Aibu to be absolutely furious at friend

[JustLyra]

Four of us in a friend group.

We all do nice birthday presents for each other, and have done for 10+ years.

One of the group is having a tough time and is in the middle of moving house so we decide to do a small gift and a voucher so that it’s easier with our move.
Two of us also made clear we felt a voucher was a better option atm because friend is going to have to lot a house from top to bottom rather unexpectedly the other agreed. They offered to take the money and sort the voucher and a nice card.

They then decided, without any discussion, that there was “too big a risk” our friend would buy practical and boring stuff and not treat themselves.

So they’ve bought a fucking Costa Coffee voucher. Basically so they can only buy coffees and cakes.

Aibu to think that that’s completely out of order, and a shit present

@Plumbuddle

If someone did that to me and I could be prepared for the fallout, I would tell them I absolutely do not want to give a shabby Costa voucher and they should keep it for their own gradual use, putting the other two friends' money back in a new kitty. Costs tastes horrible and if you wanted a posh treat you most certainly would not go there.

Absolutely this^

At 16 I’d have probably loved a Costa voucher too - that’s totally different.

[quote JustLyra]@GertietheGherkin I’ve made my feelings known. The other person who chipped in is away atm, but I’ve said that I feel the voucher we agreed on (which can be used in any shop in the shopping centre where we live so could be used in a coffee shop if friend wanted, or could be used where she usually gets her nails done, or equally could be used for essentials if it’s needed) should be bought by the friend. That’s what our money was given for.

The reply was “Then what would I do with an £80 Costa voucher?”[/quote]
If she’s struggling to come up with an answer to what she’d do with an 80£ voucher, what brain fart did she have that made her think it was a good present?

I knew the "I'm fuming, I'm furious, I'm livid" original post would be about absolutely zero shit. Gotta !

I would be cross too. Even if she absolutely loved coffee, £80 in Costa seems ludicrous. That is such an odd gift.

£80 on bloody Costa?! I'd be fuming too OP

Does your other friend know about this yet? What does she think?

If you friend was moving house I'd have gotten them a just eat voucher as it would have come in handy in those few days whilst the kitchen was being unpacked

Costa is the grimmest most depressing, dullest coffee place in our small town. I would never use that voucher and would not consider it a treat in any sense of the word.

Yes, its a shit gift, what on earth was your friend thinking, how bizzare.
I think you need to get your friend to try to return it as to be honest. As someone else said she will often be spending it on you lot, thats the first thing I thought.

@LuluBlakey1

Costa is the grimmest most depressing, dullest coffee place in our small town. I would never use that voucher and would not consider it a treat in any sense of the word.

I agree. I think their coffee is really awful, so I wouldn't go near the place.

£80 on Costa is ridiculous. It would only ever make any sort of sense if someone was constantly travelling for work (in and out of airports, train stations etc) so were constantly buying coffees and breakfasts. Or a student who had a Costa near the library/uni campus. Then, yeah, it would get used fairly quickly and probably be a handy relief for a couple of weeks/months.

But for a regular person? Absolutely not. She’ll end up going into Costa every time she’s out now just to spend it, rather than actually wanting a coffee. And probably will be sick of Costa by the end of it.

I’d ask for my money back and buy friend something less shit. Friend who fucked up the gift can spend the card (and realise how piss poor it is).

£80 Costa voucher would useless for me as I don't really like the place - but my sister is a huge lover of their coffee, and would love this gift, and would feel as good as cash to her as she's there all the time. When she was having to tighten her purse strings for a while, the daily trips to Costa was the first "luxury" to go, as she couldn't justify the price.

If your friend enjoys her Costa trips, that's perhaps a couple of months worth of trips taken care of, without her having to worry about finding the money for it.

I actually think it's not a shit gift, if the friend goes to Costa - and is useless gift if she doesn't (I'm presuming she does go there though)

YABU to be furious, YANBU to be slightly miffed that she didn't consult you & the other donor.

I think she's gone for pocketing £15 for herself!

gifting.costa.co.uk/promotion

How awful! What a cheapskate!

"How it works
Offer applies to Gift Cards purchased from gifting.costa.co.uk only. GB residents 16+ only. Spend between £20 - £39 on a Costa Gift Card between 00.01 on Friday 26th November and 23.59 on Monday 29th November 2021 (the “Offer Period”) and receive an additional £5. Spend between £40 - £59 on a Gift Card during the Offer Period and you will receive an additional £10. Spend £60 or more on a Gift Card during the Offer Period and you will receive an additional £15. Select delivery ‘As soon as it is ready’ for this promotion to apply. This offer does not apply to Gift Cards to be delivered on a preferred future date outside the promotional dates. Offer limited to a maximum of 5 Gift Cards per person. Offer applies to purchase of new Costa Gift Cards only and excludes top-up of existing Gift Cards. For full terms and conditions see gifting.costa.co.uk/terms-and-conditions."

I wonder if there's any way to find out....!

Probably not but I'd be livid. That's not how you treat a friend. Does she have previous form?

Leave the group. Say why. Buy your own present. Learn from the experience and don't repeat it!

@PearlyShamps

£80 Costa voucher would useless for me as I don't really like the place - but my sister is a huge lover of their coffee, and would love this gift, and would feel as good as cash to her as she's there all the time. When she was having to tighten her purse strings for a while, the daily trips to Costa was the first "luxury" to go, as she couldn't justify the price.

If your friend enjoys her Costa trips, that's perhaps a couple of months worth of trips taken care of, without her having to worry about finding the money for it.

I actually think it's not a shit gift, if the friend goes to Costa - and is useless gift if she doesn't (I'm presuming she does go there though)

YABU to be furious, YANBU to be slightly miffed that she didn't consult you & the other donor.

She doesn’t go to Costa.

If she went to Costa I’d be irritated at the change, but not furious.

The reason I’m furious is that what should be a nice present for someone having a tough time has been turned into a voucher for a place she doesn’t go.

If buying friend had said “I bought a voucher for the hairdressers/nail place she goes so she doesn’t spend it on essentials”, again, I’d have been irritated at the change without consultation, but my anger is about the utter waste of money and thoughtlessness of it.

@thenewduchessofhastings

If you friend was moving house I'd have gotten them a just eat voucher as it would have come in handy in those few days whilst the kitchen was being unpacked

Several of her favourite take away places take the voucher we originally agreed to buy.

I'd ask for my share of the money back. Not much says "We don't really care" as much as an £80 coffee voucher!

I hate Costa coffee places so yes awful gift. If you are going with a voucher why not John Lewis ?

I'd be raging too.

A costa voucher for a teenager or someone who goes there all the time is a nice gift, but max £20.
It just feels like such a waste of money.
Even my friends who do go to Costa or Starbucks or whatever would agree.
I don't go so would be really peeved but even if it were for a cafe I liked I'd be a bit hmmm.

@HermioneHere

I wonder if there's any way to find out....!

Probably not but I'd be livid. That's not how you treat a friend. Does she have previous form?

I'd be tempted to be passive aggressive and say something like, "Oh, I thought you'd paid £80 so the voucher was going to be more than that because of the special offer they've had on". See what her face does to that!

Costa coffee's coffee is awful so not a treat

@JustLyra

One of the reasons I’m so pissed off is that our friend has had a really, really awful time.

To get such a thoughtless gift (as I’ve said a couple of times - she doesn’t even often go to Costa) from her closest friends at a shit time could be really upsetting.

The Costa friend is out of order (but I don't necessarily think they had nefarious intentions) but how was a gift voucher for "somewhere else" not a thoughtless gift?

A voucher that can be used anywhere in the shopping centre isn't special or thoughtful or particularly tailored to your friend having a tough time is it?

It's not on because it's not what was agreed. It's not acceptable to get money collected from a few people for an agreed purchase then unilaterally decide to get something else because you've decided only something you deem worthy can be bought. It's bloody arrogant for a start!

I think since your mil has said she'll buy it you have the perfect response.

Friend will not like this! I don't know why you got it when it wasn't what we agreed. Anyway, my mil says she'll buy it so give it and the receipt and I'll go get the vouchers we agreed on with the money mil will give me.

If your friend has indeed screwed you over, this will be instantly obvious.