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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you change what drink you want when doing rounds at the pub?

203 replies

TheSoapyFrog · 01/12/2021 11:51

My OH gets the hump with me when we go to the pub as I order my favourite wine and it can cost between £6 - 8 for a large glass depending on where we are. His pint is usually £3 - 5.
He is a tight arse and I'm trying to come to terms with it, but I wonder if I should order a small glass or a cheaper drink when he's paying and order what I want when I pay.
He (half jokingly, I hope) said that I should buy him two pints when it's my round to make up for it. I told him that was ridiculous, but is it?

YABU - I should order a smaller/cheaper drink when it's not my round.

YANBU - order what I want

OP posts:
Fomofo · 02/12/2021 20:13

All our money is one pot so doesn't matter one jot

divface · 02/12/2021 20:58

£3 for a pint? What does he drink?

Insignificant amounts like this are not worth worrying about

RhubarbFairy · 02/12/2021 21:05

@gogohm

With dp it isn't an issue though, he would buy me champagne if I wanted it Grin
Exactly this for me too. My DH wouldn't bat an eyelid at anything I wanted to eat or drink. In fact when I've baulked at the cost of food/drink and said I'll have the cheaper option, he tells me not to be daft.

With friends I rarely go in rounds unless we are sharing a pitcher and then we'll buy one each.

Sheerdetermination · 02/12/2021 21:07

Well, I would ditch him. He’s not in it for the long game.

Newmum29 · 02/12/2021 21:21

I get this. I’ve never drunk beer and prefer specific types of wine but no matter what wine you choose it won’t be as cheap as a pint. No one has ever complained about it but to be honest I can’t drink wine as fast as most blokes drink beer so it evens out as I often skip a round (when it’s their turn) and still buy theirs when it’s mine.

DirtyDancing · 02/12/2021 21:42

I once went to a German bar in London which sells beer in 2pint Steins. Literally got a round for 8 people it it was bloody over £10 a stein. I wasn't even drinking that much that night. Literally never got over it! Couldn't believe people asked for a stein and Half didn't buy me back a drinks.. cause who can drink 8 steins.

DH shouldn't quibble over your wine, but if he's bothered just buy an extra round here and there

azimuth299 · 02/12/2021 21:43

I wouldn't take the piss by ordering a much more expensive drink in rounds with many people, but I don't think it can really be called buying rounds if it's just you and your partner. I would expect my partner to want me to have the drink I want and would find quibbling over a few pounds really unattractive.

anothername007 · 02/12/2021 21:44

LTB

Angrywife · 02/12/2021 22:38

If you specifically ask for a large, I'd be a bit pissed off.
When friends are paying I'd always ask for a small. When it's my round I always get them a large but I would find it cheeky if they specified it. Unless we were all on large drinks

mugoftea456 · 02/12/2021 22:40

With my partner I would order what I want.

Rounds with his mates or mines I wouldn't order a large unless everyone else was. Or a double spirit for example

Elle8344 · 03/12/2021 00:42

He sounds like my ex... he was a massive tight arse!!!!

LoisLane66 · 03/12/2021 10:45

For £6-8 you could buy a whole bottle of a very good wine if it was on offer, 25% off isn't too hard to find. Drink that at home but a cheaper one in the pub.

User3579 · 03/12/2021 10:51

That’s quite a price differential; I’d order a small glass.

CrazylazyJane · 03/12/2021 10:53

When buying rounds with friends I try to match their drinks -ie. if person buying rounds is in on cheaper drinks I wouldn't want to be on pricey drinks compared to them but with my partner, I don't think it matters. My DP is tight but that's next level stingey!

Tigerlilynuj · 03/12/2021 13:24

Yes you're right, he is a tight arse. Immediate turn off! If he's so bothered tell him you'll buy your own drinks. What a knob!

TractorAndHeadphones · 03/12/2021 14:03

@BaronessEllarawrosaurus

Tigger1895

No I don't think she should, however this isn't a long established couple, they don't live together, they don't have joint finances and the op is expecting him to basically sub her drinks so is he stingy or is she selfish? Maybe they should buy their own, she'd be spending more and he'd be spending less. There have been no examples of his tightness given other than this and I just don't think it's as clear cut as he's being mean. If the op was being generous then she would buy 2 rounds for each one of his to try to keep things more equal. If I was the bf I would buy without complaining though it would probably make me think a bit, If I was the op I couldn't stand by and let such unequal spending carry on, I'd either moderate my drinks or buy more to compensate for my more expensive one.

Exactly. All the people complaining about the OH being tight well it works both ways OP could also be entitled! I also don’t see why 2 people must do rounds. Normally we do it as a group to make it easier.
TractorAndHeadphones · 03/12/2021 14:22

@CrazylazyJane

When buying rounds with friends I try to match their drinks -ie. if person buying rounds is in on cheaper drinks I wouldn't want to be on pricey drinks compared to them but with my partner, I don't think it matters. My DP is tight but that's next level stingey!
Curious - why the difference between friends and partner? For the latter surely it depends on the dynamics of the specific relationship? I would consider it bad form for a partner to not attempt to equalise (assuming we’re similar earners) if we weren’t sharing money. If we were sharing money I’d expect the total to be roughly equal across all spending. So I wouldn’t be able to tell whether just buying rounds is fair as I don’t know what other contributions there are.

My friend group is in the habit of buying things for each other and it equalises so no, I wouldn’t begrudge them ordering expensive drinks as they’d make it up to me. They’re too polite to do that however

maofteens · 03/12/2021 16:11

If with mates I'd always chip in a bit more or buy the extra round. With a partner I wouldn't be doing rounds! Our money was our money not his and mine, and as he earned about 20 times what I did he always paid. If more equal earners id still get it out of the joint account. It's not like you will be having so many drinks. I'm sure there are other times when he has the more pricey meal or whatever.
My dad was extremely generous as was my husband - 'nickel and diming' is really unattractive.

PeachyPeachTrees · 03/12/2021 18:49

Just get your own drinks, I hate quibbling over petty amounts, ruins the evening.

TheGoogleMum · 03/12/2021 19:10

I dont lime beer. I prefer not to do rounds, it isnt fair because my drink is more expensive usually

josbd · 04/12/2021 06:15

Blx to that! You order whatever you bloody well like! No one is going to stop him ordering another should he drink his pint more quickly than you buzz your wine down, eh?

DeepaBeesKit · 04/12/2021 06:23

I would order a smaller glass.

standupsitdownturnaround · 04/12/2021 07:52

OP are you planning a child with this man?

backtolifebacktoreality · 04/12/2021 08:09

A friend would buy a soft drink for herself on her round and then a brandy when it's yours. You'd also have to wait ages after you'd finished your drink for her to get her round in!

I think that someone being mean with money most be the most unattractive quality!

Gearedtoyou · 04/12/2021 08:13

@backtolifebacktoreality

A friend would buy a soft drink for herself on her round and then a brandy when it's yours. You'd also have to wait ages after you'd finished your drink for her to get her round in!

I think that someone being mean with money most be the most unattractive quality!

Doesn't that just mean she didn't want as much to drink?

I like a drink but can't deal with hangovers anymore so I try to slow down. I do try to watch when others are "ready" and get my round before I've finished my drink but sometimes the conversation is more interesting than a drink!

She's still buying you the correct share of your drinks and you're matching what she buys you. Why does that make her tight?