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Random tragic memory found in my old diary **Content Warning** Title edited by MNHQ
335

cardiologist349275 · 04/12/2021 15:36

Sorry this isn't an AIBU but I didn't know where to put this. I was going through 20+ years of diaries and came across a story my mum told me before she died.

There was a little girl who went to school with my brother. She had a brain tumour. She was extremely unwell but still went to school every day, and one boy was always bullying her and pushing her over in the playground and she would cut her knees open all the time. The teacher was also a nasty bully (this was the 80s so she got away with it for years) and was very cruel to the girl because she had to wear trousers because she couldn't cope with a skirt, but she found the trouser buttons really hard to do up and the teacher would pick on her about it and not help her. She died on the day of the school play aged five.

My Mum was haunted by it and never forgot that little girl who she said was so, so sweet.

To add to the family's tragedy, their other daughter sadly suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and had to live in sheltered accommodation. One day about ten years ago the mother went to visit her, not knowing the daughter was having an episode and had snuck a knife into the flat. She was stabbed to death.

Though I never knew any of these people, I think of them often. Their tragedy has been lost to time, but I think if I remember them then they won't just be....gone.

Does anyone else have any memories of other people that come back to them in a haunting way?

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WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 11/12/2021 09:17

In the town I grew up in there was a house fire in which three children were killed. The mum and one child survived. They had lost a child to cancer too. I was young but remember how awful that was.

Also remember that just after I started secondary school, a girl I’d just met lost her mum to cancer. It was my first encounter with anyone young dying.

A boy in my class took his own life during the Easter holidays. He was 13. This was in the days before it was addressed openly and no adult ever spoke to the class about what happened, his name was just crossed off the register.

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Thisbastardcomputer · 11/12/2021 08:39

A girl from school who was a bit older than me, the type of girl who has everything, cool parents, lovely house, great clothes etc. She got married to a very desirable man, they had two children. Both children died of the same cancer but 8 years apart. The marriage had broken down after the first child died. I got reacquainted with her after both had died, she made a real effort to get on with life, she talked about it but refused to let the tragedy shape her life.

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cptartapp · 11/12/2021 08:09

When I was in sixth form over thirty years ago a group of four very popular lads were driving erratically one night. There were talks of them 'messing about' in the car. It crashed horrifically and killed two of them. I still remember their names, the details in the press and the absolute devastation of their peers. They would have been 50 this year.

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Saoirse82 · 11/12/2021 07:52

I'm from NI and my school friend was shot dead. This was a few years after the good Friday agreement so we thought we'd left the worst of the troubles behind. He was murdered soley because of his religion in a place where he should have been safe, nobody was ever charged for his murder but that was typical of the majority of murders here during the troubles. Now I'm older and a parent I find it harder to think about as it was so tragic.

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ClaudiaJ1 · 11/12/2021 07:04

@Nittersing Oh ok, I'm in Australia too, but have never heard of a female serial killer with 6 kids, the most I've seen is a female with 3 kids. But she only killed one person.

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Nittersing · 10/12/2021 05:07

Claudia I live in Australia so the murders happened here. I really feel for her children, they deserved a much better childhood than they got. Their mother ruined their chance at a normal life. 😪

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RevolvingPivot · 09/12/2021 23:27

I remember my dad sat reading the local newspaper one night. On the front cover there was a picture of a girl from my class. She was crossing a very busy road to go to the shop and dropped her purse. She was hit by a car and killed. I still wonder how the driver didn't see her. That shocked me for years.

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Somethingsnappy · 06/12/2021 12:11

These are so sad.

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CassieJumped · 05/12/2021 23:34

We'd just left high school when a girl we knew as killed. She was a girl in my form. Not a friend as such. I was horrendously bullied but a lovely girl who was kind and sweet. Her sisters car was ploughed into and she was killed outright but her sister survived. Weeks later we opened our gcse results and I have heard hers were all A's and A*'s

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ToffeeNotCoffee · 05/12/2021 21:36

One school friend died in a motorcycle accident a couple of years after leaving school.

another school friend died of cancer around the same time

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riverofsweetcorn · 05/12/2021 18:51

As someone who's family story has featured on this thread, I'd just like to say that it actually brings me comfort. I don't see it as grief tourism, or anything along those lines.

Even though my family's tragedies occurred more than 20 years ago, it is comforting to know that those memories live on. Thanks

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 05/12/2021 18:40

@TenGames

That tumble dryer story is devastating.

I cannot believe how teachers used to behave it’s sick.

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Nomoreusernames1244 · 05/12/2021 18:04

When you lose someone one of the hardest things (in my experience) is that the world seems to keep turning while yours has stopped. You feel that your loss is forgotten as others get on with their own lives. I would definitely take comfort from knowing that people outside the family remember him and how unfair the world can be

This. So much this. If my story appeared on one of these threads I would be incredibly grateful that someone remembered, that child whose world stopped that day would feel seen.

In fact every so often I’ll have a quick google to see if anyone has looked for us or tried to find out what happened after we upped and moved suddenly after. But it was the 80’s and pre internet so most who were adults are likely too old to be internet proficient, and children who were my peers to young to remember names and details.

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orangejuicer · 05/12/2021 17:50

@TheMadGardener no, S Wales.

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liliainterfrutices · 05/12/2021 17:39

@Bobsyer

This whole thread is grief tourism at its worst. Gossiping about real people's tragedies whilst hiding behind a pretence of "oh it made me feel so sad". I am astounded at the fact that people are being named

Could not disagree more. What a mean-spirited post in amongst what to me seem (in the vast majority) to just want to remember those who have been lost.

I disagree too. I think many people would feel some comfort at knowing that their loved ones were still remembered and thought about.
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Bobsyer · 05/12/2021 17:32

This whole thread is grief tourism at its worst. Gossiping about real people's tragedies whilst hiding behind a pretence of "oh it made me feel so sad". I am astounded at the fact that people are being named

Could not disagree more. What a mean-spirited post in amongst what to me seem (in the vast majority) to just want to remember those who have been lost.

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84Win · 05/12/2021 17:24

I was very close with my cousin growing up - there was only 4 months between us.
One day, aged around 7, he and his best friend ran out into the road after school. His friend was hit by a car and died in front of my cousin on the road. It affected him profoundly.

Also, my elder brother had a friend who died of a diabetic episode aged 12.

I still think of both of these children regularly, and am paranoid about holding my daughter's hand next to roads as a result of the first incident.

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CaputApriDefero · 05/12/2021 17:14

A friend of mine woke up, checked the time on her phone and saw a text message one night from a friend. They were close but he'd seemed a bit down of late and she was worried about his mental state. She'd tried to get him to talk and he would always get snappy about it. But this night he asked if they could talk soon. She said of course, and asked if he wanted to come round for a cuppa the next day, but then fell back asleep. She was early in pregnancy and had hyperemesis so she was exhausted from another day of relentless sickness. She woke in the morning to a good dozen messages where he was professing his eternal love for her and his regret that he never spoke up before she met her partner and he felt he had lost the chance forever now that she was having a baby. Last message said thanks so much for all your friendship and he wanted her to know he loved her until the end. She was alarmed, called him- no answer, called his sister who sent her husband round to his house and found him hanging from the banister.
She lights a candle for him every year on his birthday and still cries when she talks about him.

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Cheeseandlobster · 05/12/2021 17:12

Please don't use full names people. Some people might not want their past shared in the public domain and for good reason

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DoingTheBestICan · 05/12/2021 16:58

Not my memory but my DMs, about 1 year before I was born my DMs eldest brother, who had just turned 18 was called into work on overtime.
He worked for the council and there had been a car crash and someone was needed to brush the glass off the road. Duncle had just found out his gf was pregnant and he wanted the cash to buy an engagement ring. It was 2 weeks before Christmas.

Off he went to work, and tragically he was struck by a HGV as he brushed the glass from the road.

My DM, who was 16 at the time answered the knock on the door to 2 policemen asking to speak to her parents, she said she can still hear the cry from my poor Nana and she just kept saying to the policemen, 'you're wrong, he'll be home in a minute'

Nana then stood in the front room window all night looking out for him to walk up the road. I can't stop thinking about the tragedy of it all and my poor Nana & Grandad having to bury their first born child a week before Christmas.

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Comtedemontecristo · 05/12/2021 16:52

Once met a lovely guy in a pub and spent the whole night chatting, we really clicked and I was floating on air. We arranged a date for the next night but he didn't turn up. Of course I was disappointed but found out the next week that he'd been killed on his way home the night we'd met. 40 years ago but I still remember him

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MrsDSalvatore · 05/12/2021 16:43

A girl in my school the year above. I was 8 she was 9. She was murdered by a 14 year old boy. I remember her being missing and how the place I lived felt so dark. I remember the helicopters out at night looking for her and eventually finding her. I'm in my 30s an the sound of a helicopter at night still takes me back and fills me with the same horrible dread I felt back then.

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MistandMud · 05/12/2021 16:36

The 17-year-old ex-boyfriend of a 14-year-old friend, who threatened to kill himself if she didn't go back to him. We all agreed there was no way she should give in to a threat (and we hadn't even heard of emotional blackmail yet). He died of suicide the next day in his car. We were all shocked and appalled but with just a slight edge of 'lucky escape for Becky' about it.

Then I was at my grandmother's house that afternoon when her next door neighbour came round and stood at the door, silent and white, and my tough as boots old grandma leapt up and took the woman in her arms, saying 'Oh Maureen dear, oh my love, come in, my poor love, your lovely lovely lad.'

Same boy.

Even now I don't know whether to think of him as a neighbour's lovely lad or a potentially controlling young man.

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Luredbyapomegranate · 05/12/2021 16:28

A girl a bit above me at my 80s minor public school. She was one of very few non-white kids. I’m not aware anyone was racist to her face, or that she was bullied, but there were passing casual racist comments about her. She didn’t seem to fit in, was maybe quite shy, but seemed happy in herself and bright. She died of an asthma attack while at the sixth form ball. I haven’t thought of her for ages, but I felt sad she wasn’t properly appreciated at school - and she never got a chance to build a life where she would have been. She was a very average looking girl, but she has a lovely smile and a peaceful air.

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ElsieMc · 05/12/2021 15:42

This thread has brought back memories for me. My friend Hywel who got out of his depth with an older crowd at 16 who took a car from a party and crashed into rocks nearby and was killed instantly. Such a tragedy for a young man who was kind and with such promise.

My close friend Pam who disappeared from school one day with no explanation from the teachers. Both parents were killed in a helicopter accident and she was taken to live with family elsewhere. I never saw her again.

Another friend disappeared from Infant School when his dad was shot dead by another family member. We reunited later as some of his family moved next door to us. We spent happy summers playing together.

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