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To be annoyed that I've batched cooked for postpartum and DP is eating all of the food now?
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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 18:25

So me and DP are in the process of buying a house and cause of circumstances I cannot stay round his current house every night because he has a son and I need to work and can't work and be a babysitter. The new house will have an office on the third floor. I stay over only 2/3 nights a week. This weekend I have stood for hours and batch cooked lots of freezer meals for when our baby comes (I am 33 weeks pregnant, no judgement we are buying a house and will have a house by the time baby is here, there are problems with our sellers that are holding the sale up) so on the days I'm not at his he has been telling me that he and his son have been eating the food I prepared for when baby is here so most things have gone!!! Im annoyed cause I portioned the meals out for 2 so we can put them in the oven when baby is here and I don't have to stress. But he has been eating them with his son who already has a hot hearty meal at nursery. He's ate the food I spent hours preparing bare in mind I stood for hours with sciatica and an iron deficiency so constant heart palpitations when I was doing it and he was watching the football!!! Urgh please someone tell me if I'm being a hormonal monster or if you get where I'm coming from!

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FOJN · 07/12/2021 18:45

So he can't be arsed to cook for his own child but, according to some on this thread, you're the bad guy for not doing it. Seems like he enjoys decent meals but can't be bothered to cook those for himself either. Afraid your partner sounds a bit lazy and selfish.

Did you say anything about him eating the freezer meals? How did he respond? Whatever happens he needs to take action to replace the ones he's eaten. I would not be guilted about begrudging him or his child food either, he can cook it himself.

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Oldtiredfedup · 07/12/2021 18:45

You’ve been handed thd gift of a crystal ball.

Now really put to the test - tell him how you feel and ask him to replace the meals.

His response will tell you what you need to know (and I’d put money in it being shitty)

Think VERY carefully if this will be what you wish for your life.

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MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 07/12/2021 18:46

His son is fussy and leaves most things, he generally just wants a salami stick thing when he is back and some fruit and a sandwich so I wasn't going to cook for him too for him not to eat it, it's DPs responsibility to feed his son I have tried in the past and he doesn't eat it.

But he ate your batch cooked meals?

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MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 07/12/2021 18:46

@Oldtiredfedup

You’ve been handed thd gift of a crystal ball.

Now really put to the test - tell him how you feel and ask him to replace the meals.

His response will tell you what you need to know (and I’d put money in it being shitty)

Think VERY carefully if this will be what you wish for your life.

Yep.
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killingthishotmessofalife · 07/12/2021 18:47

I would be upset at the fact that they were pp meals. However, you sound like you're a little mad that his son has shared them? He's a child and has eaten a meal given to him by his dad so nothing to do with him. The fact that you've batch cooked for two and there's three of you has me a little worried about how you're going to feel when your baby arrives and your step son is around.

The fact that you mention he's eaten a "hearty" meal at nursery tells me that you don't think he needs dinner at home 😳😢. I'd be worried about your feelings towards step some after baby is here, you mentioned far to much about him than your husband who is ultimately responsible.

YABU!!

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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 18:47

I am not begrudging a small child for eating the food, I have made food which has spice in and added salt, made for adults!

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CharlotteRose90 · 07/12/2021 18:47

He needs to batch cook this weekend and make however meals they’ve eaten. He also needs to make 3 portions not 2. Can’t miss the child out but if he doesn’t eat it then it’s another that can be frozen. I would also stop cooking for him and make him do it. Sciatica is no fun and you shouldn’t be standing up loads.

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BusterGonad · 07/12/2021 18:47

I still don't get it, if they are BOTH eating your meals then his son obviously likes them too. I'm sorry to focus on this point in particular but it sounds like you don't care for him much.

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FourTeaFallOut · 07/12/2021 18:47

Yeah. I was about to say that, if he's so fussy he won't eat your food then he isn't the one eating your batch cooking. Or, his fussiness is much improved.

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MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 07/12/2021 18:48

Nursery - is that nursery that finishes at midday?

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Kbyodjs · 07/12/2021 18:48

That’s really selfish of him.

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catmum789 · 07/12/2021 18:49

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

Nursery - is that nursery that finishes at midday?

He is at nursery until 5 and goes bed at 7
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aSofaNearYou · 07/12/2021 18:49

If he hasn't automatically offered to replace it, then YANBU, he's been very selfish.

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PlumManor · 07/12/2021 18:50

I’m of the same opinion as others

Why are you cooking at his and leaving the food there?
Did you tell him why the food was there and not to touch it?
Why two portions and not three? If the child is eating it now they will want it after the baby is born.
Why would you be a babysitter when round at his? Do you default to being care giver when there?
When you’re ro7nd there do you do all the cooking?

So many red flags, you have already set yourself up to be a housekeeper/maid before you’ve even moved in.

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CharlotteRose90 · 07/12/2021 18:50

@BusterGonad

I still don't get it, if they are BOTH eating your meals then his son obviously likes them too. I'm sorry to focus on this point in particular but it sounds like you don't care for him much.

It’s obvious isn’t it. I got that feeling too. Imagine the dad saying in future oh she made food for us 2 only so I’ll make you chicken nuggets, it’s awful you can’t cut him out.

You are moving in together and therefore becoming a family. His son needs to feel wanted and loved in what will be his house Aswell.
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WTF475878237NC · 07/12/2021 18:51

I stood for hours with sciatica and an iron deficiency so constant heart palpitations when I was doing it and he was watching the football!!!

^ does he do nice things for the benefit of the family whilst you get to rest sometimes or is this one post basically an insight into your future?

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Kbyodjs · 07/12/2021 18:51

This thread shows the double standard of step mum so clearly; how is the OP being criticised for not wanting her DPs child fed the meals she cooked for post partum rather than criticising the actual FATHER for not making his own child food.

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MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 07/12/2021 18:52

He is at nursery until 5 and goes bed at 7

Ok so day care. I thought it was nursery school. He’s probably eating lunch about 1 and a Snack about 4 in nursery. That isn’t enough to sustain him until 7am the next morning. The fact he is eating the batch cooked meals tells you he is hungry at that time, he needs a meal. Regardless of whether he had something in nursery.

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santasmuma · 07/12/2021 18:53

Goodness don't buy a house with this man, he has no respect for you at all.

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MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 07/12/2021 18:53

@Kbyodjs

This thread shows the double standard of step mum so clearly; how is the OP being criticised for not wanting her DPs child fed the meals she cooked for post partum rather than criticising the actual FATHER for not making his own child food.

I criticised him. He a lazy arse chicken nuggets dad.
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Lockheart · 07/12/2021 18:54

If you did so much batch cooking this weekend how can most of it be gone already? It's only Tuesday.

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IAmHereForTheFood · 07/12/2021 18:54

If DP asked me I would cook for him but after he left the stuff I haven't done it again

Kids leave stuff, it doesn’t mean you stop cooking for them. It takes them eating, or at least trying things, several times before they get a taste for them.

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christmaspavlova · 07/12/2021 18:54

Nursery meals are tiny and lukewarm but your dp is out of order and should batch cook himself if he is eating all the food you have lovingly prepared.

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hotmeatymilk · 07/12/2021 18:55

I can’t really understand a word of what’s going on but the whole situation sounds terrible. Begrudging a small child food is just awful.
That’s… not what’s happening? So you’re correct: you don’t understand a word of it.

The OP is cooking for her and her partner to eat after the baby’s arrival, presumably in the evenings once her stepson is in bed and the baby is snoozing on someone’s shoulder/screaming with colic/whatever. Her partner is taking that frozen food and feeding it to his son, instead of cooking for him. Nothing to do with begrudging the kid a meal – but of all the food options in all the world, her partner has to eat the postpartum batch cooking? Come on.

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christmaspavlova · 07/12/2021 18:55

@Oldtiredfedup

You’ve been handed thd gift of a crystal ball.

Now really put to the test - tell him how you feel and ask him to replace the meals.

His response will tell you what you need to know (and I’d put money in it being shitty)

Think VERY carefully if this will be what you wish for your life.

This is so true
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