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WTF! Random man comment
291

KatherineJaneway · 04/12/2021 15:29

Out in a busy, lively restaurant last night catching up with a good friend. Been there about an hour when a random man walks up to our table and says to me directly 'Do you ever smile?'

I was a bit confused in the moment as I had no idea who he was and my friend and I had been talking, so I was like 'excuse me?' I must have moved from what was clearly a resting bitch face to a smile and he was like 'Oh, you do' and he walked off. I mean, why do that?

YABU - he's making conversation
YANBU - you're right, he's an annoying twat

OP's posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

5128gap · 04/12/2021 18:01

@LuluBlakey1

I remember being about 25 and out with a group of 5 of 6 friends. One of them was getting married and we'd gone out for early cocktails followed by a meal. Nothing too wild. As we were getting ready to leave the cocktail place about 8, a man, about 60, who I had seen watching us came over , put his hand on my friend who was getting married's arm and said smirking, 'A plain face like yours sometimes hides a good heart' and walked away. Only she and I heard because the others had started towards the door. She was so embarrassed and we tried to dismiss it by saying he was an old drunk and really rude and an absolute knacker etc but I could see she was shaken and upset.
She was absolutely stunning on her wedding day and I always hope she never thought of that horrible man and his nasty comment again.

Thats such an upsetting story. My friend was once asked how come someone as ugly as her had such good-looking friends (not a stealth brag, I wasn't one of the friends with her) This happened over 30 years ago and she mentioned it only the other day. She often refers to herself as ugly. She isn't.
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SarahDippity · 04/12/2021 18:02

Whenever a random man starts to chat, I arrange my face to ‘confused-then-recognition’ and say ‘sorry, I didn’t recognise you at first, you’re (any child’s name) Alex’s grandad aren’t you?’

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Glassofshloer · 04/12/2021 18:11

Fuck sake what a twat! Why do men always make the ‘smile’ comments? Are we merely pretty little ornaments that must light up in their presence & provide visual positivity to men wherever we go?!

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SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/12/2021 18:13

[quote aspirational]Here you go OP, how to deal with that Brandon man

m.youtube.com/watch?v=AX4sf1JVY24[/quote]
Love it!

(Particularly liked the masked woman who was disposing of a body . . . )

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GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 04/12/2021 18:13

Surely you know YANBU. No man has the right to tell a woman to SMILE to make herself look more appealing to HIM.

What the fuck are men thinking when they say this?

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JesusSufferingFuck22 · 04/12/2021 18:23

I was speaking to a (male) counsellor about a similar scenario. I was out walking, which was getting difficult because of MS rearing it's ugly head and random guy says, "cheer up it might never happen."
Counsellor says to me "There's only one correct response to that really, it's FUCK OFF."

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my8thMNusername · 04/12/2021 18:24

My thought was pick up line.

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mbosnz · 04/12/2021 18:24

@JesusSufferingFuck22

I was speaking to a (male) counsellor about a similar scenario. I was out walking, which was getting difficult because of MS rearing it's ugly head and random guy says, "cheer up it might never happen."
Counsellor says to me "There's only one correct response to that really, it's FUCK OFF."


That's my kind of counsellor! Where do I get me one of those Grin
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Gargellen · 04/12/2021 18:25

@Chesneyhawkes1

I remember a similar thread ages ago when the lady replied "thank you for your comment random man"

.....random ugly man with bad breath". Even better
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Watchingyouwazowski · 04/12/2021 18:25

There are too many posts like this. I don’t mean you were wrong to post OP, I mean men are just total dicks!

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Rawmum30 · 04/12/2021 18:27

About 15 years ago, I was walking quite hurriedly to a hospital appointment that I was anxious about and was on the verge of being possibly late, so I was fully focused on getting there.
I was semi aware of a chap cycling towards me, and as he approached and passed me, he said “oh, you’re so fucking ugly”.
He had gone before I could register what he had said properly, and I proceeded to get to my appt.
However, it took months for me to get over it.
I felt stupid for feeling so affected, and that a strangers comment shouldn’t matter to me.
My self esteem isn’t that high anyway, so it was all too easy to believe that his comment was true, and I honestly worried that was how everyone saw me…
now I know looks shouldn’t be the sole reason one is valued, but I felt so ashamed, and it took quite some time to try socialising again.
I told one or two people close to me about it, and of course they “rationalised” it by saying that maybe his mental health may be suffering.
However, it really bloomin sticks. Well, enough for me to have vivid memories of it all these years later.
Perhaps I’m at fault coz I’m too vain?

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Butchyrestingface · 04/12/2021 18:28

"Do you ever stop being a cunt?"

I'm beginning to really enjoy early middle age.

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Lilymossflower · 04/12/2021 18:28

I agree with a pp, you were looking Lovley and nice and confident and you needed putting back in your place because how dare a single woman look and feel good without a man (presuming you were with a female friend as cannot imagine a random man would do that to a woman who is sitting with a man because clearly she has been 'claimed' already and therefore not public property but under the ownership of the man)

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chloworm · 04/12/2021 18:29

@Hairycut

I find stony silence and a fixed, eye engaging stare before dropping my gaze down their body with a hint of a sardonic sneer effective.

Then say “not much to smile about here, is there?” in a similarly sardonic manner.
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justustwoandmoo · 04/12/2021 18:29

Absolute idiot. Says a lot about him and his need to put people down though. Feel sorry for him and glad you don't treat people that way Smile. You did well not to tell him where to go x

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SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/12/2021 18:29

@ChargingBuck

I've had people say "cheer up, it might never happen" to me, and I'm a man! I think calling a women he wasn't intimate/close with "love" makes it inappropriate, but otherwise this isn't necessarily sexist.

Thanks for popping by to mansplain sexism to the laydeez, Random Man.

Grin Grin Grin
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girlmom21 · 04/12/2021 18:33

@Rawmum30 you're not too vain. He's a cunt.

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Onlinedilema · 04/12/2021 18:37

I like the poster's response who said Oh you are Alex's grandad aren't you?
Either that or "Fuck off sex pest!" Said in a loud voice.

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notacooldad · 04/12/2021 18:42

I remember about 35 years ago me and my boyfriend were in a pub and a bloke walk past us and told us to cheer up, it may never happen.
He left when we told him, Actually something has happened our close friend died in a car crash that morning.
Why do people insist on butting in and intruding. Honestly Fuckers, the lot of them. They've no clue how to read a room!

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Atmywitsend29 · 04/12/2021 18:46

I got as far as "do you ever smile". Angry What a tool.

Btw, bloody LOVE your name, Cap'n.

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Rawmum30 · 04/12/2021 18:49

Thank you girlmum, that’s so kind of you.
You know it doesn’t really matter if I am ugly to look at, he had an ugly mind that enabled him to say that.
Smiling or being pretty is a requirement for some men’s egos.

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Strawing · 04/12/2021 18:53

@ChargingBuck

I've had people say "cheer up, it might never happen" to me, and I'm a man! I think calling a women he wasn't intimate/close with "love" makes it inappropriate, but otherwise this isn't necessarily sexist.

Thanks for popping by to mansplain sexism to the laydeez, Random Man.

Hear hear.
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COL1N · 04/12/2021 19:03

100% twat

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Nancydrawn · 04/12/2021 19:04

It always makes me think of the end of this scene from Broad City:

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fedup078 · 04/12/2021 19:07

@Rawmum30 he probably did this kind of thing at least five time a day until (hopefully) he got the wrong person and had the shit kicked out of him

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