be wrong. But I thought why mention that he wants to sit playing games? If he's not in the room overhearing things why would it matter? Anyway I was just pointing it out. I doubt anyone doing this would act on my comment and stop doing it. Hopefully someone would take on board that even family hearing is more than inappropriate, but not legally allowed or fair on the person who's data it is.[/quote]
She specifically said that's why she's working from her house until she gets her office. Go and read it again.

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:46

Then I'm sure she will cook, or perhaps they will eat when the kids are in bed (normal) But this is not that scenario is it?

It’s exactly the scenario. She is cooking meals to eat when the baby arrives. Stepchild will be there and also need food. Why is not included in the food planning?

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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:46

[quote Justheretoaskaquestion91]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

It’s a shitty thing to do to exclude a member of the household from a meal when they are able to eat the meal. Can’t imagine doing my washing and not washing for everyone else. Or cooking a meal snd not cooking for everyone. Shitty shitty[/quote]
She's not excluding anyone?

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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:47

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Then I'm sure she will cook, or perhaps they will eat when the kids are in bed (normal) But this is not that scenario is it?

It’s exactly the scenario. She is cooking meals to eat when the baby arrives. Stepchild will be there and also need food. Why is not included in the food planning?

Or stepchild will be in bed having already eaten Hmm
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gwenneh · 07/12/2021 19:47

I am annoyed because I told my DP that this food is for PP and he has fresh food in for him and his DS, we even spoke about what he is going to eat from the fridge this week when I wasn't there! I'm more annoyed food will be wasted tbh.

OK, but have you asked him why he ate the food, and what his plan is to replace it?

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hotmeatymilk · 07/12/2021 19:47

Can’t imagine doing my washing and not washing for everyone else. Or cooking a meal snd not cooking for everyone. Shitty shitty
But it’s not shitty shitty to eat meals specifically cooked for postpartum, and exclude the person who cooked those meals?

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:48

Plenty of people eat after their kid has gone to bed. Not everyone wants to eat at 6pm. And with a newborn most people I know found it easier to feed their toddler, pack them off to bed, then tag team eating/jiggling the baby, rather than trying to sit down and eat a family meal

But even then he can eat the same food ffs at a different time. And what if some of the meals are eaten at the weekend at lunch time?

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Shoxfordian · 07/12/2021 19:48

He sounds like a thoughtless knob; that’s probably why his ex broke up with him

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 19:48

But it’s not shitty shitty to eat meals specifically cooked for postpartum, and exclude the person who cooked those meals?

Of course it is. He needs to replace them ASAP. But that’s not what I’m talking about

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LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 07/12/2021 19:48

@catmum789

I am not begrudging a small child for eating the food, I have made food which has spice in and added salt, made for adults!

Your DP is out of order eating the food you've made for PP. You said he and his son are eating the batch meals, sounds like he likes it. You should be portioning it out so there's enough for two adults plus his son. If he doesn't eat the dinner someone can have it for lunch the next day. I think that's what some posters mean by begrudging his DS a meal, you've only prepared food for two adults. As it is your DP should be cooking to replace the food, or paying for some ready meals to replace the eaten food, but moing forward it should be portioned and out so there's enough for all family members, not just the adults.
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Getyourarseofffthequattro · 07/12/2021 19:49

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Plenty of people eat after their kid has gone to bed. Not everyone wants to eat at 6pm. And with a newborn most people I know found it easier to feed their toddler, pack them off to bed, then tag team eating/jiggling the baby, rather than trying to sit down and eat a family meal

But even then he can eat the same food ffs at a different time. And what if some of the meals are eaten at the weekend at lunch time?

Omg what if what if what if poor step child wah wah

No mention of his dad parenting him. No mention of his dad eating all the food and excluding op, oh no just poor unfortunate step child.

It's a total non issue.
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