Page 17 | Aibu to be absolutely furious at friend

JustLyra · 2021-12-02T00:37:46+00:00

Four of us in a friend group. We all do nice birthday presents for each other, and have done for 10+ years. One of the group is having a tough time and is in the middle of moving house so we decide to do a small gift and a voucher so that it’s easier with our move. Two of us also made clear we felt a voucher was a better option atm because friend is going to have to lot a house from top to bottom rather unexpectedly the other agreed. They offered to take the money and sort the voucher and a nice card. They then decided, without any discussion, that there was “too big a risk” our friend would buy practical and boring stuff and not treat themselves. So they’ve bought a fucking Costa Coffee voucher. Basically so they can only buy coffees and cakes. Aibu to think that that’s completely out of order, and a shit present

Tillow4ever · 04/12/2021 13:59

Glad your other friend feels the same as you. The three choices presented are sensible.

If your friend doesn’t choose the option to sell to your MIL you will know she either paid £65 for it or she didn’t buy the vouchers. Because she’s already said she wouldn’t use the vouchers herself, so why wouldn’t she take the option to get the money fully back?

Your MIL is very good to make this offer.

BertramLacey · 04/12/2021 14:12

I don't like Costa but I can well see that for some people getting a cup of coffee in a coffee shop would be a treat. It's relatively inexpensive and somebody else is doing the washing up.

Lightswitch123 · 04/12/2021 14:14

Costa is not nice . I'd be v annoyed

shouldistop · 04/12/2021 14:23

I'd place a bet on voucher buying friend either having the Costa voucher already or buying it and getting the money off. It doesn't make any sense that she bought it when birthday friend doesn't go to Costa often and you already agreed what to get.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 04/12/2021 15:31

"Knit and natter" - what a great idea! And I dont even knit...

LadyEloise1 · 04/12/2021 17:53

It will be interesting to see what voucher buying friend chooses from your three options @JustLyra
I'm glad your other friend has agreed with you. Rightly so. I'd be fuming.

HarrisonStickle · 04/12/2021 18:12

@JustLyra

Holiday friend is even more pissed off than I am.

We’ve told buying friend that for us the three options are - she buys the voucher we agreed on and does whatever she likes with the Costa voucher; she brings the voucher and receipt to mine, my MIL will buy it to use for knit and natter and we’ll buy the original voucher; or she returns our money and we’ll sort our own present.

Think she's going to struggle with providing a receipt for an £80 voucher...

Don't be surprised if it suddenly becomes "lost"

Hawkins001 · 04/12/2021 18:29

Sounds like, although intended well, they made a pickle

Glumgal · 04/12/2021 18:52

I'm not surprised you and holiday friend are pissed off. In your original post you didn't mention the amount so I was thinking it was like £20 or something, then you said it was £80!!! Who the fuck would want that as a present!? I received a £5 Costa voucher as a token gift in the summer and it took me ages to spend that. Your MIL sounds lovely and if voucher buying friend has has any sense she'll jump at the chance to offload the voucher ASAP. Definitely wouldn't be giving her the job of gift buying in future though!

TractorAndHeadphones · 04/12/2021 18:57

Well done for having a backbone OP!
Waiting to see what happens

BronwenFrideswide · 04/12/2021 19:02

@JustLyra

Holiday friend is even more pissed off than I am.

We’ve told buying friend that for us the three options are - she buys the voucher we agreed on and does whatever she likes with the Costa voucher; she brings the voucher and receipt to mine, my MIL will buy it to use for knit and natter and we’ll buy the original voucher; or she returns our money and we’ll sort our own present.

Good options, be interesting to see what buying friend goes for.

I don't knit, rather I can't knit, but I love the sound of Knit and Natter and good on your MIL for making that one of the options.

Original poster

JustLyra · 04/12/2021 19:09

Very little knitting happens at knit and natter 😂

Haven’t heard back from my friend yet.

OP posts:

SnekkinOnDown · 04/12/2021 19:20

Can't believe your friend would do that ! £80 on a coffee chain for somebody that doesn't drink coffee from there?!

I hope you get it sorted op.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/12/2021 19:25

@JustLyra

Holiday friend is even more pissed off than I am.

We’ve told buying friend that for us the three options are - she buys the voucher we agreed on and does whatever she likes with the Costa voucher; she brings the voucher and receipt to mine, my MIL will buy it to use for knit and natter and we’ll buy the original voucher; or she returns our money and we’ll sort our own present.

Wonder what she will choose to do

If doesn’t bring the receipt then obv suss

AngelonTopoftheTree · 04/12/2021 19:35

@JustLyra

Very little knitting happens at knit and natter 😂

Haven’t heard back from my friend yet.

I was in a similar group that we called Stitch and Bitch 😆 we are all lovely though, and not at all bitchy.

Nothing7 · 04/12/2021 19:48

@JustLyra

Holiday friend is even more pissed off than I am.

We’ve told buying friend that for us the three options are - she buys the voucher we agreed on and does whatever she likes with the Costa voucher; she brings the voucher and receipt to mine, my MIL will buy it to use for knit and natter and we’ll buy the original voucher; or she returns our money and we’ll sort our own present.

I’m not surprised! You’ve both got good reason to be annoyed!

icelollycraving · 04/12/2021 20:44

I suspect you won’t see the receipt.

CrankyFrankie · 04/12/2021 21:50

Bore off @AdobeWanKenobi, isn’t it enough to read all the OP’s thread plus the first batch of replies anymore? Sorry my free time doesn’t extend to sifting through your banal bs too.

TolkiensFallow · 04/12/2021 22:03

To be honest I think you are really decent to give her the options! I’d be so annoyed if a friend did this.

ImustLearn2Cook · 05/12/2021 00:00

I’m glad your friend feels the same way as you do and you can both put your foot down and sort it.

I hope your birthday friend has a great birthday and things get better for her soon.

sue20 · 05/12/2021 02:34

I would feel pissed off about it being horrible Costa. Dodgy to confine choice in that way. But maybe she loves Costa

MrsToothyBitch · 05/12/2021 10:49

I am very interested as to whether or not the receipt will appear. I would go with selling it to MiL as the expedient option where it would at least be used and wanted. Your MiL sounds lovely, OP! I would NEVER give or approve the giving of the Love To Shop vouchers mentioned upthread though unless I hated the recipient. I got £50 worth for my birthday from DM, tried to put them towards much needed new linens, combined with other bday cash and taking advantage of an epic sale offer at M&S. They proved such a bastard to spend that I begged her to buy them back off me and give me the cash. She did because she figured £50 credit for loads of shops she used would be easily spent. Ever tried putting one of the wee fuckers through a till? The rulez suggest those are not designed to be spent or at least not to be used in a practical, normal, useful manner. They got a shitey 1* review on Trust Pilot from DM as we did not enjoy our day shopping with a calculator in one hand, buying to hit the magic number per voucher rather than what she wanted and needed. The staff didn't look pleased to see them either.

@Foxylass I would be gutted with that, too. I don't really shop at Next either, for clothes or interiors and it's a lot of money! I hope it was at least useable on the brands they sell via directory!

AdobeWanKenobi · 05/12/2021 10:52

@CrankyFrankie

Bore off *@AdobeWanKenobi*, isn’t it enough to read all the OP’s thread plus the first batch of replies anymore? Sorry my free time doesn’t extend to sifting through your banal bs too.

appropriate username is appropriate.

And just so you are aware when buying gift cards for the coming season they are rarely refundable. Thought you might appreciate the warning. You've admitted you can't read a whole thread so you're totally buggered with the small print on a voucher.

Hopefully the banality of that will save someone losing money thanks to this thread.
Have a lovely day.

Cuck00soup · 05/12/2021 11:01

For those with love to shop vouchers you need to know the balance. Every time you spend something, write it on the back with a sharpie. If you spend £10:05 on a £10 card, it will be rejected.

You need to
a) spend under the balance,
b) tell the retailer to only put the balance on the card through as a card transaction then you can be the balance in cash or on another card. (If the retailer can't/won't do this,it's usually a training issue)
C) spend it online.

AdobeWanKenobi · 05/12/2021 11:10

@Cuck00soup

For those with love to shop vouchers you need to know the balance. Every time you spend something, write it on the back with a sharpie. If you spend £10:05 on a £10 card, it will be rejected.

You need to
a) spend under the balance,
b) tell the retailer to only put the balance on the card through as a card transaction then you can be the balance in cash or on another card. (If the retailer can't/won't do this,it's usually a training issue)
C) spend it online.

I don't like vouchers for this and other reasons and over on the Martin Lewis forum they have campaigned against them for years. Raising awareness over the restrictions of them, and often short use by dates, might be 'banal' but equally money-saving.

Put the cash in an envope and gift it. Less strings attached. Though I do appreciate the love to shop are borne from a savings club aren't they?