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WTF! Random man comment
291

KatherineJaneway · 04/12/2021 15:29

Out in a busy, lively restaurant last night catching up with a good friend. Been there about an hour when a random man walks up to our table and says to me directly 'Do you ever smile?'

I was a bit confused in the moment as I had no idea who he was and my friend and I had been talking, so I was like 'excuse me?' I must have moved from what was clearly a resting bitch face to a smile and he was like 'Oh, you do' and he walked off. I mean, why do that?

YABU - he's making conversation
YANBU - you're right, he's an annoying twat

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

HunterGatherer · 15/12/2021 12:16

You don't have to practise retorts OP. All you need to say is "Fuck off mate"

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Emanchego · 15/12/2021 12:02

Sounds like he's got a complex 🥴

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Mumcicle · 15/12/2021 12:00

I’m reading this and have PINK singing in my head “I’m not here for your entertainment” :D

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Madamum18 · 10/12/2021 18:03

Response

"Do you ever realise how rude you are?. Now go away, I'm talking to my friend!! "

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ddl1 · 10/12/2021 16:35

A random old woman passing me said to me “cheer up, it might never happen”

I hate that expression! Especially as you never know whether something awful has happened.

Women occasionally use it (usually, however, just 'cheer up' without the horrible ending); but it's far commoner from men.

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Geppili · 10/12/2021 16:27

Utter twat

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Salmakia · 10/12/2021 15:28

Was wondering who the 1% were that voted YABU and then I found the man in the thread that doesn't think this is sexism Hmm

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MrsTerryPratchett · 10/12/2021 15:16

Oh FGS, it’s not just men that make these comments to women!

I call Diet Coke ad.

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MrsAmaretto · 10/12/2021 14:28

What a dick. I now turn the tables on these fuckers, I’ve went across to a man who told me to cheer up and explained that my mum had died so why the fuck would I be cheery and what business was it off his and how dare he. He looked utterly terrified like I was some mad woman. I just won’t put up with these fuckers anymore.

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MrsR2018 · 10/12/2021 12:38

Oh FGS, it’s not just men that make these comments to women! Regardless of who says it to who, it’s in appropriate and uncalled for.

I was once walking back up my hill home (it’s very steep, long hill and I’m admittedly rather unfit) following the nursery run one summer morning earlier this year.
A random old woman passing me said to me “cheer up, it might never happen”
I was to out of breath to even think of a response! It really made me self conscious though because I was already acutely aware of how unfit I am and clearly struggling on said walk home.

People can be so inconsiderate and rude.

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Fluffmum · 07/12/2021 13:14

Typical80s line. He’s an ass

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RedRobin100 · 07/12/2021 04:19

100% dickhead

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sue20 · 07/12/2021 03:54

I was going to type that this sounded like someone with a mental health issue until I saw the responses!! Wow is it a thing? Not happened to me. He’d have just got a dropped jaw! Think when I was about 16 you’d get sad old Casanova types Doing this sort of thing. But that was the 60s thought things had moved on! How pathetic.

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Missushbb · 06/12/2021 23:17

i used to get this a lot, when i was a teenager. totally inappropriate. Can't believe he actually came over to
you in a restaurant.

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MarshmallowSwede · 06/12/2021 23:09

It’s moments like this where I wish all women actually did know witchcraft.

A nice testicle shriveling spell would teach him a good lesson.

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fetchacloth · 06/12/2021 22:58

YANBU he's being a twat.
What's it got to with him whether or not you're smiling? Sod all.

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kittenkipper · 06/12/2021 22:56

Oh god. Can't believe some responses here amounting to - the man could have some heartache and you should "be kind!

Why is it theses defenders of bastards never apply the same to the women in question?! SHE HAS TOLD US SHE STRUGGLED TO GO OUT. SHE FEELS SILLY AND EMBARRASSED. IT WAS HARD AND UPSETTING FOR HER. We know this. We don't know anymore about the man other than what he did to her and yet posters ignore all that we know about the op.

Op he's a dick. And if he has good reason for being so I don't give a shit. That wouldn't give him permission to accost women for no reason beyond his ego. No man has ever done this to another man and yet there are few women who have never been instructed by some cock to "smile" .

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mycatisannoying · 06/12/2021 22:35

Ooh, I fucking hate men like this!

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ddl1 · 06/12/2021 22:32

@WiseMitera69

No I'm not some random man!
But it doesn't cost anything for someone to smile.
And remember we are only getting one part of the "story" there's always 2 sides.
Maybe the guy had his own demons to fight, maybe the woman reminded him of a lost love one.
We've become a nation that's too quick to judge!

This is not about relationships, in which there might be two sides. It's about male strangers going around making rude comments to female strangers. Yes, one individual might have some backstory, though 'Do you ever smile?' would be an odd reaction to someone looking like a lost loved one, but it can't explain the frequency with which this sort of thing happens.

And smiling because some random stranger has ordered you to does cost something: your dignity and your honesty. If you are constantly giving smiles to order, then your 'real' smiles are likely to mean less, The currency has been debased.
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ddl1 · 06/12/2021 22:27

@WiseMitera69

We've spent nearly 2 years behind masks, and so many of us have suffered from mental health issues not seeing a smiling face.
Maybe you're overreacting.

This sort of thing was happening long before the pandemic. You can't blame EVERYTHING on Covid and its resulting restrictions. And if it was that - why is it nearly always men demanding smiles from women, rather than the other way round?
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KatherineJaneway · 06/12/2021 20:44

But it doesn't cost anything for someone to smile.

@WiseMitera69 So I am meant to smile constantly in public even when inappropriate to do so? Are you this man? I think you might be.

And remember we are only getting one part of the "story" there's always 2 sides.

Are you kidding me? I have related what happened. I have never seen this man before and he didn't reappear at our table after this encounter. This is not a relationship, it was a short exchange. There are no 'sides'.

Maybe the guy had his own demons to fight, maybe the woman reminded him of a lost love one.

Oh please.

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MarshaBradyo · 06/12/2021 19:00

Negligee has it.

Spot on

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Maireas · 06/12/2021 18:59

@Negligee - absolutely!

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IntermittentParps · 06/12/2021 18:59

No, we’ve become women who are thoroughly sick of being regarded as some form of street decoration by random male strangers who feel entitled to interrupt us while we’re minding our own business and require us to buy in to their delusion that a male presence makes us smile.

Damn right I’m judging. Deal with your own demons, Random Man. Funny how women’s ‘demons’ never make them require make strangers to rearrange their expressions to look prettier. Odd that

Indeed. For the love of Christ what are you on about, WiseMitera69?!?

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Negligee · 06/12/2021 18:57

@WiseMitera69

No I'm not some random man!
But it doesn't cost anything for someone to smile.
And remember we are only getting one part of the "story" there's always 2 sides.
Maybe the guy had his own demons to fight, maybe the woman reminded him of a lost love one.
We've become a nation that's too quick to judge!

No, we’ve become women who are thoroughly sick of being regarded as some form of street decoration by random male strangers who feel entitled to interrupt us while we’re minding our own business and require us to buy in to their delusion that a male presence makes us smile.

Damn right I’m judging. Deal with your own demons, Random Man. Funny how women’s ‘demons’ never make them require make strangers to rearrange their expressions to look prettier. Odd that. Grin
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