Part boarding school isn't good for kids

[Aquamarinestar]

My friend suggested I put my kids into a part boarding school (it's like a boarding school but they finish at 8-9 pm] and just go home to sleep. What are your views on this? Is it just as "cruel" as boarding school?

8 or 9pm sounds far too late for those ages.

At my prep, I stayed until 6pm each day (all day pupils did, it was the standard school day), which was late enough. We had lessons until 3.30pm, then an hour of sport, then ‘tea’ (literally a cup of tea and a biscuit!) then prep from 5-6pm. It was plenty late enough.

At secondary, if I stayed for prep then I finished at 8.30/9pm, but obviously I was older.

If you need wrap around childcare, with regular late hours, surely a nanny is a better option for primary age children?

Day boarding is genius - it means all homework and extra curricular activities are done and kids are fed so when they come home you have quality uninterrupted time. It’s ideal for parents who work long hours and means no need for wrap around childcare

@VanCleefArpels

Day boarding is genius - it means all homework and extra curricular activities are done and kids are fed so when they come home you have quality uninterrupted time. It’s ideal for parents who work long hours and means no need for wrap around childcare

I don’t think a 7 year old would be having much quality time at home after 9pm though?

Ah I missed the ages - yes for senior years this can be a great option

Seems worse to me, weekly boarding works fine for lots of families, but no kid wants to be coming home at 8pm

I think it sounds terrible. What would be the point of them coming home at that time just to go straight to bed?
I think they might as well just board during the week or whenever it is you work.

Boarding school is not cruel. It's fantastic.

However... my DC all went at 13. I wouldn't have had them at school until 8 or 9PM at the ages of 7 and 10. Or perhaps very, very occasionally if there were no alternative, but not on a regular basis.

The day pupils at one of my DC's schools were called "day boarders" (which always seemed silly). They would stay until 8 or 9PM and go home after supper and prep. However, they were all 11+, and most of them were older than that.

If I were you, I'd get a nanny.

There is state boarding from 11 in a few places but priority is given to those who live in inaccessible places like islands, very rural with an hour+ journey or needs identified by social services eg in kinship care. My dd state boarded for 6th form at a specialist school

@BoardingSchoolMater

Boarding school is not cruel. It's fantastic.

However... my DC all went at 13. I wouldn't have had them at school until 8 or 9PM at the ages of 7 and 10. Or perhaps very, very occasionally if there were no alternative, but not on a regular basis.

The day pupils at one of my DC's schools were called "day boarders" (which always seemed silly). They would stay until 8 or 9PM and go home after supper and prep. However, they were all 11+, and most of them were older than that.

If I were you, I'd get a nanny.

Not for everyone - parents included.

Ask my DP and her siblings, they accepted boarding school as did their parents. It what a lot of services children went through.

The get a nanny/send them to a school where they finish at 8/9 question.
Why? Do you not like them?

It’s not really called part boarding
It’s a prep system

I think it’s brilliant - wish I did it for my kids
Big regrets that I didn’t realise how fantastic it is for kids and family

Why have kids…🤷🏻‍♀️

I know of a state boarding school that takes from KS2 for day boarders, but it still costs money. They don’t charge for the normal school tuition but you have to pay for the rest. I’m not sure really why it’s better than a good after school club. Can one parent not pick up by 6pm? Some childminders might do late pick ups.

I am unaware of any boarding school in the UK offering this and so am not sure what the purpose of this post is, since this does not to my knowledge exist nor would it be approved by inspectors.

P.s. Boarding school isn't by design cruel. For some families, it is ideal. For others, totally unnecessary.

We were in a similar position and got an after school nanny. She collected them from school, ferried them to after school activities (which they hasn’t been able to do before), made their dinner and made sure homework was done. Made a huge amount of difference to all of us. Me; not having the dreaded panic commute across London to get to nursery by 7, and DD’s, were in their own home, fed, warm and happy.
I found someone through care.com.
Good luck, I know it’s not easy!

I am unaware of any boarding school in the UK offering this
I can name several.

Also, as I said above I live about 5 minutes from Repton, there is a pre prep that offers full boarding from 7 and potentially from 4 depending on the child and the requirements of the parents. They are the main feeder to Repton (a lot of their pupils are kids of serving forces families).

Its a thing.

OP I never boarded but did have parents that worked until around 9pm most nights so had nannies. Please don't do this to your kids. Honestly it's horrible. Me and my sibling both missed out so much on family experiences growing up and both our parents regretted it. I used to watch my friends mum's who were home much more and envy them. I have barely any memories of my parents just doing normal family things like sitting watching TV with us, doing home work or talking to us in the evening. Me and sibling decided we would never do it to our kids and haven't. Please don't take this as a critiscim of working parents as me and dh both work but right now your kids see you at least a couple of hours a night which kids do need.

I am not against boarding in principle, in fact I think that DD2 and 3 would have thrived with it if I could have afforded it. But what I dont get is having kids and then working out that you need to send them to live with someone else for the majority of the time in order to work to, ironically, pay the school fees.

Why not just scale down expectations? Or .... not have kids?

Waits for flaming.....

Sorry for my misunderstanding @pyongyangkipperbang

I think it was the timing that I'm not familiar with.

I don't know any boarding school offering evening care.

With the huge decline in British boarding, the market is evolving, but yourvpost seems to relate to younger boarding, which, though declining, does exist.

Have I totally misread?

So many preconceptions!

1. Boarding isn’t cruel . It works for many . After much heartache I sent my 12 yr old to boarding this year . Her local school Was not suiting her and she was just not buckling down at home . Local girls are either crazy sporty ones ( and she isn’t the same level ) or experimenting with going off the rails … it’s been hard with covid and the school has been full of people having meltdowns . At boarding school - she is away for 3 weeks, then home for a long weekend , back for 3 weeks then an extra long half term break. When she’s there - she is busy for every minute with activities and extra lessons and supervised homework and friendship / social time . Their phones are taken away every evening until they have done 2 hours of homework / musoc / reading .

When she was at local school, her evenings were disjointed … she was exhausted commuting from school and then went out to do sports or musoc lessons , and I would often have to include her younger siblings schedules in her journeys , or a stop off at the garage , etc … come home to dinner and then homework - and then realise her friends were all doing a watch along that she wanted to do or a tiktok. Cue tears and arguments Weekends the same - we want to do something as a family , but one has a match amd one has a concert and another has a party … no quality family time

Now she comes home , having worked herself to the bone amd having had fun. Structured and disciplined . There’s no worry that janine has binge watched stranger things or Suzy has done ten tiktok s that got super likes … she’s just home and happy to chill , and at school she is happy to work and play. She has started to gain a bit of weight, got stronger, healthier …

I didn’t want to do it - but glad that the evidence is it has worked

For day boarding - it’s the same
Not all schools have great activities at after school
Club.
Childminders can be great but a school system where you get your school Day and then swimming and musoc and your interests seen to bu professionals - what not to like. Add in the fact that there’s no ferrying around town to clubs and having the weekend free for proper family time

Usually there is a scale - longer days for older kids , shorter for younger . A proper meal
Too. So they come home , not to do homework or musoc practice but to have a bath amd a goodnight story and a chat … amazing for the relationships of all

I wish o had done it - I just didn’t know it was such a fab option

There’s a brand new state boarding prep school in norfolk

Ps
I don’t think having a nanny or childminder is as good as they still have to be ferried about . They are in a lovely environment with their friends and it is normal . If you’re going to have a nanny / childminder - this is better ( and cheaper ).
I don’t see the value on giving one to one care to another individual . I personally want to me my child’s main carer
I see the parents in a panic wjen their Nanny is sick …and the kids who bond with their nanny more than their parents

And after prep school- you still have 2 hours of time every evening stress free with your kids just to relax amd enjoy life with them
If you can afford it - do it … there’s absolutely
No child centroc / relationship based reason not to

Full time boarding is cruel in my opinion so this set up doesn't seem so bad to me really. But can't you get a child minder or something? To pick the kids up from school and take them home etc

@Yummypumpkin

Sorry for my misunderstanding *@pyongyangkipperbang*

I think it was the timing that I'm not familiar with.

I don't know any boarding school offering evening care.

With the huge decline in British boarding, the market is evolving, but yourvpost seems to relate to younger boarding, which, though declining, does exist.

Have I totally misread?

Misunderstanding both ways I think!

Sorry!

It doesn't look like they offer day boarding though @Busygoingblah, just full boarding. Surprisingly they don't even seem to have weekly boarding on their website actually.

ChequerBoard

Very unusual for boarding for any kind to be available for primary age.“

Our school started at 7.

(Ours were day pupils)