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Random tragic memory found in my old diary **Content Warning** Title edited by MNHQ
335

cardiologist349275 · 04/12/2021 15:36

Sorry this isn't an AIBU but I didn't know where to put this. I was going through 20+ years of diaries and came across a story my mum told me before she died.

There was a little girl who went to school with my brother. She had a brain tumour. She was extremely unwell but still went to school every day, and one boy was always bullying her and pushing her over in the playground and she would cut her knees open all the time. The teacher was also a nasty bully (this was the 80s so she got away with it for years) and was very cruel to the girl because she had to wear trousers because she couldn't cope with a skirt, but she found the trouser buttons really hard to do up and the teacher would pick on her about it and not help her. She died on the day of the school play aged five.

My Mum was haunted by it and never forgot that little girl who she said was so, so sweet.

To add to the family's tragedy, their other daughter sadly suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and had to live in sheltered accommodation. One day about ten years ago the mother went to visit her, not knowing the daughter was having an episode and had snuck a knife into the flat. She was stabbed to death.

Though I never knew any of these people, I think of them often. Their tragedy has been lost to time, but I think if I remember them then they won't just be....gone.

Does anyone else have any memories of other people that come back to them in a haunting way?

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marmitegirl01 · 04/12/2021 18:02

Just started at secondary and the boy who sat in front of me in form drowned. I read about in local paper so must have been on half term. I think about him sometimes - Peter. Also two boys died in the same week after O levels both motorbike accidents. Had their whole life in front of them. This thread is so sad but I feel some comfort that we all are remembering them. I raise my glass to them all xx

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lightisnotwhite · 04/12/2021 18:02

The 80’s was about tribes and I tendered to run with the boys. Classes were done by surname so I was good friends with a boy who was in most of mine.
Clearly he had issues. Probably ADHD but with hindsight also some abuse. He was funny, clever, great at art ( although all were hideously pornographic). We were friends from the start of secondary school until the end. We went to different sixth forms and I nd er saw him him in town. I always wondered what amazing things he would do, he was so different.
Sadly in my first year of Uni I learnt he’d jumped of a building. The waste of life haunts me but also sadness that he didn’t know how much he would be missed.

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Tuliprain · 04/12/2021 18:02

I agree. Adults doing this is vile.

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GrandTheftWalrus · 04/12/2021 18:03

In 2019 just 8 days before Xmas a family in the house 3 doors down from me lost their little boy to cot death, he was only 3 months old. The police came and hammered on our door by mistake so my dh phoned me at 6am to tell me and I still remember hearing the mum screaming in the background. I'm in tears writing this just now.

When my second was born in May this year I was paranoid over her sleeping and have alarms etc in the cot etc.

I keep thinking about that poor family losing their precious boy so young and so close to Christmas. It would've been his 1st Xmas. They had to leave the house for a week as it was a crime scene and they never returned back, I haven't seen the mum since but bumped into the dad while he was clearing the house.

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roaringmouse · 04/12/2021 18:04

I was about 9 years old and went to play at a friend's house near Christmastime. Her mum had recently had a baby girl. She was absolutely beautiful! I loved holding her and my friend and I re-enacted the Nativity story, and put the beautiful baby in the crib, as baby Jesus. Some months later, with my friend absent from school for a while, I learned the baby had drowned in the swimming pool when using one of those baby-walker things. I have never forgotten her, or her family, and feel blessed to have held her in my arms.

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Whenigrowupiwanttobea · 04/12/2021 18:12

I am 52. My best friend at school was a boy called Adrian. He was killed walking home from school. A driver had a medical episode at the wheel, mounted the pavent and crushed Adrian against some metal railings. It was just before Christmas. He was 8 years old. I think about him every year at this time and always get emotional when I think about him.

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noottersontheflightdeck · 04/12/2021 18:13

A girl at my secondary school died of meningitis just before her A-level results. She had a place at university in the autumn. I was only eleven and she seemed so old but now I look back and think of how young she was and how much she never got to do.

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BillyWilliamTheThird · 04/12/2021 18:14

There was a lad at my infant school called Christopher who was the ultimate naughty kid. He was pretty terrifying to be honest but looking back he obviously had some major emotional and social problems.

One day he’d done something wrong at lunchtime so our head mistress got the whole school to stop eating and watch her tell him off. She made him drop his trousers and hit him on his bare bum several times with a table tennis bat. He cried.

It made me cry too, just from the shame and horror of having to watch it. I was maybe six at the time.

After leaving teaching, that head mistress became an arch deaconess for the Church of England.

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ThePlumVan · 04/12/2021 18:14

I’m going to spend time reading these properly (so sneaky placemarking) but mine was a girl in infants school called Jean who was hit by an ambulance and died. She would have been about 5. I remember her sitting on the carpet in class doing jigsaws. The teacher told us all while we were sitting on that carpet. I never forgot about her, and years later called my favourite calf Jean, who also sadly died, and I became a vegan from that day on. When people ask me why I’m vegan, I tell them about Jean the calf, but I’m also thinking about Jean the lovely girl who liked playing jigsaws and died so young.

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MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 04/12/2021 18:14

A dad, his son and daughter out for a fathers day walk with their dog. They were hit by a drunk driver and killed. His poor wife, their mum was at work. She came back to nothing that day, he even took her bloody dog.

Ive shed many a tear for her, it's just so cruel and pointless im amazed how people are still able to function after having their lives destroyed on that day.. And destroyed again a few months later when he got a pathetic 10 years for it.

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AlmostAJillSandwich · 04/12/2021 18:17

Little girl from my primary school and her whole family died in a fire, if i remember correctly it was arson :(

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Aurorie11 · 04/12/2021 18:18

When I was in yr 6, the younger brother of a boy in my class was run over and died, the thing that sticks most in my head was the boys Dad had to put sand on his dead son's blood to avoid further accidents.
Another lad in my year when he was just turned 18 drove into the back of a dustbin lorry on a blind bend.
The girl when I was in 6th form in my tutor group went home unwell on Friday, had a phone call from form tutor the next morning she'd died of meningitis.
Unfortunately I could carry on listing

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julieca · 04/12/2021 18:19

Carol a girl I played with sometimes. She was not in school much, but quickly caught up when she was there and was one of the cleverest girls in the class. When she was 12 there was a rumour around the school she had an abortion. I never saw her again.
I remember thinking though her dad was the father of the baby.

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LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 04/12/2021 18:19

There was a boy I knew at high school in the 90s who was really bright, not “popular” but not unpopular either, kind of mildly geeky but with a great sense of humour. We sat together in Physics and got on well. I still remember conversations we had.

After graduation he surprisingly didn’t go on to college right away — turned out this was for financial reasons. After I had been away for one year myself, I bumped into him while I was home over the summer; we were both getting out of our cars in a supermarket car park. We randomly went for a coffee together and caught up. Turned out he had won a scholarship to a really prestigious liberal arts college (we were in the US) for the following year. I was so pleased for him.

But during that following year, at this fancy high-end college, he took his own life. I only found out through the grapevine and never learned what was behind it. I also only learned at that point that he had lived with his grandparents all throughout high school — no idea why, or where his parents were.

I still think about him. He would have been a really good man, I think. It would have gotten better if he’d only been able to hang on. Oh Sad

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WhatDidISayAlan · 04/12/2021 18:20

The one that sticks with me is from when I was around 7 years old, so around 1979. We were eating our breakfast and heard a car screech outside on the main road. My mum legged it out of the house, and I remember her shouting at my dad to “take the children into the back room and call an ambulance”.

She ran back inside and I remember her running downstairs with a red blanket. Later in she told us that our paper boy had been run over and had been taken to hospital. What she didn’t tell us, and what I didn’t learn until I was an adult, is that he had died in her arms. He was 13. She also died early, but she and my dad never forgot him, and my dad always lit a candle at Mass when his anniversary came around.

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Gargellen · 04/12/2021 18:20

A 9yo lad from my class was knocked off his bike and killed the day he passed his cycling proficiency test
.

I can see his cheeky smile to this day and that was about 1973.

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Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 04/12/2021 18:23

These are heartbreaking

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AuntMargo · 04/12/2021 18:24

I am in my 50's - when at junior school in the 70's, a boy in my class, was dirty, smelt of wee and always had a green snotty nose. Our teacher sat him by himself between 2 large cabinets facing the wall away from everyone so no one looked at him. I was always sad for him and still think of him now.

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Peanutmnm · 04/12/2021 18:24

Two guys I was in secondary school with. Their sister fell in a river and the bigger sister went in to save her. They both drowned. I think they were 5 and 6 or so. I'm still horrified at the pain the family must have suffered 30 years later.

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VanillaIce1 · 04/12/2021 18:27

In secondary school in year 10 a girl had a boyfriend who was very controlling. The bastard set her house alight and killed her and her sister she was lovely. This happened in tooting in 2010Sad.

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Tabbydancer · 04/12/2021 18:28

This is a very painful thread to read

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VanillaIce1 · 04/12/2021 18:29

The boy who did it saved a picture of her house burning down as his computer screen saver he was 15. Always freaked me out

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EducatingArti · 04/12/2021 18:29

@Hedgesfullofbirds

At secondary school a boy, two years older than me, was hit on the head by a hockey ball, whilst playing in a home match against another school. He died that night in hospital from a brain haemmorhage. Still sticks in my mind 40 years later and I vividly recall his name, but won't mention it here

Was this in Gloucestershire Hedges?
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Cottonheadedninymuggins · 04/12/2021 18:30

Remembered another, a lovely LOVELY lad who I went to secondary school with. He was really funny and a proper gentleman and one of the lads who everyone liked. He was a surprise baby to his parents with much older siblings and he was proper doted on as the baby of his family, especially by his mum who was lovely too!

His nephew was also the same age/same year/same school etc. His nephew was a nice lad but also a little bit naughty at the same time.

He went away on a lads holiday when we were 18 and died in a motorbike accident. His parents went through hell trying to get his body back over here. His nephew went properly off the rails and became a major criminal arrested regularly. Thankfully, now he's doing much better for himself and has his own business that he's built from the ground that the town is really supporting and he's turned that corner but it was touch and go for a bit as to whether the family would lose him too (he would overdose regularly).

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/12/2021 18:30

I remember aged 6, the conversation about Nicola B, who was in the other class. She'd been off sick since before Christmas and we were told not to say anything to her when she came back because her baby brother had died of the Whooping Cough she'd caught at school. She looked so old, pale and drawn for a six year old and I could see she was really unhappy, but because we'd been told not to say anything, I thought that it meant we weren't allowed to talk to her at all. So she stood at the classroom window watching us play.

Then there was the boy who lived at number 9 who was in hospital for months with Tetanus. And the massive Measles outbreak followed by Mumps five days after we started back at school where he and his sister were the first ones off but were playing out every afternoon and would come up to talk to us - I remember the row my mother had with his when she started telling her that the reason I had been so ill (my eyesight was badly affected) was nothing to do with the Measles, but because my mother had let me be injected with poisons - vaccinations. I was quickly led away by one of the other Mums whilst the row continued - the last bit I heard was 'Aren't you satisfied with almost killing your own son...'. The woman never collected her children from school again - they had to walk by themselves.




DP is still affected by his best friend dying of meningitis. DP had been sent to school feeling awful because his father had said illness is all in the mind and refused to let him stay at home. He spent the day in Medical and then his best friend's Dad collected and drove the pair of them back after school. They found his friend dead three mornings later. What made it worse was that DP found out later that they had been offered the first meningitis vaccines but, along with TB, FIL had refused permission and convinced his Best Friend's parents to refuse as well.

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