Part boarding school isn't good for kids

[Aquamarinestar]

My friend suggested I put my kids into a part boarding school (it's like a boarding school but they finish at 8-9 pm] and just go home to sleep. What are your views on this? Is it just as "cruel" as boarding school?

Or do like me @Clymene and send them from nursery to a prep boarding school where most of their friends end up boarding in the end so they end up begging you to board anyway.
Mine wants to do more nights. I don't need more than two nights though and don't want to spend the money on it! Its certainly not all doom and gloom as some people think on here but it's not for all dc.

@Aquamarinestar

Are there any state boarding schools?

Yes there are state boarding schools for secondary but not for primary.

@Aquamarinestar

Are there any state boarding schools?

Isn’t Sexey’s a state with boarding option attached.

@spottedleopard you say it's not for all dc
What kids is it not good for?

@spottedleopard

Or do like me *@Clymene* and send them from nursery to a prep boarding school where most of their friends end up boarding in the end so they end up begging you to board anyway. Mine wants to do more nights. I don't need more than two nights though and don't want to spend the money on it! Its certainly not all doom and gloom as some people think on here but it's not for all dc.

You could do that I guess. The long term impact of boarding on young children's emotional development is very well documented and make pretty ugly reading though.

So it seems an odd thing to do.

Would a nanny not be a cheaper option?

I know friends' children did this in 6th form and was great for studying & eating with their friends in the evenings, but younger kids would get terribly tired after their day.

I went to a boarding school where day pupils stayed til 8.30pm, we went in on Saturdays and alternate sundays for compulsory chapel. Most days I went in at 7.30am and had breakfast at school. I had all my meals at school other than Saturday evening and sundays. School rules applied even to day pupils not at school (in relation to town locations "out of bounds" so you could be housed (forbidden from having town leave) as a day pupil for going out of bounds on a Saturday afternoon without a parent.
Might as well have boarded-and most of us would have preferred to because we missed out on the really good bits of boarding

Great for older kids, awful idea for younger kids. Their emotions are developing and they need more time to decompress and rest at home in a familiar space. Get a nanny.

What time does your 7 year old normally go to bed? Mine are in bed reading at 7.30, lights off at 8 (aged 8 and 6). They’d be bloody shattered.

I voted YABU for the 'as cruel as boarding' ignorant comment.

Best days of my life and the girls I went with are still the best friends I could have hoped for. They are like sisters to me.

Oh and I have seriously great parents who I am very close to.

I simply loved boarding. And most of the many people I know who went also loved it.

@ChequerBoard

Very unusual for boarding for any kind to be available for primary age.

At my DCs secondary this kind of arrangement is called flexi boarding. The kids arrive in time for breakfast with the weekly and full boarders and stay for dinner and prep in the evenings before going home at a pre-arranged time, usually about 8pm.

It works well for some, not that different to weekly boarding really.

Both my DC were/are weekly boarders. It's worked well for us a family.

Flexiboarding at DDs school is the occasional night here and there

There are quite a few state boarding schools OP (my children are pupils at one though they don't board) but to my knowledge they are all secondary schools. Obviously they are a lot cheaper than independent schools as you only pay for the boarding component, the education is free. However, if my children's school is typical, there aren't many places as the vast majority of pupils are day pupils. It's something you could consider for secondary but isn't likely to be your answer just now.
I'd agree with the suggestion of getting a nanny as it sounds like bedtimes would be too late in the arrangement you describe. One of my nieces did something like this - there was a bus that dropped day pupils from her school home after prep. It worked for her as she's got several younger siblings so found it hard to study innpeace at home but she was a lot older, probably about 14, before she started doing it. Children of 7 and 10 might be ok with the occasional late night, but not regularly in my opinion.

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead Yes, our flexies have the option of staying the odd night or two throughout the term. A couple of rooms are kept vacant for flexies to use but this must be pre-booked with the boarding house.

Well, you know your kids. What do you think? I would have loathed spending that much time in the company of numerous others all day and all evening until bedtime every day, but then I’m an introvert - not shy and I enjoy other people’s company for smaller chunks of time, I would just find being around other people for almost my entire waking day every day a grotesque form of torture. Do the children doing this get any privacy and genuine downtime if they have no bedroom to escape to? Sounds lovely for the sort of child that enjoys constant distractions, less convincing for those who like downtime to process their own thoughts in genuine peace, quiet and privacy.

Here's a list of state boarding schools in England but afaik none are for primary kids. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_state_boarding_schools_in_England
Also, you still have to pay for the boarding element - just not the tuition.

Depends on age. Obviously if its past their bed time it is not good but I know teens that do this and love it. They are days kids at a boarding school. So they have their normal full day stay for clubs, supper, prep, hang out with friends. Great for parents who work long hours and the kids love it.

Yes - pay more and they can just board but this way they still get to go home and sleep in their own bed.

"Stuff children beg for" and "stuff that's good for children" rarely overlap. I wouldnt necessarily class the fact that a child was "begging" to board/flexiboard as meaning it was the best choice for that child's long term well being.

&silverbubbles
Depends on age.

Op’s children are 7 and 10

7 and 10 is too young IMO. I went to a private secondary which took 50% boarders, I was a day pupil and remember so many of the girls in Y7 having major issues. There were a lot of tears. By the time we were 14/15, it seemed like a much more appealing option, at least for the boarders that went home at weekends.

Err no. That’s far too young.

My friends son is at Repton and they dont finish until 9 weekdays and do Saturday mornings too, luckily we live very close so he has about a 5 minute journey. He is exhausted and they are thinking of removing him, he is 15. I cannot imagine this for a wee 7 year old.

For what it would cost, get a nanny and let the wee ones have a break ffs.

How many other pupils their age stay that late at school?
Would they cope with such a long day?
Would you miss them?
Do they want to do this?
Why do you think boarding is cruel?
Can you move closer to work/work from home/change jobs?

I can’t imagine a prep school allowing a 7 year old to stay until 8 or 9pm. At my DS’ school the Y3 are in bed with lights out by 7:30pm.
It would make me question the whole ethos and pastoral care of the school.

Well, I'm not sure if it's great, but is it worse than going to some other childcare outside of school?