Aibu to think this is rude

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Went to a friends birthday last night and bought her a bracelet - not that it should matter but for context it cost me £70, which for me is a lot, I have 2 kids, work reduced hours and it’s Christmas time (it was a milestone bday).
Anyway today I wake up to a message asking me if she could exchange it as she’s prefer something else. I want to know if this is rude or the done thing nowadays? To me I think it is rude- I was brought up to never expect a gift but to be grateful if you get one. There’s also a gift receipt in the bag, she doesn’t actually need to tell me “hey I don’t like the gift”. Anyway she’s sent me a link for an item she prefers -£150- she says in the message “if” the bracelet was more she’ll find something else. So not only am I offended she’s now making me look cheap.
Aibu

I’d just reply “Lol” and leave it at that.

Is she usually grasping, money-driven, transactional, etc? You’ve given her a lovely gift for a milestone birthday and she did the same for you, which suggests a good friendship – why the leap to assume CFery from everyone? I was always brought up that it was OK to ask to exchange a gift (hence gift receipts) but you should let the person know so they don’t ogle your arm looking for the bracelet, or comment on a different item of jewellery and you have to blindside them that it’s their gift, exchanged. So I don’t think she was rude. And the money part doesn’t have to be rude and grabby – perhaps she viewed your original gift as around £150-200 and didn’t want you to be put out if she chose something cheaper.

For a good friend I’d give the benefit of the doubt: reply about the gift receipt but be kind, more of a “Of course you can exchange it! Gift receipt in the bag for exactly that reason. Hope you find something you love” rather than “Gift receipt in bag. £70. Return gift if nothing to your liking”.

She sounds like such a spoiled princess. What was the milestone birthday? Her 21st?

So so rude!!! I'd never do that. Tell her to take the gift receipt to the shop and sort it from there.

It’s not often that I’m speechless but your opening post has done it!

If you put a gift receipt in then surely that is inviting her to swap it if she doesn’t like it? If she didn’t text you might think she just never wears it, which to me would be worse than taking it back if you’ve spent a lot of money in it. The other bit is weird and rude yes!

Wow, she is sounds rude, cheeky and self centred.

I've no problem with someone changing a gift but her manner is obnoxious.

I would just respond something along the lines of.

"I know jewellery is very personal in terms of taste so I put the gift receipt in the bag in case you wanted to exchange it. No problem with you adding to it to get something you would prefer".

Then leave it, never mention it again but don't forget it. It would make me question the type of person she really is.

I think including a gift receipt is sort of saying it is OK to change the present but no need to tell you and the thing about how much it cost is very rude.

Just tell her that you're sorry it's not what she wanted and to return the gift and you'll get her something else, then get her a box of After eights and wear the bracelet every time you see her.

I would never ever again buy her a pressie. Rude as fuck.

How incredibly insensitive of her. She should have just gone ahead and exchanged it using the gift receipt, and then sent you a nice message along the lines of "Thank you for the lovely bracelet, and for including the gift receipt. I have exchanged it for this xyz, which I have had my eye on for ages. I consider it from you and will wear it often". She has gone about it so wrongly.

YADNBU. Cheeky cow, suggesting such an expensive replacement.

As others have said, I'd just reply with "the gift receipt is in the bag" and let her swap it if she wants

She's rude, no doubt.

BUT - you gave her the gift receipt, which means you have acknowledged & given her the opportunity to exchange it, so try not to be too upset that she's taken you up on it.
Also, I interpreted her '£150 comment as the opposite of she thinks you're cheap, she thinks that's what you've spent.

But definitely a thoughtless & rude way to go about it, do a she think you'll be making the exchange etc for her?
'Reciepts in the bag, go for it' & wine & chocs from now on.

I’m gobsmacked at the amount some people expect on presents - no wonder people can’t manage if they expect £150 presents. . Personally I think the message of - you will find the gift receipt in the bag will suffice— I think she will get the message

Incredibly rude.

Really boorishly rude. Absolutely no reason for her to say anything, just say thank you and quietly get on with an exchange. As PPs have said, the only reason she's taken this approach is to angle for YOU to pay for the "upgrade".

I would be torn between @MrsFoxyplease suggested response or (I am a bit petty when people have pissed me off) saying sweetly "oh let me have the bracelet and gift receipt and I'll get it sorted". Then get your money back and suddenly realise that money is really tight (Christmas, kids, reduced work hours etc) and you can't afford to replace gift after all so she'll just have to have nothing. What a shame.

It sounds as though she has different ideas of your relationship from you.

@Cam2020

That'd be the last gift the CF got from me!

Me too. No idea how people can be so rude.

I think "The gift receipt is in the bag" is the best suggestion if you want to keep the friendship but not pretend to be OK with her message.
I can't believe she said that about the £150 😮
She seems very immature if she doesn't understand the cost of living. She might still live with her parents but does she not ever read or watch the news or mix with normal people?

I'm going to go against the grain here, if she doesn't like it it's better that she exchanges it for something she'll wear? She's probably told you incase you ask about it in thr future or she's not seen wearing it etc.

Wow. She could have taken the high road and just used the gift receipt, but no.

I’d be inclined to reply along the lines of: “Sorry it’s not to your taste. Just give me the bracelet back next time I see you and I’ll sort it out.”

Then just return the bracelet, spend the money on your children, and say no more of it.

"Dear Friend, I did not like to say, but I didn't like the ring you picked for me. And I love the bracelet! Straight swap?"

Very rude, last gift she'd get from me!

@Katyrosebug

I'm going to go against the grain here, if she doesn't like it it's better that she exchanges it for something she'll wear? She's probably told you incase you ask about it in thr future or she's not seen wearing it etc.

You missed the crucial bit though so maybe “the grain” has it right.

Anyway she’s sent me a link for an item she prefers -£150- she says in the message “if” the bracelet was more she’ll find something else

Just ask her to return it to you including the gift receipt and swap it for something else. A nice bottle of champagne and keep the change for your own family.