Do people who talk of a 'forever home' forget they are going to age?

[flashbac]

Who wants to rattle around in a family home when the kids have left and you can no longer do the stairs? Are people intending on hogging a home too big for their needs until they die or am I missing something?

What is a 'forever home'?

We're looking for a 5+ bed house to raise our young dc and I could see us continuing to live there until DH and I are dead. I've only moved house a few times in my life and the thought of moving after 20-30 years of accumulating stuff sounds like a nightmare. Many family sized homes could have the downstairs converted so you could manage to live there without needing to go upstairs if you couldn't manage them. The main thing that would possibly motivate me to sell up and downsize would be to release equity for the dc/avoid inheritance tax, but there's no point speculating about the tax regime that far ahead.

@MrsBison my London is flat is worth the same as many 5 bed houses... UK isn't Hong Kong, Singapore or Luxembourg. Many people can afford 5 bed houses if they compromise on location, there are parts of the UK poorer than Bulgaria where literally anyone can afford a 5 bed house. Equally there are 1 bed flats that you have to be the top 1% of the country to afford.

@StoneofDestiny

I do wonder if some people on here think that when you retire or are widowed etc you should go squeeze yourself into a small box! People buy larger houses, or stay in their large houses, because they entertain a lot, want the large downstairs space and have visiting family and friends they want to 'put up'. Life goes on.

And there are those of us who are single our whole lives! I have no intention of living in a small house or a flat! So I am hogging a large four bedroom house for the foreseeable!

We bought our forever home when kids were 8 and 12. They are now 13 and 18. Plenty of rooms and space for every body including boy/Girl friends. 10 acres of land, 320 m2 House. Im not leaving . Love it.

@onlychildhamster

I suspect my 4 bedroom house in Kingswood is fairly pricey too.... (this still isnt my forever house though).

My house is a 3 bed mid terrace. I bought it in 2006 & I intend to stay here forever. The only thing that would make me leave is if the area became rough & I couldn’t stay here but I hope that doesn’t happen. I am 46 but I have already worked out how it will be the perfect house for me when I’m older. Currently I have a sittingroom, kitchen & playroom off the kitchen plus utility room & loo downstairs. If I wanted to be all on the bottom floor I will turn the sittingroom into my bedroom & playroom into a sittingroom. All I need to do is put a shower in the downstairs loo to make this workable & I intend to do this in the next few years(I’ve already measured it up). That will leave 3 bedrooms & 2 bathrooms upstairs either for my children to visit me or for lodgers if I need it. My garden is completely low maintenance. I have no grass only a large patio & flower beds & I am 5 mins walking distance to my local Tesco & 15 mins walk to the main town/train station. It’s perfect for an older person I love my house & I love the area. It is definitely my forever home.

@flashbac

Who wants to rattle around in a family home when the kids have left and you can no longer do the stairs? Are people intending on hogging a home too big for their needs until they die or am I missing something? What is a 'forever home'?

What utter cheek. I'll live where I like thank you very much.

I am planning to pass on our house down the generations. I hope it doesn't have to go to the National Trust one day.

am planning to pass on our house down the generations.
Oh I would hate to be burdened with that, I think it's so unfair to future generations.
So you have a big National Trust type house that you want to stay in the family. Unless you have millions of pounds (maybe you do) any will is goinging to be massively unfair to children who don't get the house.
Then the child who gets the house is going to feel they have to hand it on to the next generation. Same problem, massively unequal inheritance to the one who doesn't get the house.
I you were (un)lucky enough to get the house, well it might be nowhere near where you want to live plus, they cost a fortune to run. Very soon it's the family pile that somebody can't feel they can sell .
It's just a bad idea, honestly, if it was me I would rather the National Trust had it and my children were free to live where they want. Watch Country House Rescue, hand me down houses just look like a massive burden, the owners are always complaining and their children never want the house.
I appreciate not everyone thinks like me

@NellyBarney

I am planning to pass on our house down the generations. I hope it doesn't have to go to the National Trust one day.

😂😂😂

@anniegun

No worse than the term "Housing ladder"

So true. People used to just buy a home. Now they are 'getting on the property ladder'.

@Kendodd

am planning to pass on our house down the generations. Oh I would hate to be burdened with that, I think it's so unfair to future generations. So you have a big National Trust type house that you want to stay in the family. Unless you have millions of pounds (maybe you do) any will is goinging to be massively unfair to children who don't get the house. Then the child who gets the house is going to feel they have to hand it on to the next generation. Same problem, massively unequal inheritance to the one who doesn't get the house. I you were (un)lucky enough to get the house, well it might be nowhere near where you want to live plus, they cost a fortune to run. Very soon it's the family pile that somebody can't feel they can sell . It's just a bad idea, honestly, if it was me I would rather the National Trust had it and my children were free to live where they want. Watch Country House Rescue, hand me down houses just look like a massive burden, the owners are always complaining and their children never want the house. I appreciate not everyone thinks like me

Jesus, I think the pp was being ironic! They’ve got a “normal” family home that they want their children (and further generations) to benefit from.

I highly doubt that anyone with a property worthy of national trust status is going to be posting on this thread!

So true. People used to just buy a home. Now they are 'getting on the property ladder'.

The 'property ladder' isn't a new concept!

I never got onto the "property ladder". I rented my whole life until last year. At 57 I bought my first property ever, a derelict farmhouse which we are now restoring, which, we very much hope, will be our home forever. We are trying very much to future proof it, making sure it is very disability friendly etc. Also fully renewable energy powered. You never know what will happen in life but that is the plan.

The first house we bought was probably what could be described as a ‘forever home’… large 4 bed detached with big garden.
We’re not planning to stay long though, we don’t want to stay in this area forever. I spend a lot of time on Rightmove!

Ken What did I start It's not a massive country pile, but a large house (Queen Anne, what people think of when they draw a dolls house ), so it's not something my dc or grand children could easily buy in another place, and certainly not for the money they would get for it if they sold it, as it would be divided and the house is in a rather unfashionable, if very lovely, area. But it's just a great base for the whole family coming together, as it has 7 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a manageable but lovely large walled garden with water fountains and ponds, a large family kitchen-diner, seperate dining room, large formal drawing room and family snug, and useful cellars, secondary lower groundfloor family rooms, attic teenage den etc. So you can host and sleep comfortably dcs, grandchildren, friends, but the house doesn't feel massive or overwhelming when only two people live in it. Its all modernised with heat pump and isolated with sheep wool to the brim, so no especially costly to maintain either. It is rather something so far at least everyone in our family likes to keep as a base. It's only 30 minutes to amazing beaches and 2 national parks, so a lovely place for everyone to come to - and go off again. If it was sold and divided up amongst grandchildren (my dc will be too old to need an inheritance hopefully by the time we die, and they will have been given a deposit for their own homes from their grandparents), it wouldn't come to much more than a deposit on a small flat. So putting it in trust to be used by future generations seems much nicer. They can air b and b it if noone wants to live there full time, that's what we did before moving in full time.

@tropicalwaterdiver

I think it's part of housing problems in the UK that people stay in family homes till death and it's not unique when 1 person lives in 3-4 bedroom house and doesn't want to downsize.

Huh? So is it unique to UK that people want to live in their home that they’ve paid for over many years? And that is causing housing problems too? What a weird statement.

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

So true. People used to just buy a home. Now they are 'getting on the property ladder'.

The 'property ladder' isn't a new concept!

And isn’t it great that people can aspire to more than just a starter home.

I wonder whether the OP and others in agreement will be moving themselves into retirement villages or pokey flats the minute their DCs leave home? I was an older Mum but still only in my 50s when they left.
We started in a 2 up 2 down then moved to 3 beds. Stayed here rather than move somewhere bigger so that we would still be able to live here in our old age. And I'm not moving just because some bitter ageist people think we should be moving on to free up property for them.

Am wondering where OP would draw the line on people 'hogging' houses ? What about my single parent friend with one child - and there will be no more - who has a 4 bedroomed house? Or the many families I know with 2 children in 5 bedroomed houses? If you don't want to be seen as being ageist, then you need to treat others you consider to be living in houses bigger than they need in the same way. But no, only mentioning old people. Who aren't all too infirm to use stairs or reach the bathroom.

You’re taking the (crappy) phrase too literally. We live in our ‘forever home’, it’s our family home, a grown up house, large enough to bring up children, dogs, etc.

We plan on living in the French Alps when we retire 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've bought a 3 storey house, def not my forever home, but my son loves it as we are on the boundary of a nature reserve. He's asked me nit to sell it so he can have it. I think that's a strong possibility cos I'm planning to move into a posh static caravan when I retire, lol!

@NellyBarney

Ken What did I start It's not a massive country pile, but a large house (Queen Anne, what people think of when they draw a dolls house ), so it's not something my dc or grand children could easily buy in another place, and certainly not for the money they would get for it if they sold it, as it would be divided and the house is in a rather unfashionable, if very lovely, area. But it's just a great base for the whole family coming together, as it has 7 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a manageable but lovely large walled garden with water fountains and ponds, a large family kitchen-diner, seperate dining room, large formal drawing room and family snug, and useful cellars, secondary lower groundfloor family rooms, attic teenage den etc. So you can host and sleep comfortably dcs, grandchildren, friends, but the house doesn't feel massive or overwhelming when only two people live in it. Its all modernised with heat pump and isolated with sheep wool to the brim, so no especially costly to maintain either. It is rather something so far at least everyone in our family likes to keep as a base. It's only 30 minutes to amazing beaches and 2 national parks, so a lovely place for everyone to come to - and go off again. If it was sold and divided up amongst grandchildren (my dc will be too old to need an inheritance hopefully by the time we die, and they will have been given a deposit for their own homes from their grandparents), it wouldn't come to much more than a deposit on a small flat. So putting it in trust to be used by future generations seems much nicer. They can air b and b it if noone wants to live there full time, that's what we did before moving in full time.

I’ve tried a couple of times, but I can’t make sense of this post. Both in the way it’s written and un answer to the original question!

I’ll maybe try again tomorrow,

Also, who is Ken?

@Furries, Ken is poster KenDodd upthread

If my youngest dc leaves home at 30 I won't be 60 yet. I assume I'll still be working and won't have the luxury of "prattling around" for quite a few years still. In saying that I'm not a home owner anyway, so no worries about me hogging a 5 bed mansion that I'm too old for.

I love where I live.
When it is time for me to "prattle " around I will be happy to repurpose bedrooms.
One will be a yoga/meditation studio, another a craft/work room.
OH and I will have separate bedrooms.
Many elderly people can manage to climb stairs.