Do you change what drink you want when doing rounds at the pub?

[TheSoapyFrog]

My OH gets the hump with me when we go to the pub as I order my favourite wine and it can cost between £6 - 8 for a large glass depending on where we are. His pint is usually £3 - 5.
He is a tight arse and I'm trying to come to terms with it, but I wonder if I should order a small glass or a cheaper drink when he's paying and order what I want when I pay.
He (half jokingly, I hope) said that I should buy him two pints when it's my round to make up for it. I told him that was ridiculous, but is it?

YABU - I should order a smaller/cheaper drink when it's not my round.

YANBU - order what I want

Where are you drinking that beer is £3-£5? It seems to be £6 at least here since the reopening!

I was wondering where people are paying £8 for a glass of wine.

@Hoppinggreen

I had a friend who was very tight. If we did rounds she would have a drink if we were paying but when it was her turn she would get us one but not herself, it was as if she didn’t like spend money on herself. Mind you, her Dad was awful to her and pretty much instilled it into her how worthless she was so I could see why she was like that. I didn’t mind as long as she bought my drink when it was her turn

Why is there anything wrong with her doing that?

If she doesn't want to drink as much, through either not wanting to get drunk or not wanting to spend so much, then that's exactly what she should do.

If 4 of you are in the group and she wants to have only 3 drinks not 4 then it works perfectly as she'll have bought 3 drinks and drunk 3 drinks and the rest of you bought 4 and drank 4

If she misses a drink on your round and still buys you a drink then that's not fair on her (if we're talking about keeping things 'fair'.)

No there isn’t anything wrong with it Sofia hence my “I didn’t mind” comment

@Wiredforsound

Where can you get a pint for £3? I paid nearly £6 last night?

#misses point of thread#

We're in the Midlands. Beer's pretty cheap around here.

Why on earth are you trying to come to terms with him being a tight arse?

How deeply unattractive he is. Respect yourself a lot more and find someone who is generous and kind towards you.

I thought on mn if you ever had more than one glass of wine you should go directly to AA

I have a friend who orders expensive drinks when everyone else is having pints. It is a tiny bit annoying as I wouldn't by a £9 spirit in the pub for myself.

But your DP is a different matter, that's tight!

Surely you mean ex partner? I hate stinginess or any hint of control over money as my exh was financially abusive.My best friend is very stingy. Will do everything to get out of buying a round. But I just smile and say its your turn. Firmly.

Just get a smaller glass and then he’ll save his precious three pounds. But seriously, question what sort of a partnership it is if he’s keeping tabs on every round and resenting it enough to bring it up. Is he planning to get the calculator out in restaurants in order to split the bill in a firmly itemised and separate way?

@ParkheadParadise

When I go out for a night out with friends (4 of us) we all put £30 in the kitty when we enter the pub. We top it up if it's needed.

That's not fair though if you have an eg g&t at £10 and someone else has a pint at £5.

We tend to stick in groups - wine drinkers order bottles, pint drinkers stay in their group, and the crazy cocktail drinkers - up to them.

If I go out with DH it all comes out in the wash, never really thought about it.

I’d never order wine or doubles, cocktails etc on a round with friends tbf.
Different with boyfriend/partner though, he buys me the expensive rounds

Just to answer a few questions raised:
I say OH but I guess he's my boyfriend, I just feel a bit saying that at nearly 40. He doesn't live with me. I have kids and they are not his.
He's generous in other ways, just not with money. It bothers me sometimes, but not enough that I would end the relationship.

I do match him drink for drink. I've just always had a high tolerance for alcohol and don't get drunk easily.

I'm in the South East and tbh I'm guessing at the price of a pint.

I don’t really think of cost.
I do think what is easiest to remember to get and bring back for whoever and least likely to come back a bit odd.
So if someone is buying a round I’ll be very likely to have a bottle of beer rather than say ‘large grey goose with diet fever tree on the side, lime not lemon and ice on the side’

He's generous in other ways, just not with money. It bothers me sometimes, but not enough that I would end the relationship.

Just be careful, OP. I've always found people mean with money are mean in other ways.

What a tight fucker.

When you say he isn't generous with money in what way? Some people's tight is other people's being sensible.

Get a medium or smaller glass ?

This is your OH?! Totally pathetic. My DP doesn’t drink so his often costs a third of what mine costs. He’d never complain about the cost, how unattractive and miserly.

There wouldn’t be much difference here- a pint of Peroni is £5.40 at our local in Ealing. But I was in Hammersmith the other day and ordered a large glass of house red- £9.10

He's very practical and good with his hands and makes up for it that way. When I moved into my house, the walls were in a bad state and he spent a long time sanding, filling, lining and painting. Last year I was taken to hospital and he took time off work to take care of me, the kids etc. There's loads of other stuff like this, and it balances out being tight fisted with money.

@Aprilx

If it were a friend I regularly drank with and I typically had a drink that cost twice as much as hers, I would not change my drink, but I would make sure it is me buying the extra odd numbered round.

It seems very petty with a partner, I can’t imagine being in that scenario to comment.

This!

I will change my drink to something cheaper if somebody else is buying the round. You have to be a bit of piss taker to deliberately order a double craft gin or glass of high end wine.

Commenting on the price, as if it were mates is meanness, mean minded, mean spirited. You tell him and review your situation.

I'm not deliberately asking for high end wine. I like New Zealand sauvignon blanc or a Malbec. The cost of the wine depends on where we are. I could order pinot or chardonnay, but I don't like them so much so don't see the point.

I am liking the idea of just buying myself a bottle and he can sort his own pints out.

As an occasional thing this wouldn't bother me at all but if it was every single time I would find it annoying. It would be more polite to get a smaller drink, at least sometimes. Or buy more rounds. What you are doing is the same as people who have a 3 course meal and then want to split the bill evenly with someone who only had one course... It's rude. The person who had more should offer to pay more, especially if it's a regular thing

Why are people saying it's tight to want to divide things evenly?

There wouldn’t be much difference here- a pint of Peroni is £5.40 at our local in Ealing. But I was in Hammersmith the other day and ordered a large glass of house red- £9.10

Price of wine by the glass in London is an epic piss take. It is one of the reasons I love having a drink in France, you can order a glass of house wine without even checking the price as it will only cost a few euros. The whole economic mental gymnastics one has to carry out in order to establish if it is cheaper to just buy a bottle rather then order two glasses of wine.