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Random tragic memory found in my old diary **Content Warning** Title edited by MNHQ
335

cardiologist349275 · 04/12/2021 15:36

Sorry this isn't an AIBU but I didn't know where to put this. I was going through 20+ years of diaries and came across a story my mum told me before she died.

There was a little girl who went to school with my brother. She had a brain tumour. She was extremely unwell but still went to school every day, and one boy was always bullying her and pushing her over in the playground and she would cut her knees open all the time. The teacher was also a nasty bully (this was the 80s so she got away with it for years) and was very cruel to the girl because she had to wear trousers because she couldn't cope with a skirt, but she found the trouser buttons really hard to do up and the teacher would pick on her about it and not help her. She died on the day of the school play aged five.

My Mum was haunted by it and never forgot that little girl who she said was so, so sweet.

To add to the family's tragedy, their other daughter sadly suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and had to live in sheltered accommodation. One day about ten years ago the mother went to visit her, not knowing the daughter was having an episode and had snuck a knife into the flat. She was stabbed to death.

Though I never knew any of these people, I think of them often. Their tragedy has been lost to time, but I think if I remember them then they won't just be....gone.

Does anyone else have any memories of other people that come back to them in a haunting way?

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Hedgesfullofbirds · 04/12/2021 16:24

At secondary school a boy, two years older than me, was hit on the head by a hockey ball, whilst playing in a home match against another school. He died that night in hospital from a brain haemmorhage. Still sticks in my mind 40 years later and I vividly recall his name, but won't mention it here

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itsallgoneshitflavoured · 04/12/2021 16:28

I went to an all girl's school. The boy's were educated on another campus across town. One winter morning the groundsman found a young lad aged 12 swinging from a tree next to the cricket pavilion. He was homesick as a boarder and being bullied horrendously for it.
Also, older but still impacted me greatly, when a lad I lived in shared accommodation with in Nottingham as a student was hit by a drunk driver and pinned against a wall where he died along with the girl he was walking home with. Still think about these people from time to time and how fragile and fleeting life can be.

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Aprilx · 04/12/2021 16:29

I have never forgotten a girl that went it my primary school. She was a year younger than me and she was called Elizabeth. She wasn’t one of the cliquey girls, she didn’t seem to have particular friends but she was liked. She was quite a tomboy and very lively. I didn’t really have any friends in primary and she was one of the few people that didn’t object to me being around and joining in games like hopscotch (this was the 70s).

Anyway I think after the summer holidays new year she didn’t come back. I heard she died, but I was only about seven and didn’t ask for any more information. I still don’t really know what happened to her, but I have never forgotten her. It would be about 44-45 years ago now.

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HipposHaveNipples · 04/12/2021 16:30

When I was in year 3 a girl in the year above died suddenly from an asthma attack. I think that was the first time I realised that it wasn't just the elderly who die.

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CurryLover55 · 04/12/2021 16:30

A girl in my class in 5th year ( now Year 11) died from liver cancer aged 20 & I still think of her now & all that she missed out on in life.

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 04/12/2021 16:31

I had a best friend -11-14 who I lost touch with when I moved away. Moved back a few years later, chatted on SM media for a while and arranged to meet. I had to cancel as I was unwell and was too busy/lazy to rearrange straight away. A month after we were due to meet she killed herself. It haunts me and I think about it all the time and how it might have been if I had met her, if i could have helped her.

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weebarra · 04/12/2021 16:31

My next door neighbour growing up joined the army and was killed in a car bomb by the IRA. He was only 19. There was a big age difference between him and his younger sister, she was the year below me at school.

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ninnynonny · 04/12/2021 16:32

@shortpoet. No, I was in an East Anglian village - H.

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trappedsincesundaymorn · 04/12/2021 16:32

40 years ago my best friend got given a motorbike for his 16th birthday. He put on the "L"'s and took it out (this was before the days of compulsory bike training). It was raining slightly and his head was down so as not to get rain on his visor....he never saw the lorry that hit him. I remember being told of his death as if it were yesterday and I often wonder what sort of man he would have become, as a boy he was the kindest sweetest soul.

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 04/12/2021 16:33

@Hedgesfullofbirds

I don’t know why but there’s something about the suddenness of that death during a fun game, the unexpectedness of it, that really upsets me.

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ninnynonny · 04/12/2021 16:34

@Kanaloa Yep. This was the early 1970s. All the teacher I went crying to said was 'sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me'
They did oddly!

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Babyroobs · 04/12/2021 16:35

I think things are much better these days, kids re protected more.
Op I struggle to understand how a teacher could be so cruel to a child with cancer like that, or any child for that matter.
When I was at school there was a little boy called Terry who has a terrible facial deformity. He had no friends, ever. He stood in the playground on his own huddled into his coat every playtime. I think about him often and wonder why no-one ( teachers etc) tried harder to get others to include him. I don't think this would happen now. Also another boy who was just perceived as odd and people made fun of him. It is very clear now that he must have had severe autism or something but I just don't think there was the same diagnosis back then in the seventies. I don't remember him ever having extra one to one help or anything like that.

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thefirstmrsrochester · 04/12/2021 16:36

A little girl called Anoushka wandered a couple of streets away from her home and into the garden of my mum and dads neighbours where me, my sisters and neighbours children were playing, all pre school age. Anoushka climbed over a fence and onto the railway embankment where she was hit by a train. We all saw it. This would now be 45 years ago. I’ve never forgotten how tiny and doll like she was.

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LuneyTunes · 04/12/2021 16:36

There's some very dark thoughts in my childhood diaries..which is why I don't read them xo

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GreenWhiteViolet · 04/12/2021 16:39

At my primary school there was a girl with a severe speech impediment. She was teased a lot. I never joined in with the teasing, but I never tried to include her or make an effort to get to know her either. I just avoided her. I think of her often.

In year 11 two girls died of cancer within a couple of months of each other. I wasn't especially close friends with either, but I knew them. The school's response was to arrange a year group trip to a theme park to 'cheer us up'. This felt incredibly inappropriate to me and I didn't go. It wasn't something meaningful like 'Jane loved this theme park, let's go and celebrate her life'. It felt like 'year 11 are upset, what random fun thing can we distract them with to make up for it'. I'm sure they meant well, but it seemed really odd.

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GrandTheftWalrus · 04/12/2021 16:40

A boy in the year below me at school died in an accident with a rope swing. I'll always remember his name.

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MoiraNotRuby · 04/12/2021 16:42

So heartbreaking reading this. I had a friend at school who died aged 11. We have the same birthday and I always think of her on our birthday and would like her family to know someone is remembering her. The year we turned 40 I went to her grave (couple of hours from where I live now) and discovered her mum died very young, before she was 40 herself, and they are buried in the same plot.

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MagpieCastle · 04/12/2021 16:49

When travelling in my late teens, the boyfriend of a friend from Germany was killed in a road accident while returning from a party we’d all attended together. Years later and in a different country, I worked with a relative of the boy (we had no idea of this connection - it only came out after working together for some time and because the specific details of what had happened were very recognisable). They found comfort from the fact that he was in a loving relationship when he died and it also helped also to know how happy he was on that last evening. I still think of them both, the boy and girl at that party on that evening; so happy and carefree in a moment in time when we all thought such things lasted forever.

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HornungTheHelpful · 04/12/2021 16:51

I have three. Not all children but all from my childhood.

The first was my cousin who died while away at school of meningitis. I remember being taken to see her grave and my aunt explaining that they had picked the spot because it looked over their house and she wouldn’t be lonely and could see home. Her parents separated within the year and had to sell the house. The church is extremely rural and little-used. Aged 40 I still can’t think about how alone she is without welling up.

Second, my mum worked for the local council when they moved offices she was clearing out some cupboards and it was the remaining possessions of a man who had been buried by the council because he had no one. As a teenager I thought that was so sad but as I get older I incline more to the view that outliving everyone who cares about you might be a privilege.

Finally, boy at the end of our street died at his Saturday job as a waiter. Went outside for his break, had asthma attack and was found dead in the restaurant car park. Years later his mum showed me his bedroom just as it had been on the day he died. So terribly sad.

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WakeUpLockie · 04/12/2021 16:53

God it’s really something to look at these childhood stories with an adult eye. So much tragedy.

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mumsiedarlingrevolta · 04/12/2021 16:55

When I was little a neighbour who had mental health issues drank something-my childhood memory is vague-but rubbing alcohol or something and bludgeoned his little granddaughter to death.
Still haunts me-was horrific

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surreymum89 · 04/12/2021 16:55

2 deaths at my school within a short time , a boy in my brothers year who killed himself but it was deemed accidental and a girl in the year below me who had a fit and drowned in the bath , when I think back to my school years and I remember this I feel so sad about the life they missed out on , I'm in my early 30's now and I think about all the experiences I have had since being at school and everything them and their families won't get to enjoy with them , grandchildren that will never be etc.

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supertedious · 04/12/2021 16:57

My house mate from my first year of university. She was just 18 and was so full of life and I'm sure would have gone onto do amazing things.
Sadly she died in a crash driving home for the Christmas break. I still think of her and her family often Sad.

It was the first time I truly realised how fragile life is.

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HoseMeDownWithHolyWater · 04/12/2021 16:57

Age 7, I fell out with a friend. I can't even remember why exactly.

The next morning she was hit by a car and died.

It haunts me, honestly.

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Goldandguns · 04/12/2021 17:02

When we were 16 my friend's sister (14) committed suicide. The evening before she'd said goodnight to her parents, the next morning my friend found her in her bedroom. It was in the local news for a while.
My friend never really recovered from it - she sat her GCSEs later and managed to pass, but she was a shell of her former self. She was one of those people that reminded you of sunshine and innocence, and she kind of ended up going off the rails after that.

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