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Original poster

Part boarding school isn't good for kids

272 replies

Aquamarinestar · 30/11/2021 21:06

My friend suggested I put my kids into a part boarding school (it's like a boarding school but they finish at 8-9 pm] and just go home to sleep. What are your views on this? Is it just as "cruel" as boarding school?

OP posts:
LittleGwyneth · 02/12/2021 13:30

I went to and loved boarding school, but this sounds absolutely awful. We were completely unstructured from 6pm onwards. It sounds like they'd be being managed all day, every day?

Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 14:08

From what ages do you fell/think it's appropriate? Curios.

OP posts:
CovidFreeChristmas · 02/12/2021 14:13

@Aquamarinestar

From what ages do you fell/think it's appropriate? Curios.

The set up you described in your OP? Doesn't sound good for anyone.

Proper flexi boarding (after school activities/dinner plus optional stays throughout the year) 7+, maybe a bit younger.

Full boarding, personally I'd say 10 + but I completely understand the need for some 7+ and sometimes it is best for those individuals.

SSOYS · 02/12/2021 14:19

I'm not sure day boarding is ever great for kids, and definitely not at that age. The kids end up feeling neither one thing nor the other- they're not at home at school (like the full boarders are) so feel like they're missing out there but also don't have a full home life at home.

I wouldn't consider full boarding at that age if you can possibly avoid it.

In your shoes, OP, I'd find someone to help with pick ups and after school care.

Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 14:34

@SSOYS FLEXI boarding is bad? Most flexi boarding I have looked at they finish around 8 pmish

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 14:40

I know some pps have said why have kids if you don't eat together during the week etc or they just come home at 6tather than straight after school at 3pm. It's harsh.

OP posts:
SSOYS · 02/12/2021 14:45

@Aquamarinestar Finish at 8pm means home and straight to bed at age 7, doesn't it? It's a long day and people I know who've done it struggled and the kids end up feeling they're missing out at home and at school.

Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 14:47

So is 6-7 any better (between 6-7)

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 14:48

I thought the point of flexi is they stay at school longer (start earlier too) and eat dinner there and are basically home for bath and bed?

OP posts:
SSOYS · 02/12/2021 15:12

Yes, that is the point. The question is whether it's a good way to do things.

Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 16:04

So people are saying even flexi boarding is not good for young kids as they should have more of a home life?

OP posts:
CovidFreeChristmas · 02/12/2021 16:10

@Aquamarinestar

So people are saying even flexi boarding is not good for young kids as they should have more of a home life?
No. Only 1 person has said that.

A 7 year old flexi would not finish at 8pm. The full boarders would be in bed before that. A 7 year old flexi would likely need to be picked up by 6:30, maybe 7pm latest. So not much different to a childminder/after school club, except they get a proper dinner, help with prep and decent extra curricular opertunities.

Kanaloa · 02/12/2021 16:10

Well, yeah. Most of us wouldn’t want to be at work from 8am-8pm then go home and go right to sleep. I know some have to do it if they work shift jobs but most of us wouldn’t like it. When would they play with their toys/watch telly? Or hang out with you and their dad?

Kanaloa · 02/12/2021 16:11

Of course if it was different hours that would be different. But what you initially mentioned if picking a child up at 8/9pm just sounds too much to me.

DeepaBeesKit · 02/12/2021 16:20

Most of us wouldn’t want to be at work from 8am-8pm then go home and go right to sleep. I know some have to do it if they work shift jobs but most of us wouldn’t like it. When would they play with their toys/watch telly? Or hang out with you and their dad?

This. I work and use childcare, but DH and I flex our hours as much as possible so our kids can spend as much time as possible at home with us.

Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 16:46

Still seems like they wouldn't have dinner with the whole family which isn't great! And would they have to be at school super souped early as well

OP posts:
CovidFreeChristmas · 02/12/2021 18:00

@Aquamarinestar

So is 6-7 any better (between 6-7)
That's when after school clubs tend to finish, so it's no different. It's much better actually because there are organised extra curricular activities, prep (homework) time, tvs/consoles/pool tables etc. for rec time, proper cooked dinner, the boarding matrons usually supervise things the kids want to do too like going for walks, baking, playing sports (not clubs, just having a kick about with friends) and plenty of toys to play with.
CovidFreeChristmas · 02/12/2021 18:02

@Kanaloa

Well, yeah. Most of us wouldn’t want to be at work from 8am-8pm then go home and go right to sleep. I know some have to do it if they work shift jobs but most of us wouldn’t like it. When would they play with their toys/watch telly? Or hang out with you and their dad?
That's not what happens though.
3luckystars · 02/12/2021 18:04

Sounds like a last resort if you were really desperately stuck but long term the children would be exhausted. It sounds like a tough life for them.

Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 18:07

Agree with @Kanaloa it's not a good life for them, thanks everyone this has made me reconsider. Like others have said it's too young and actually kids are happiest at home in a family environment not in a school environment from 7-7 or similar. May have to get family to take them home and then at least they'll be with family and at home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquamarinestar · 02/12/2021 18:10

In their own space and environment

OP posts:
CalamariGames · 02/12/2021 18:13

This sounds like the worst of both worlds.

Kanaloa · 03/12/2021 00:21

@CovidFreeChristmas

Isn’t it? From what I could understand of the op that’s exactly what would be happening in this particular situation op was considering. She would drop them at school in the morning and collect them at 8/9pm. If you have a different understanding of it perhaps I’ve confused things.

CovidFreeChristmas · 03/12/2021 07:37

[quote Kanaloa]@CovidFreeChristmas

Isn’t it? From what I could understand of the op that’s exactly what would be happening in this particular situation op was considering. She would drop them at school in the morning and collect them at 8/9pm. If you have a different understanding of it perhaps I’ve confused things.[/quote]

The OP doesn't understand how flexi boarding works. The situation she describes in the OP doesn't exist. There is no boarding school, state or independent that would permit an 8pm or 9pm pick up for prep age. Even for seniors 9pm wouldn't be permitted, later years. Boarding schools have to be really rigid with bedtimes in order to function so it's just not possible.

Thehop · 03/12/2021 07:42

I LOVED boarding school. We had school on Saturday mornings even. I much preferred being at school to home.

Finishing at 8-9 would be a right pain in the arse I reckon.

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