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Original poster

Part boarding school isn't good for kids

272 replies

Aquamarinestar · 30/11/2021 21:06

My friend suggested I put my kids into a part boarding school (it's like a boarding school but they finish at 8-9 pm] and just go home to sleep. What are your views on this? Is it just as "cruel" as boarding school?

OP posts:
2reefsin30knots · 03/12/2021 18:43

That's OK @Redbkyedotpot, nobody is forcing you to use a school like that for your DC.

My DS absolutely loves school. He has been boarding one night a week since Y5 because he begged to. We live 5 minutes from the school gates and I'm home by 5pm. There is a gang of them who book in to board on the same night- he just sees it as a sleepover with his mates. They climb trees and play cricket and watch rubbish films in their dressing gowns. Better than another night sat gaming.

CovidFreeChristmas · 03/12/2021 18:44

I know, you were very clear about different children different needs. I was just quoting you to reiterate that, not argue your point. I can see it didn't quite come across like that though.

Redbkyedotpot · 03/12/2021 18:47

@2reefsin30knots yep and I wouldn't and I think the op came to that same conclusion as did a few others.

KatyAnna · 03/12/2021 19:06

That’s okay, I was being over sensitive really!

2reefsin30knots · 03/12/2021 19:23

@Redbkyedotpot is the main issue here that you don't work and you've got a chip on your shoulder about women who do?

Do you really think all mothers (not fathers, I note) should stay at home until their children are 16?

Redbkyedotpot · 03/12/2021 19:32

I do work! I work part time. But I think mothers and their children have more of a special bond than children do with their fathers, and that's biological.

ThePoisonousMushroom · 03/12/2021 19:40

@Redbkyedotpot

I do work! I work part time. But I think mothers and their children have more of a special bond than children do with their fathers, and that's biological.
And even if that was true (I don’t believe it to be), are you only able to adequately care for your child after school if you have that ‘special bond’? Due to our working hours and flexibility, DH does far more of the after school care for our children than I do.
2reefsin30knots · 03/12/2021 19:40

You have some odd ideas.

CovidFreeChristmas · 03/12/2021 19:50

I'd also make the assumption from this thread that your child is the younger end of primary @redbkyedotpot

Once they start to grow up they want to spend more time with friends rather than parents, no matter how 'special' the bond. And you'll wish that they could hang out with friends at school in a safe environment, rather than either online through social media and all the drama that brings, or worse round the local park doing nothing in particular.

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 10:03

Let's face the probable facts here, if these state flexi boarding schools were that "great" most people would have heard of them! Or would want to send their kids to them! No one in my circles or any of the DMs I know have heard of them (and I was a school governor in the past).
These schools primarily cater for those who cannot look after their kids (like armed forces, ((no disrespect and thank you for your service) or those who come from special home circumstance's. "Normal" people send their kids to "normal" schools. Many of these schools have after school clubs, and some are actually run by teachers and not hectic or unruly as some pps have described. It clearly must depend on the school. Better so, most people have a childminder or family member who picks up their kids and takes them home to their OWN home environment which they feel familiar with and they can hang out in their rooms with their own things/toys and are able to change into their own clothes and pot around and be comfortable. They can also eat at home with their parents/family member which is so important, especially for children under 16 years of age. None of this Saturday school nonsense either, I remember my best friends daughter did Sat school and resented her parents so much for it. No one wants to be at school on saturdays!! That aside, what if you want a weekend away with your own family (abroad or locally) or they want a play date or have a birthday to attend too. It makes everything more difficult. We always valued our free whole two days a week with our children.
Anyway, It sounds like OP has come to the same conclusions herself.

Kanaloa · 05/12/2021 11:49

Why are people turning this into a boarding school argument? Whether or not boarding is good for children isn’t the topic - op was talking about a situation where she would drop her kids off early morning at school and return to collect them at 8/9pm. Whether or not you agree with boarding school, that’s not an acceptable routine for a 7 year old child to be arriving home for bath and bed at about 9.30/10pm. It’s not workable in the actual situation op asked about.

Boarding or part boarding is a different situation.

DoubleTweenQueen · 05/12/2021 11:56

Boarding schools that offer flexi-boarding do exist and I personally know two of them - extremely good schools too, with very happy pupils and families!

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 12:00

@DoubleTweenQueen
Of course they'd be happy they don't have their kids around much so it's convenient for them. I'm not saying that's the case with everyone of course but that's just how it seems. The only scenario I can see this working for is for kids of armed forces or those who have special circumstances, most people send their kids to 9-5 schools with childcare or family arrangements in place. Fact!

DoubleTweenQueen · 05/12/2021 12:01

[quote GreenAussieTrail]@DoubleTweenQueen
Of course they'd be happy they don't have their kids around much so it's convenient for them. I'm not saying that's the case with everyone of course but that's just how it seems. The only scenario I can see this working for is for kids of armed forces or those who have special circumstances, most people send their kids to 9-5 schools with childcare or family arrangements in place. Fact![/quote]
Honestly, this is such bs. You truly don’t know what you’re talking about.

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 12:02

The school in which I was a governed 80% of school pick ups were done by one of the parents. So either a lot of parents worked from home, worked part time or one of them was not working.
This is the current set up it seems at my grandkids school too, of course the pandemic now has made this more possible.

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 12:03

@DoubleTweenQueen
I can say the same about you!

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 12:16

[quote GreenAussieTrail]@DoubleTweenQueen
Of course they'd be happy they don't have their kids around much so it's convenient for them. I'm not saying that's the case with everyone of course but that's just how it seems. The only scenario I can see this working for is for kids of armed forces or those who have special circumstances, most people send their kids to 9-5 schools with childcare or family arrangements in place. Fact![/quote]
And that exactly what flexiboarding offers! A late pick up, for juniors usually 7pm absolute latest. Most have been picked up by 6/6:30.

Only instead of being stuck in a school hall with a few beaten up toys and a few random children from each year group, you're with all your friends (because everyone stays) you have every club you could dream of at your disposal, trips out, home activities like baking, TV, films, consoles....life is one giant playdate! And you can do more exciting things than at home.

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 12:17

There's good reason why state boarding schools tend to be the most over subscribed schools in their area.

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 12:22

So basically they're better than home it sounds like. My point exactly!

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 12:27

All the stuff described (activities etc) are what parents should be doing with their kids. (Baking, playing games, movie nights etc).
Let's agree to disagree. I truly don't think they're good for kids under 16. I understand some people HAVE to do it but it should be a last resort.

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 12:37

@GreenAussieTrail

All the stuff described (activities etc) are what parents should be doing with their kids. (Baking, playing games, movie nights etc). Let's agree to disagree. I truly don't think they're good for kids under 16. I understand some people HAVE to do it but it should be a last resort.

Yes, except working parents can't do that midweek.

It's not a last resort at all. It's most definitely 1st choice for many. Many working parents are fighting for places because they offer so much more than a normal school. SAHPs can't offer all the activities and rec time activities they have either.

Can you think of a single person that can take their children to multiple clubs a week (including things like horse riding and kayaking), bake with them every night, have playdates everyday, offer arts and crafts activities on tap, chill time, help with homework and everything else. Then you still pick up and get the good bits, bedtime stories and chatting about the day!

2reefsin30knots · 05/12/2021 12:37

I'm not sure how many 15yos want to bake cookies with mummy after school.

2reefsin30knots · 05/12/2021 12:41

TBH if we are going to say that all mothers of U16s have to have jobs that enable them to do pick-up after school and devote their entire attention to their child(ren) after 3.15pm, we are not going to be able to keep schools open anyway.

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 12:45

I'm not talking about midweek, I'm talking about weekends and after school. No one I know and other pps on here have heard of flexi boarding. A lot of outstanding normal state schools are oversubscribed too and people fight for places there!.
At 7pm most children 6,7,8 and maybe 9 are having their baths and not just returning home from school. Most children prefer their home environment, home is home and school is school, they shouldn't overlap. The first thing my grandkids do when they get home is change out of their uniform. School is done. There is a clear cut off.
Like I said, let's agree to disagree. Most people and statistically correct this is too go to normal schools and not all after school clubs are how you describe them. What you describe is unheard of.

ChequerBoard · 05/12/2021 12:49

@GreenAussieTrail

All the stuff described (activities etc) are what parents should be doing with their kids. (Baking, playing games, movie nights etc). Let's agree to disagree. I truly don't think they're good for kids under 16. I understand some people HAVE to do it but it should be a last resort.

You're way out of touch with this. You have zero knowledge of state boarding schools so please stop making invalid and erroneous statements about them. Having been a governor of a non-boarding school doesn't give you any insight at all into a school like this and it's evident from your comments you know nothing about the students these schools attract or the benefits of the international outlook they have.

As another poster says there is very good reason why these schools are the most over-subscribed secondary schools in their local area. These are high-achieving schools delivering excellent educational experiences to their students.

I have 2 DC that have weekly boarded at a fantastic state boarding school from Y7. One is now in her first year at a prestigious Uni, the other still there and studying for his GCSEs with mostly grade 9 predicted grades. Both are happy, well adjusted kids with very strong family bonds.