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Original poster

DD and charging rent?

233 replies

Nolongerachild · 06/12/2021 22:37

Long time poster, NC. Need some advice please, in case I am not being reasonable.
Single mum, no partner. DD living at home, and has finished her Masters, and started new job with a good salary.
I feel I should start charging her rent to include bills and food. Does £500 a month sound OK? My rent is £1300 a month, CT is £170 and who knows what energy bills will be this year but guessing around £100 a month. Then there’s water, internet and our food bill. She has to pay her mobile and her transport (no car). I just feel I need to put more into my pension, and I have literally nothing left at the end of every month. We’re in Bristol area, for my work, but it suits her very well for now. If she moved out I’d get a lodger. I’d really appreciate any advice particularly if someone else has had similar experiences. DD is 24. Thanks.

OP posts:
SpidersAreShitheads · 07/12/2021 01:11

@julieca - there are plenty of house shares in Bristol for around £500-550. Obviously you'd need to buy your own food but that can be done relatively cheaply. Plus I suspect that the OP's DD wouldn't always be eating at home anyway.

And of course, not living at home the DD will have far more freedom.

£500 to live at home is a lot. If you're not at home, it's a decent price.

Midlifemusings · 07/12/2021 01:24

500 for rent, food, internet, and all amenities and utilities does not seem excessive for a working professional at all. How is that market rate? Food is 200 / month at least plus internet and utilities - and you are getting rent for 200-300 a month - and people think that is market rate?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/12/2021 01:32

A couple more

DD and charging rent?
DD and charging rent?
SpidersAreShitheads · 07/12/2021 01:44

@sweeneytoddsrazor - but she's not getting a full flat to herself at home, is she? It's not a like for like comparison.

At home, she's got her bedroom and she's sharing the house with her DM, the OP. It's fairer to compare the £500 at home with how much she would spend on a house share in Bristol. And there are LOTS around the £500 which include all bills - and in some cases, even include the cost of a cleaner!

@Midlifemusings - lots of houseshares in the centre of Bristol which include all utilities (which includes wifi) for £500. It doesn't include food, so I agree that would be an extra cost but for a single, young woman it shouldn't come to much. I doubt she'd be eating at home with her mum at home every single night anyway. Food is a small extra cost in return for having your own freedom. And there are some houseshares which are less than £500 including bills so you could feed yourself AND have your own place for £500.

RainbowMum11 · 07/12/2021 02:04

Paying for a roof over your head etc is part of life - if you get to 24 without having to find a way to cover your basic living expenses then what are you learning about life?

Rosycheeks21 · 07/12/2021 02:16

Depends. I’m 23 and live at home. Earn approx 28k and parents ask for nothing as I’m saving for a house. I give her cash/buy her things though.

DeepaBeesKit · 07/12/2021 02:23

£500 is fine

I paid 400 pcm to my sister for rent & Bill's for a (small) spare room in zone 3 south london 15 years ago.

Bristol is expensive. You might be able to find a few dirt cheap housewares for 500pcm around the centre but that's because there are some not so nice areas round there, its not necessarily comparable to where a graduate on a decent salary will choose to live. And when you add in bills, food etc it's more.

buddythemum · 07/12/2021 02:27

@Rosycheeks21 I hope I can give my kids the same support as your parents do one day.

Redsquirrel5 · 07/12/2021 02:29

Wow I still think you should be contributing with that wage.

My DD was at uni in Bristol and her final student house was £370 a month plus bills. They stayed there for a while after uni but were priced out when they tried to move out of student accommodation and because DD wasn’t working full time because she was trying to get her career established. They moved further south and were paying £850 for a two bedroom house. Tiny kitchen rest was ok and it had a small garden.

I think it is fair for her to contribute but not to top up your pension. Sit down and explain why as there will be lots of hidden extras she won’t have thought of then discuss. What is fair. If she has a good wage then I think £500 inclusive is probably ok.

buddythemum · 07/12/2021 02:45

It obviously depends on personal circumstances really. I have every intention of making my kids work hard to keep up with money and rent etc but to then put aside to save up for a deposit on house if they earn it. I will do my best to teach them but ultimately have very strong limits to earn the help.

Redrosesandsunsets · 07/12/2021 03:03

She’s an adult. It’s fair to charge rent.

peboh · 07/12/2021 03:08

If you were to charge her £500 a month would that leave he enough money to save for her own place and enjoy a social life? That's a lot of money, and I think you need to consider if you're going to impact her ability to move into her own home.
I honestly don't agree with taking a big chunk of your child's money, and personally I think 10 or 20% of their wage is what I would take off my dd.

vodkaredbullgirl · 07/12/2021 03:23

My daughter has enough money to move out, but chooses to stay at home. She has more money than me saved.

ikeptgoing · 07/12/2021 04:30

Goodness sake, people are missing out that 'rent' in this case is for a 24 year old adult DD who has chosen to stay home and is earning decent wage, not a recent

The £500 includes council tax and her food!! Food and CT bill be £250/month there (£42.50 food/week and £50 single council tax exemption that her mum lost as a result, not even half of it) and all her bills,.

So OP charging £500/ month means effectively DDs rent and all the other bills she contributes to are £250/ month ...!

Doesn't sound like a bad deal to DD at all. She'd pay far more in house share and in renting a bed sit and be colder and hungrier.
(I paid more than that in shared student lodging in Bristol a few years ago . My uni son living costs - rent and good- as undergrad are more than that and he doesn't have to pay council tax)

Adult DD is 24 she can chose to move out so that mum can get a lodger. That level of rent for a two bed, sounds like is nearer central Bristol and a nice property (not student digs) so lodging costs would be far higher and house shares would mean share of bills that would be far higher than £500/week and not include any food nor being cooked for!

ikeptgoing · 07/12/2021 04:30

Whoops first sentence ..
Not a recent school or uni leaver who hasn't got a job yet...

ikeptgoing · 07/12/2021 04:43

If 24 year old DD is earning £21k or more, Her monthly take home will be £1250+ after pensions, tax etc. If she budgets £200 month for spending & phone and £50-100 for travel costs for work, paying mum £500/month rent, leaves DD still with £450-500 month to save towards deposit for house. That's pretty good when mum's (OP's) rental, bills, CT, food, etc will be in excess of £1850/ month as her rent is £1300/month alone. She's not overcharging her DD at all

PP who say "I wouldn't charge my DD any rent or only £200" clearly have the luxury of not being single parent, and very different circumstances.

It won't help DD if her mum loses rental home as defaults on bills as DDs not even slightly covering her own extra costs.

Adults don't actually live for free ..

HoppingPavlova · 07/12/2021 04:52

Sounds quite steep. I don’t charge mine on the basis they earnestly save for a deposit (current plan is they all kick in together to purchase collectively as an investment and some may also move into it). If they were pissing it up against the wall I’d then be charging, and putting it away behind the scenes as enforced savingGrin.

If you are in a position where you are literally going to lose the roof over your head, then I can understand charging something to prevent this as that’s to their benefit as well, but I’d make it the minimum to avoid this happening.

HadaVerde · 07/12/2021 04:59

@ikeptgoing

If 24 year old DD is earning £21k or more, Her monthly take home will be £1250+ after pensions, tax etc. If she budgets £200 month for spending & phone and £50-100 for travel costs for work, paying mum £500/month rent, leaves DD still with £450-500 month to save towards deposit for house. That's pretty good when mum's (OP's) rental, bills, CT, food, etc will be in excess of £1850/ month as her rent is £1300/month alone. She's not overcharging her DD at all

PP who say "I wouldn't charge my DD any rent or only £200" clearly have the luxury of not being single parent, and very different circumstances.

It won't help DD if her mum loses rental home as defaults on bills as DDs not even slightly covering her own extra costs.

Adults don't actually live for free ..

This.

My son of a similar age (works full time and earns well) pays a similar amount.

ThinWomansBrain · 07/12/2021 05:35

@lastqueenofscotland

£500 as market rate in bristol… dream on. Sounds fair OP.
my thoughts entirely - sounds more than fair!
malificent7 · 07/12/2021 05:53

Id charge her less on the understanding she saves a bit for a deposit.

halloweenie13 · 07/12/2021 05:57

It is too much considering she will probably be wanting to save for her own place and pension and not be in the same position as you, but taking a large chunk of her earnings after paying student finance and transport costs will make it difficult for her to save.

MrsLarry · 07/12/2021 06:18

I think £500 is way too much. It's not her place to pay your mortgage.

My son graduated last year. The plan was that if he returned home I'd charge him £200 so he could also save a deposit for his own home. He earns more than I do.

MrsLarry · 07/12/2021 06:24

Oh, I should add that he would've paid his own food on top of the £200.

Porcupineintherough · 07/12/2021 06:40

Yes its fine. You dont have to spend retirement in poverty just so your dd can put together a house deposit without a moments sacrifice.

vodkaredbullgirl · 07/12/2021 07:06

Must be nice for some parents not to ask for a contribution from their kids.