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Random tragic memory found in my old diary **Content Warning** Title edited by MNHQ
335

cardiologist349275 · 04/12/2021 15:36

Sorry this isn't an AIBU but I didn't know where to put this. I was going through 20+ years of diaries and came across a story my mum told me before she died.

There was a little girl who went to school with my brother. She had a brain tumour. She was extremely unwell but still went to school every day, and one boy was always bullying her and pushing her over in the playground and she would cut her knees open all the time. The teacher was also a nasty bully (this was the 80s so she got away with it for years) and was very cruel to the girl because she had to wear trousers because she couldn't cope with a skirt, but she found the trouser buttons really hard to do up and the teacher would pick on her about it and not help her. She died on the day of the school play aged five.

My Mum was haunted by it and never forgot that little girl who she said was so, so sweet.

To add to the family's tragedy, their other daughter sadly suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and had to live in sheltered accommodation. One day about ten years ago the mother went to visit her, not knowing the daughter was having an episode and had snuck a knife into the flat. She was stabbed to death.

Though I never knew any of these people, I think of them often. Their tragedy has been lost to time, but I think if I remember them then they won't just be....gone.

Does anyone else have any memories of other people that come back to them in a haunting way?

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EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 04/12/2021 17:02

My friend at school died when she was 6.

A friend I made when we were in hospital at the same time at the age of 7 took his own life as a teenager - it was reported as a domestic accident but it wasn't.

I think of them both every day.

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BarbaraBeast · 04/12/2021 17:02

A very good friend from age 7-14 suddenly moved away and told us her family had bought a pub in a village miles away and that she was leaving the next week. I was gutted to lose contact with her and thought of her often. I didn’t hear another thing about her until a friend told me it turned out she had had a fit and drowned on her 18th birthday and that in actual fact, her family had never bought a pub; she was removed from the family due to neglect and sent to live in care. I was devastated not only that she had died but that her life had been so awful and I had no idea, I feel so guilty to have known nothing of what she was going through. Such a lovely, lovely girl born into a shitty family.

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WeatherwaxOn · 04/12/2021 17:02

Not all mine.
When my mum was a girl, she and her sister were evacuated during WW2, but had such a horrible time with their host family their parents brought them home early 1940. Mum had an invite to go to tea with a little girl who lived around the corner from her - they'd have both been about 7 or 8. In the night a bomb dropped, right into the friends house, killing the whole family.

Friend of my parents had a teenage daughter about 5 years older than me. Her best friend was killed by an articulated lorry when she was about 16.

Boy at my primary school a year or so above mine broke into a derilect house with a couple of friends. He fell through the roof and was killed. I remember our head teacher talking about it in assembly.

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Drinkyourweaklemondrink · 04/12/2021 17:03

Time doesn't take away the tragedy in many cases.
In my primary school we had a 7 year old who lived on a small holding. They had horses.
The 6 year old was playing with his siblings and had been watching a cowboy movie he tied a rope around the horses neck and another rope around his waist and climbed on the horse thinking the rope would be a safety rope. Sadly the horse bolted and he fell off. He was dragged for quite some distance with his poor siblings chasing the horse.
I have a really haunting memory of us all standing outside the school heads bowed as his cortège went past. So tragic.

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SpeckyWithTheGoodHair · 04/12/2021 17:04

When I was about 7 or 8 a girl I was in Brownies with died (along with the rest of her family) just before Christmas as a result of a dodgy boiler and carbon monoxide poisoning.

I always associate John Lennon's 'Woman' with them dying as it was in the charts at the same time. It took me over 25 years to listen to it without crying.

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WeatherwaxOn · 04/12/2021 17:05

And a close friend of mine died on holiday 20 years ago. She had epilepsy and had a massive fit. She was on holiday with someone else I had been friends with but we'd had a falling out. It was a horrible time and my late mum was a real support. Sadly mum died the following year.

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EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 04/12/2021 17:07

My mother told the story of what it was like for her when there a dual epidemic of scarlatina and diphtheria - they lost a 1/3 of her entire cohort of schoolmates in one term.

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ArabellaScott · 04/12/2021 17:07

@ninnynonny

There was a little girl at my primary school called Jenny who had both legs in calipers. I have no idea what it was she had but always wondered. She was such a jolly girl - never in my friendship group but just really lovely.
Ona nasty note, I was horribly bullied because I had a visible difference and I will never ever forget or forgive a girl called Verity who got a gang together and encircled me chanting my disability out loud. It still affects me 45 years later.

I'm so sorry. Flowers
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TwentinQuarantino · 04/12/2021 17:08

A girl in my sister's year (when they were in year 5 in primary school), was run over and killed by a speeding car.

A few years later her older sister - 20s - had a brain haemorrhage and was found dead by her very young children. I think of their parents often and wonder how they dealt with the heartache of losing 2 of their children so suddenly.

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GypsyWanderer · 04/12/2021 17:11

My friend died of meningitis when we were 13 which devastated me. That and a few other things triggered a depression and anxiety that I’ve had since and I’m almost 40.

When my eldest daughter was 14 her boyfriend died of an epileptic seizure and I had to tell her. We then met up with his dad and that meeting still haunts me. Then 2 years ago i had to tell my youngest daughter that one of her closest friends had died, she was 6. Just horrible, I don’t have any words really.

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RosettaR · 04/12/2021 17:12

This is a but different but it does haunt me. When I was young my grandmother took in a young man who had fled from Eritrea after his whole family were killed in fighting. At the time I thought of him as an adult but looking back I think he was really young, no more than 20. She encouraged him to claim asylum because he was living totally undocumented. He did and his claim was rejected. I remember her turning up at our house sobbing that "they came and took him away". I'd never seen an adult cry like that before. My family tried to follow what happened to him afterwards, he was deported to Germany where it turned out he had already had a claim rejected, they wanted to deport him but no other country would take him. So he was basically in limbo in a detention centre in Germany and it didn't seem anything could be done. I hope he eventually got released and managed to build a life for himself there.

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LuluBlakey1 · 04/12/2021 17:13

A boy called Kenny Dickson at primary school. He was a tall boy for his age and chubby and he could be naughty but was really kind. He had lovely dark curley hair and freckles and a big smile. He lived with just his mum and they moved so they lived out of the village.
When we were about 10 he was off school for quite a long time then he came back and he was thinner and limped and was quieter. The next year we went to secondary school and he was off again. It turned out he had bone cancer in his leg and he died. We just never saw him again and the school never told us until he died. I always think we should have made him some cards and his friends should have gone to see him and kept him company. He must have been so lonely without his friends.

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Unsuremover · 04/12/2021 17:20

I went to a different school from my sister but I knew her friends. 2 boys in her year were gorgeous and funny (to 11 year old me). They were sporty and popular, but not wild or naughty. Anyway rural life 30 + years ago, they were playing with guns on a farm and one was killed and the bullet hit the other. When someone says “they were never same again” I think of him. He never looked happy again. Maybe not sad hut never mucked about or roared with laughter. I remember I never wanted to look at him because it made me so sad.

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AcrossthePond55 · 04/12/2021 17:20

I lost a good friend at age 14 to cancer.

This was back in the early '70s and for some unknown reason her family kept her diagnosis a secret. She stopped coming to school in February and said that she had mononucleosis. Then suddenly her parents wouldn't take her the phone and we were turned away from the door. Still 'mono'. It was like a brick wall. Being 14 year olds, we just accepted things and got on with our lives. Then I got a phone call in April from her older sister saying that she'd died of cancer, letting me know when the funeral was, and to pass it on to her other friends. It was a huge shock to us and to this day I don't know why her family was so secretive about it.

I don't think of her as often as I wish I did, if that makes sense. But when I do, I remember that she'd just gotten her first boyfriend and that 'their song' was 'Something' by The Beatles.

RIP, dear friend.

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lilmishap · 04/12/2021 17:20

John A deaf mute who was battered to death by his mums boyfriend and a girl called Amy whose dad set her and her family on fire in their beds.

Just fucking horrible

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Nc123 · 04/12/2021 17:26

A boy my mum taught at primary school. He was part of a family who were badly neglected and the kids had nothing. At ten he climbed over a fence into someone’s yard to get a football back and was killed by their dog. He had nothing in his short life and it ended in terror and pain.

Separately, I used to go regularly to a club night where there were a lot of other regulars. One of the other girls who went I knew slightly. She went travelling in South America - really excited, the trip of a lifetime - and was killed when the coach she was on went off a cliff in rural Bolivia. Almost everyone else survived. I heard she was asleep when it happened and it’s my private hope that she never woke to know what was happening to her.

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MissDollyMix · 04/12/2021 17:27

When I was very young- in reception I think, so about 4 one of my classmates had a baby brother who died of cot death, or so that’s what they said. I was too young to understand it fully but I can still quite vividly remember the mums in the playground discussing his death in quite graphic details. I won’t go into it here because the details were awful but it wasn’t a just a case of finding him dead in his bed. As an adult I sometimes reflect on how sad and shocking it must have been.

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Cottonheadedninymuggins · 04/12/2021 17:27

One of my old teachers commited suicide mid 30s. She had been out the night before and didn't go to school the next day and her friends/colleagues went to her house, saw her car outside etc. They ended up breaking in with the police. Her parents post a memorial to her in the paper each year, always saying how hard it is and no answers. I feel for them so much, she was lovely!

A child at the back of where we used to live was approx 3 and got out into the main road that backed onto our old house. My mum happened to hear a huge scream and look up... Right as an articulated lorry ran over him. I wasn't much older than him but I remember her running back into the house and in a huge shaken mess trying to focus and ring 999. (it was obvious from the injuries that the child had immediately died without getting near to him).

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Riverlee · 04/12/2021 17:27

When I was a student, a lad I met on the first few days of being a student died of cancer. I was only thinking of him the other day.

Also, another student went missing. She was found having crashed her car. If I recall, it was the night The Shamen were playing a gig. Whenever I hear this band, I think of her.

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Jamontoast87 · 04/12/2021 17:27

So sad reading these. The suffering some people go through is beyond horrific Sad

I remember a little girl who used to be in my class who lived on a farm and unfortunately didn't have the best personal hygiene, her clothes were often spattered with mud and God knows what, bless her. Some real nasty girls in the class used to follow her around calling her a stinky cow. We were in Year 3, late 80s. Absolutely vile behaviour.

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ninnynonny · 04/12/2021 17:28

@ArabellaScott. Thank you. It's ridiculous but I want to see her again and ask if she honestly understood how much that hurt.

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Tabbydancer · 04/12/2021 17:29

Yes. A little boy, around six, in a refugee camp. He spoke Arabic so no one could understand him (it was a war situation and he was from the opposing side to the majority of people in the camp). He’d been found in a fox hole during an attack on the town. No one knew where his family was but there were several thousand dead bodies. His dad had been a soldier. He wanted me to stroke him and he let me hug him and purred like a little cat. In the end, I later heard, the cook at the camp took him back to her home in the north of her country (bordering his). I think about him all the time and if I’d had a boy he would have been named after him. This child must be late twenties now.

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LouLou198 · 04/12/2021 17:29

A school friend of mine died suddenly of sepsis, age 18 whilst we were in college. I often think of her and why she would have become. She was really looking forward to university and died literally weeks before she should have started.

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NameChangerDanger · 04/12/2021 17:30

A primary school classmate of mine died in a horrible car accident shortly after we’d left for secondary. He actually survived the initial collision, but got out of the car and was killed when a second car ploughed into them. I didn’t want to go to the funeral, but my mum was going and I changed my mind at the very last minute. I remember being so worried about my completely inappropriate attire (bright red fleece and jeans) but his parents were so grateful to see so many of his friends. I still think of him.

I also vividly remember my maths teacher being completely beside himself one day. He told us about a refugee family he had been helping- a brother and sister. One had moved in with him. He had schizophrenia and killed his sister. I remember my teacher sobbing that he’d lost them both. I have no idea why his colleagues had allowed him to be at school that day, but at 11 year olds, it didn’t even cross my mind at the time. I recently heard that this wonderful teacher died of cancer in his 50s. So terribly unfair.

Finally, my biology teacher was dying of cancer. His wife also taught at my school and was teaching my class when she got “the call”. It was an awful thing to witness. I can still hear her scream.

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Toddlerteaplease · 04/12/2021 17:30

A boy I sat next too at junior school
Was always dirty and smelly. They lived just up
The road from us and their house always looked scruffy. He died a few years ago a few days after what seemed to be a minor bang on the head. But obviously caused a slow bleed.

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