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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Part boarding school isn't good for kids

272 replies

Aquamarinestar · 30/11/2021 21:06

My friend suggested I put my kids into a part boarding school (it's like a boarding school but they finish at 8-9 pm] and just go home to sleep. What are your views on this? Is it just as "cruel" as boarding school?

OP posts:
CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 12:52

That's your opinion, fine.

But it's not most people.
It would entirely depend if you live near one to have the option and hear about it. Like I said, in those areas, they tend to be the most oversubscribed schools so clearly many, many people do choose them.

Weekends are a non issue. Saturday school is only half day, even at places like Eton. And there are exeats for weekends away, plus longer holidays so you can get term time deals away.

This I'd probably my biggest gripe with social media. People that have never heard of something trying to have an opinion on something they know nothing about.

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 13:07

Yes it's my opinion. But I don't think it's good for younger kids. No one I personally know would opt for a school like this compared to a regular outstanding state school.
In fact especially now with the pandemic and most people being able to wfh it should be easier to be more involved with your kids and pickups etc

VitalsStable · 05/12/2021 13:07

I've not heard of a boarding school that keeps kids that late. DC1 has been to 2 private schools, he boards weekly now but is off to Uni soon. Both schools do flexi boarding but that means they can stay over a few nights a week. Both also have the option of the kids staying at school to do clubs and homework and then they get school transport home and so get home around 6.30pm.

DC2 goes to a school where they do flexi boarding from year 5 but then they also have to go to school Saturday mornings so often they'll stay over Friday night. DC gets a bus in from our village and it brings them back for 6.30pm each night. After school they do clubs and their homework and hang out with their friends. When they were at home when they went to the local school we did her homework with them, spent hours running them to sports clubs and to play dates, now they just do it all at school. We have dinner together and hang out after they get home and it works well for our family.

It's different for other families, especially ones who have children who are closer in age, DC2 was happy to go as they don't have siblings at home in the week so we were constantly organising stuff as they thought they were missing out on things. Now they're happy as they get to do that without all the rushing around.

There are schools out there that will do everything and then they get home later but I've never heard of one that keeps them to that late. DC2 is 8 and if day I wouldn't have put them in for the longer day before this year.

DoubleTweenQueen · 05/12/2021 13:30

@GreenAussieTrail

Yes it's my opinion. But I don't think it's good for younger kids. No one I personally know would opt for a school like this compared to a regular outstanding state school. In fact especially now with the pandemic and most people being able to wfh it should be easier to be more involved with your kids and pickups etc
I know this is going off-topic, but outstanding state schools are unavailable to a lot of people, hence the preponderance of excellent day and boarding indys in this area (including flexi!)
Goldenbear · 05/12/2021 17:07

Of domestic life for a young child is not all extra curricular clubs but do I actually want that for my 7 year old, not really! When mine were 7 they were needing time to play with their toys, doing their own thing within the comfort of their own home! I wouldn't want everything laid on for them and I enjoy my time with my dc in the evening, institutionalised fun is certainly not the same thing at all!

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 17:24

@Goldenbear exactly!!

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 17:25

This obsession with doing as many clubs as possible.... most of them are tired by the end of the day anyway!

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 17:31

Which is another bonus of boarding schools. The children choose what clubs they do and how many extras (although I think most say at least 1 sport) so it's not pushy parents, it's completely the child's choice! If they want to go to the boarding house and just play, they can.

GreenAussieTrail · 05/12/2021 17:59

Looks like op has chosen otherwise. I'd personally rather monitored and help with my childrens homework and be more involved and that includes eating together.

Greysquirreltricks · 05/12/2021 21:24

I'm a teacher and this set up wouldn't work for me. A lot of these schools have similar holidays to private schools (I teach at a state) and that would mean I'd never see my kids at half terms etc as I'd be at work. It's pointless!

Goldenbear · 05/12/2021 21:42

CovidFreeChristmas but what about those children who just want to play in their own homes? I'm thinking maybe 1 friend out of 5 of my DD's would have likes this at 7! My DS is a gregarious character but even he would have struggled at 7. My 10 year old DD would hate it now let alone 7!

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 22:00

I'm not saying it's best for everyone. But as a childcare choice for working parents it's brilliant! Much better than an afterschool club or childminder.

Greysquirreltricks · 05/12/2021 22:12

Def doesn't work for a lot of people me thinks!

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 22:26

Again... it clearly does as they are massively oversubscribed

Greysquirreltricks · 05/12/2021 22:31

Not for teachers! And a lot of regular schools are over subscribed too!

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 22:39

In one class of 24 (smaller class sizes) I know there are at least 6 teacher parents. 1 is a single parent and another 2 teacher parents, so yes, even teachers.

Greysquirreltricks · 05/12/2021 22:41

Strange as I'm a teacher and a few I looked at had different half terms / overlapping holidays which means I'd need extra childcare and wouldn't be able to see my kids.

ThePoisonousMushroom · 05/12/2021 22:42

@Greysquirreltricks

Strange as I'm a teacher and a few I looked at had different half terms / overlapping holidays which means I'd need extra childcare and wouldn't be able to see my kids.
It wouldn’t work for you… that’s fine. No one is making you do it. You have no idea about other people’s situations though. Even other teachers.
Greysquirreltricks · 05/12/2021 22:45

True but these schools have same holidays as private schools so it only works for theachers who also work in private schools.

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 22:47

Once again.... No one is forcing you to send your child to a boarding school (as a boarder or flexi). But they are a truly fantastic option for many, with better education, facilities and activities on offer than a standard state school.

If you know nothing about them, other than a quick Google, your opinion (which of course you are freely allowed to express) is irrelevant and redundant.

Greysquirreltricks · 05/12/2021 22:48

Like I said it only works for teachers who also work in private schools and they have the same holidays as their kids.

CovidFreeChristmas · 05/12/2021 22:48

That's nice.

Greysquirreltricks · 05/12/2021 22:49

Yes it is. Shame not for you!

Alltheblue · 05/12/2021 22:49

For parents who are not going to see their children anyway because of their big city jobs and whose children find school an important place of security and nurturing, yes I can accept it might be right thing.

However my kids would be unable to wind down while changing environment and we'd end up talking too late. 8 is late. Do they get bathed there?

Greysquirreltricks · 05/12/2021 22:50

@Alltheblue totally agree!