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WTF! Random man comment
291

KatherineJaneway · 04/12/2021 15:29

Out in a busy, lively restaurant last night catching up with a good friend. Been there about an hour when a random man walks up to our table and says to me directly 'Do you ever smile?'

I was a bit confused in the moment as I had no idea who he was and my friend and I had been talking, so I was like 'excuse me?' I must have moved from what was clearly a resting bitch face to a smile and he was like 'Oh, you do' and he walked off. I mean, why do that?

YABU - he's making conversation
YANBU - you're right, he's an annoying twat

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

COL1N · 04/12/2021 19:09

@Nancydrawn 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Katieandthekids · 04/12/2021 19:29

Omg that's so fucking rude

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SomebodysMum · 04/12/2021 19:39

I hope I would have replied

‘Do you ever not act like a cunt?

I’d probably have just smiled awkwardly though, sad but true.

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EmmaWoodhousestreehouse · 04/12/2021 19:41

Cheeky fucker. You should have thrown your drink over him.

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GetOffTheTableMabel · 04/12/2021 19:47

@SarahDippity

Whenever a random man starts to chat, I arrange my face to ‘confused-then-recognition’ and say ‘sorry, I didn’t recognise you at first, you’re (any child’s name) Alex’s grandad aren’t you?’

This is genius. I am going to use it and tell my daughters too. I love it.

Also, thank you @ChargingBuck. That needed doing and I was too irritated to do it properly.
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shouldistop · 04/12/2021 20:01

I hate these idiotic men that do shit like this.

When I was about 16/17 and about 8 stone, so very slim, a random Middle Aged guy came up to me and told me I should lose a bit of weight while I was waiting for a bus. What an utter cunt.
Ive had loads of 'smile, it might never happen' or comments on what I'm eating or drinking etc. I'm mostly left alone now as I'm always out with 2 small children in tow Grin

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LemonJelly76 · 04/12/2021 20:08

What a prick

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Pyewackect · 04/12/2021 20:18

Just ignore people like that. You don't know who they are and its safer.

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Hairycut · 04/12/2021 20:26

@Pyewackect

Just ignore people like that. You don't know who they are and its safer.

Sorry, no. We need to call out this kind of shit. And it was in a busy place so no immediate danger.
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MarshaBradyo · 04/12/2021 20:31

What would you say Hairycut?

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ChargingBuck · 04/12/2021 20:32

Fair dues! Couldn’t have said it better. The NAMALTs are a pain, but worse still are the misogynistic mansplainers who think they have the god given right to decide what sexism/misogyny is and then feed it back to women who actually experience this on a day to day basis.

Cheers @BeardyButton. & don't get me started on men explaining feminism to me.
Or {shudder} telling me what excellent feminists they are. Don't feckin' tell me - show me. Live it. & STFU when the grown women are talking.

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Hairycut · 04/12/2021 20:34

@MarshaBradyo

What would you say Hairycut?

I've already commented on how I dealt with this kind of moron. Thankfully I'm too old and craggy for this kind of unwanted attention these days.
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blissfulllife · 04/12/2021 20:39

I had something similar in the summer. I explained I have a facial palsy. He scuttled off like the twat he is.

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user1999952776 · 04/12/2021 20:59

I really wish we didn’t have to deal with this stuff anymore.

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AngelinaFibres · 04/12/2021 21:02

@prettyteapotsplease

"Are you always this rude or is this a special occasion?"

Oh I am filing that one away in my brain
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Pyewackect · 04/12/2021 21:09

Just ignore people like that. You don't know who they are and its safer.

Sorry, no. We need to call out this kind of shit. And it was in a busy place so no immediate danger.

Had a similar encounter in a restaurant when I was a student nurse. He said smile love, I came back with a smart-arse reply. It then escalated into an exchange of insults and he was asked to leave. He then followed me home and stalked me for a good 12 months after that. It only stopped when, on advice from the Police, I transfered to a totally different area and trust. And it was the Police who advised me to ignore strange comments from random men.

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AngelinaFibres · 04/12/2021 21:11

A man behind the bar said to me "Gosh what's the matter with you , you look really fed up". I was at a wake .......it was my father's wake. The hotel this man was working in was owned by his wife and every single person in that bar , including me, was dressed head to toe in black . Tiny clue that he shouldn't have expected wall to wall smiling that afternoon. He did have the good grace to look totally mortified when I pointed out why I was there and why I wasn't looking as if I was about to break into a medley of songs from The Greatest Showman

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TamzinGrey · 04/12/2021 21:20

I'm old now and random men are (thankfully) no longer interested in me, but I used to get this all of the time when I was young, and it breaks my heart that it still hasn't gone away. With me it used to be "Cheer up darling - it might never happen" mostly from bus drivers weirdly, but also from men just walking past me on the street.
I was so shy then, and used to cringe when it happened. Looking back I wonder what response they were hoping for.

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Noonoo8589 · 04/12/2021 21:26

I hate that! I use to get this all the time.

Our health and safety manager at work greeted me with “for god sake smile, it might never happen!” as I walked up from the car park on my first day back at work after having nearly a month off when my mum died. I just had a normal non expression on my face minding my own business.
She worked at the same place as me so he knew her and what had happened and thought that was an appropriate thing to say.

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Hairycut · 04/12/2021 21:31

@Pyewackect

Just ignore people like that. You don't know who they are and its safer.

Sorry, no. We need to call out this kind of shit. And it was in a busy place so no immediate danger.

Had a similar encounter in a restaurant when I was a student nurse. He said smile love, I came back with a smart-arse reply. It then escalated into an exchange of insults and he was asked to leave. He then followed me home and stalked me for a good 12 months after that. It only stopped when, on advice from the Police, I transfered to a totally different area and trust. And it was the Police who advised me to ignore strange comments from random men.

Sorry that happened to you but I don't think in general the answer is to allow this behaviour to go unchecked.

I can understand why you wouldn't want to challenge anyone having had that awful experience. I've told plenty of men to fuck the fuck off and keep fucking off and then fuck off some more with no repercussions so I suppose o see things differently.
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Iamnotamermaid · 04/12/2021 21:32

It the weird ones. In the supermarket and buying a box of beer (for a rare weekend away). Looking for bar code to scan it - random little man from behind says 'make sure you buy the right beer'. Repeats to make sure I heard him and then runs.

About to go for a run. I like to walk the first minute or so to warm up. During this minute the ddd idiot has to go 'well start running then' or 'off you go' or if I am already running 'you'll never win a race at that speed'. This comment is always by a man who has clearly never run a step in his life (think it was a golfer). I just reassure them that 'yes I will start running when I am ready petal/munchkin/little cherub ' For some reason they do not like been referred to as petal etc.and you get a miserable 'well cheer up then, just trying to be friendly' etc. Or I just tell them to fuck off if I cannot be bothered.

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SisterAgatha · 04/12/2021 21:35

Question; Do you ever smile?

Response; Do you ever wash?

{insert confused look here}

Oh sorry I thought that was the game?

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tallduckandhandsome · 04/12/2021 21:45

What a dickhead. I’m tempted to say I wish you hadn’t smiled but that smacks of victim blaming.

You’re right, he was an annoying twat.

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rightsideoftheroad · 04/12/2021 21:53

@Kosmin have you had people shout that at you in the street, while you're standing alone minding your own business? Or a random saying that to you while you sit in the pub having a chat with your friend? I highly doubt it.

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maddening · 04/12/2021 22:17

Oh do fuck off you tedious prick - is a good retort

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